Freedom Fighter

Mindi could barely make out the road ahead of her through the driving rain. But it didn’t matter, none of it mattered. She was on her way to nowhere with her whole life in the backseat of the rental car. Would she still go by Mindi, or would she be able to buy a new identity? How much would that cost and where would she even buy the paperwork and ID? Her mind raced faster than the droplets of water could land on the car, she was driving just ahead of a tornado. The sky in the rearview mirror was ominous but she had to keep going before Charles could realize she was gone.

She had seen it in movies, and heard of women running away from their abuser, but never in a million years would she have seen this coming as a part of her own life story. The whole marriage had been surreal, beginning with the carefully planned wedding, being coerced into giving up her career, being told that Charles just didn’t see himself having any children.

Mindi blinked back the tears, and tried to focus on the long highway in front of her, out of Oklahoma and toward Colorado. She had left hours before, as soon as Charles had seen her in their home together on a video chat while he was away on business. Mindi always felt relief when he was away. And dread when he wasn’t. Survival was all she had known for the decade-long marriage. Now she had to find herself again, find a safe place, learn what safe meant all over again. Even if it meant driving ahead of a tornado. Even if it meant chancing hydroplaning into a ditch on a long country highway. She had to focus on the goal: freedom from the mind games, from the unrealistic expectations, from the emotional torture. So, she drove on.

Finally, after 5 hours of pure adrenaline and grit, Mindi crossed the border into Colorado. She pulled into the Colorado Welcome Center parking lot too numb to cry, too battle worn for relief. Only numbness. She closed her eyes and set her head back against the seat’s headrest. What was she doing? How was she going to hide? Where would she find a new home? Never in a million years did Mindi see herself as the woman looking for a shelter to take her in. Yet here she was, with a list of battered women’s shelters throughout the state of Colorado, as well as a few other meditation centers and nonprofits who housed and fed their live-in volunteers. Mindi was sure that even sleeping in her car at a campground would be safer than staying in Tulsa, where Charles had chosen their home to be, near his company’s headquarters. This exhaustion she felt after the 5-hour drive in the onslaught of rain held no comparison to the exhaustion she felt in her mind and soul.

Originally from Texas, Mindi had met Charles at university where he dominated all things he put his hand to: rugby star, pre-law student, award-winning smile and magnetism. No one told Charles no. He was so charismatic that people flocked to tell him yes. He knew how to make others feel special, so it wasn’t until after the wedding that Mindi learned Charles didn’t ever, ever take no for an answer. Charles was not above using his hands to get a yes. And make that person feel like they had somehow earned his displeasure.

Mindi blinked her way back into the present moment in the rental car in the highway rest area parking lot. She stared blankly out the window as families and older couples came and went. It felt like time was standing still. Why Colorado, why not home to Texas? Because she didn’t want to be found. She had always felt a tug toward the state that she and Charles had often vacationed in. But this time she wasn’t heading for the ski resort towns nestled deeply in the tucks and peaks of the Rocky Mountains. This time she was headed for the eastern portion of the states, where the historic and modern cattle ranching took place in meadows below the mountain passes. Mindi even had a few cattle ranches with guest cabins for rent on her list of possible future homes. Home. Mindi laughed out loud at the thought of having a home instead of a mental prison. Could she ever have a peaceful, safe home? Mindi sighed and held the list of possible homes in her trembling hands. Time to choose a destination. She closed her eyes and prayed. “God, whatever you are, I need help. Show me where to go.” When she opened her eyes, her thumbs were both pointing to the same location: Second Chance Ranch. “Ok, God, let’s go.” Mindi called the phone number she had scribbled down one night that she had been brave enough to consider such a daring feat as to actually free herself of Charles’ pervasive grasp.

“Hello, Second Chance Ranch,” a steady male voice answered the phone.

“Hello, I was wondering if you still have a room available for rent in the barn?” She held her breathe and waited, full of anxious hope. Her thoughts raced as she listened for a response, “Please don’t say no, please do say no, I should just go back now.”

“Yes, it is, it’s $150 weekly, paid in advance. Access to the barn kitchen and bathroom with shower is also included.”

“Can I pay cash?” Mindi asked and winced at the possibility of this place falling through.

“Yes ma’am, we’re comfortable with that.” Mindi sighed and felt slight relief. At least now she had a place to go. She should have made these calls before she left. But she could only think of so many things. Like leaving her cell phone behind, saving up some money, packing a get away bag….

“Is it possible for me to come today?”

“Sure, that’s no problem at all. I’ll get the room tidied up and ready for your arrival. I’m Jim, ma’am. My wife Sharon and I run this ranch together.”

“Thank you, Jim, my GPS says I should arrive in about 5 or 6 hours.” Mindi finished up the details of her arrival and hung up the phone. She had a place to stay.

It was sunset when Mindi pulled onto the county lane that held Second Chance Ranch and all it’s acreage. The hues of pink and orange spread across the blue sky like a display of summer sorbet. It was the most amazing sight and held promise of a better tomorrow. Mindi pulled into the long drive and breathed in the fresh mountain air, smelling the evening grass and hearing the sounds of a bullfrog in a nearby pond. Horses in a pasture to her left at the base of a mountain were an almost unimaginably beautiful sight. To her right, more pastures, with cattle grazing in the evening light, their tails swishing and heads flicking flies away. This was the most amazing view she had seen. The cattle ranches in Texas were flat and barren stretches of brown grass with a few trees dotted in here and there. This Colorado scene was jaw dropping.

Mindi pulled up to the large, modern well-cared for barn. She sighed in relief that she was probably not staying in a leaky old thing full of mice. A man and woman waved as they walked out from their front porch to greet her. “Welcome, I’m Jim and this is Sharon,” the gentleman introduced himself. Mindi shook hands with them both and they gave her a quick tour of the building that she would be staying in. Around the side of the barn, in a paddock, was one lone bull, pawing at the ground and bucking this way and that.

“Well, ma’am this is a working ranch and animal rescue in one. It will be noisy and smelly at times. This angry guy came to us just this morning and he is not very happy about it. He didn’t come with a name, so we get to pick one for him. We’ll get to know him first before that happens.” The bull charged toward the fence before turning away at the last second, terrifying Mindi who hid behind her new landlords. Sharon looked at her knowingly, “trusting that fence will do it’s job will take some time, but you’ll see it will keep him in.”

“Someone found him dumped in a field, locked inside a rusty trailer. We happened to have room for him, so we went and picked him up,” Jim explained.

Mindi looked at the bull with sympathy. She knew what it was like to be trapped and alone. Maybe she and this bull could heal together at Second Chance Ranch. It was the first thought of hope she had since she had started her trip of freedom from her old home in Tulsa. A smile tested the corners of her mouth. “Freedom Fighter,” she said. Jim and Sharon looked at each other and smiled. The bull and this lovely young woman had both joined their family that day. It was no coincidence and they knew God was up to a healing.

Mindi put her things in her new room and went out to sit in the rocking chair facing the mountains and horses. She looked up at the cloudless sky and noticed all of the stars that seems to each twinkle with hope. Her eyes glanced the settled down bull in the paddock, “Freedom Fighter,” she whispered aloud to herself.

For now, Mindi was safe. For now, Mindi was home. And Mindi had a new focus, being a freedom fighter and finding a home within herself.