Fridge o' Doom

Jakob’s refrigerator was ancient and getting pretty worn out. The ice machine quit years ago, but the fridge still cooled. Although he wanted one of those newer models with Wi-Fi, he had seen plenty of advertisements for them. Those modern models could tell you when you were almost out of an item or if something had recently spoiled. He knew he couldn’t afford one, though, not on his meager salary. So he decided to go and see what he could afford.

He visited several stores. The stores didn’t have a model in the wine #722F37 color he liked. When he asked the managers if they could get him the color he wanted, they each told him the store could not get any of the models they carried in that color. He did not understand why they all gave him such odd looks when he asked. One place said they could get him the color, but it was in a subpar model that Jakob did not want to spend money on.

Giving up, Jakob went to his favorite fast-food restaurant in the local mall near his house. As he ate his favorite sandwich with an order of fries, he looked around the food court at everyone walking around. Jakob liked to watch people walk by. It gave him a sense of belonging that he did not usually have in his everyday life.

Finishing his meal, he got up and headed towards the south entrance to leave the mall. As he headed towards the outer glass doors, he noticed somebody had added a new store to the mall.

“Soulful Appliance. That wasn’t here last week,” Jakob said to himself. “Grand Opening. Let’s see what they offer, although they will probably offer me a different product in a different color.” So thinking, Jakob headed toward the store’s only entrance.

The employees started cheering and throwing confetti at him when he crossed the threshold. He almost turned and ran from the store, not expecting so much attention just to enter a store. But what turned out to be the manager grabbed his arm and led him deeper into the store.

“Congratulations!!! You are our 100th visitor today!!! Would you like to know what you won? You won a Natas model S0I6N66033309lleh!!! You can choose from one of three colors! #7C3030, #A95C68, or #722F37. We will just need you to sign some forms, and then you can choose which color you would like, and then we can ship it right over.”

Jakob allowed the manager to lead him over to a desk. He was so shocked that the color he wanted would be one of the prizes. Plus, winning the refrigerator was better, even though Jakob had never heard of the Natas brand. He signed each form without once reading the fine print, feeling a small prick on his finger when he started signing.

After picking out the refrigerator, he wanted, Jakob continued looking at the store's products. He did not wish for the store manager to think that buying a fridge was the sole reason for him to enter their store. He found a new alarm clock, microwave, and a kickass coffee machine that he also bought.

With a promise from the manager that everything would soon be delivered, Jakob left the store. On the way home, he stopped by the grocery store to buy double fudge chocolate ice cream and a bottle of wine to celebrate his good fortune. Seeing the lottery tickets, he decided to spend some money on a few of them, thinking with his luck, he’d be dumb not to take a chance.

When he arrived at his apartment, his order had already been delivered and set up in his kitchen. He was slightly surprised but thought Carl, the bellhop, might have let the delivery technicians in.

Going to his new fridge, he opened the freezer and put the ice cream inside. He was stunned to see a full ice bin already. Let alone the fully stocked freezer with barely enough space to fit his bought ice cream. Opening the cooling compartment, he saw it was very well stocked, with just enough room to place his new bottle of wine. He decided to open his bottle of wine to toast his good fortune.

^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

The fridge was a fantastic appliance. As the weeks passed, Jakob found he could control the fridge from an app on his phone. This app let Jakob know before he ran out of the necessities and even asked if he wanted to replace any splurge items he had added to his grocery list, automatically updating the list on his phone. It also told him when anything was past its best-by date. He was so glad that he went into Soulful Appliance that day.

Then came the second month he had the fridge. He started noticing that food was spoiling faster and running out of items more swiftly than he should have. It had gotten so bad he had returned to the mall to talk to the store manager about having a repair technician come out and check out the problem. When he arrived at the store, there was a fashion store there instead.

The missing store initially confused him. He thought it might be at a different entrance instead. So he checked the other three doors, but there still wasn’t a Soulful Appliance store. When he asked at the information desk, they seriously just laughed at him and told him the mall had never had such a store in this location.

Jakob went home more confused than ever. He pulled out the book to see if it had a service number listed. There was a toll-free number that one could call. So he dialed it.

1-800-6666-0666

Ring

Ring

Ring

“Hello, and thank you for calling the Natas hotline. If you are calling to register a product, please press 2. If you are calling to find the nearest Natas reseller, please press 3. If you have an issue with your Natas appliance, please press 4. If you wish to become a Natas’ dis…”

Jakob pushed four quickly, hoping he wouldn’t have to wait on hold too long.

Immediately, a song he had never heard started playing in his ear. The instruments alone sounded like someone was torturing a million cats.

“ Have you ever in your wee life

Seen the evil devil father

kiss his wee wife, Flo.”

“Hello, this is Wormwood; how may I assist you?” A raspy voice on the other end cut into the music.

“Oh, yes, I’m having a problem with my Natas’ fridge. It’s not cooling correctly, and my food is spoiling. How can I get a repair?” Jakob responded, surprised he was only on hold for a short time.

What the hell was that music, and what was up with this dude’s name? Jakob wanted to laugh about the whole phone call but was worried he’d break down and start crying.

“Ah yes, Mr. Schmidt, we can have a technician at your house this afternoon to fix your Natas model S0I6N66033309lleh,” the phone Wormwood said, “Will there be anything else, Mr. Schmidt?”

Jakob couldn’t remember telling Wormwood his name and wondered how the man would know it. He answered vaguely and hung up the phone.

^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

Later that afternoon, Jakob was stepping out of the shower when he heard a noise from the kitchen. Wrapping his towel around himself, he picked up his baseball bat and slowly approached the commotion. Inside was a blue-tinged man dressed in a Natas’ repair technician coveralls. His name tag read Samael, which Jakob thought must be a misspelling.

“Well, Mr. Schimdt, I see your problem. Your model is low on lubricant. You got to lube it now and again to keep the coils cool. Here, I’ll show you how.”

Reaching into his tool bag with his oversized hand, he pulled out a young woman. Taking her to the fridge, Samael opened the door and held her toward the shelves.

“It’s straightforward to do. Remember to use the subject of your choice, although it prefers a young nubile female over all others, and offer them to the fridge's inside. The fridge will do the rest. If you don’t do this regularly, the fridge will eventually take you.”

Jakob stood in absolute shock as his fridge leaned forward, seeming to swallow the girl whole.

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Color code numbers are found on the Color Library website.