Freedom

I year; a whole year. I chose him over me. I did everything for him and it left me empty handed. The day I, finally had enough, I called the cops. After forty five minutes of standing by the bus stop covered in bruises, the black and white beast turned into the apartment complex. They spoke to him as if he had the best citizenship award and obviously, he didn't mean to hurt me if he had. I cried buckets trying to be heard. Their eyes glossed over me as if I were merely tattle telling. Eventually, the officer nearest to me offered to take me to a shelter for my safety. I saw Chris's eyes darted me. His rage always felt like trying to fight the sun. I could f eel his burn from afar and quickly accepted the escape route. As I packed my things I could hear him trying to convince them to let me stay. Embarrassed, I almost stayed. He had a way of flustering my emotions. Confused, I looked at the wall. The wall was busted open with a hole the same shape as my head. My arms covered in his hand prints. Pain stomping down my body. The truth guided me out the apartment with a new found determination to never ever be a victim again. I didn't want my life to be a sob story of abuse and heart ache. I wanted happiness and adventure. All I had to do was create it.

The officers only spoke to me to ask if I was sure before we left the apartments. The shelter looked like a school on the outside. Complete with a cute playground and swing set. I walked through the doors and almost leaped in excitement to the front desk. An officer checked me in and before he disappeared into the night he said," be safe." As if being safe was ever in a woman's control. Still, I smiled politely as he tipped his head to me. The lady behind the desk smiled brightly at me.

"Welcome Home, love." she pulled me into a side hug. "My name is Mariah, if you need anything you can pick up any phone and dial four to get to me." I nodded close behind her as we shuffled down the hallway. "Also," she continued, " we have strict rules about curfew. If you miss twice you're out. curfew is at 10:30pm unless previously dismissed for work purposes. For that we would need to speak with the manager and have a copy of the schedule."

"Alrighty." I was already head over hills in love with the thought of time to myself too let a curfew bother me.

"No weapons, of course, and please turn the location on your phone off."

"For what?" I asked. That had caught me off guard.

"Well," She began as she ushered me into her office. I took a seat watching Mariah grab plenty of paperwork. "Some survivors here are 'high risk' I guess you can say, and your phone location service can most definitely be tracked." I eagerly started fidgeting for my settings. I knew he would restlessly search for me. Shamefully, in that moment I enjoyed the idea of him searching for me. Foolishly, comparing his love to that of Prince Florian. Florian was so determined to find his princess. Against all odds he was the one to wake sweet Snow White from her slumber.

"I just need to ask you a few questions and then sign some things," Mariah said interrupting my roaming mind. Firstly, I know it may be hard to talk about certain things, but I do promise to do everything in my power to make sure you are protected."

"Thank you."

"What is his or her name?" My body froze. I opened my mouth to answer the question but nothing came out. Tears crawled up my eyes and dared to dive down. The love I had for him wrapped up in the name his mother gave him. I cleared my throat.

"Chris Malcom," I exhaled.

"Congratulations, love you took the first step." My eyes leaked their joy and pain down my cheeks. Mariah smiled as she passed me a box of Kleenex. The relief of freedom was over whelming. I couldn't move. I just wept into the soiled Kleenex as Mariah cooed soothing words. My phone vibrated.

Plz come home bby Let me come get u

The text made my soul shiver. I could feel Mariah's heated gaze as I contemplated my options. Then, it was no secret I still loved him. Loved him more than I loved myself.

"The choice is yours to stay or go. I just want you to ask yourself one question. Would the fairytale be the same if the prince beat the hell out of the princess?" Silence fell between us before laughter spilled out of me. I put my phone away.

We finished the paperwork and Mariah decided to give me a tour. Rain was on duty at this point, as we walked the halls the sky blared at us like spotlights. Survivors smiled at us as we passed. Their faces oozing hope and strength. Lastly, my room was on the far end. Two twin sized beds and a big tv. Everything closets to the door already had items attached to them so I placed my bags by the window. The sky performed for m, melting my stress away. I was asleep against the window when my roommate came. The door swung open slamming against the wall. I jumped up surprisingly with a smile on my face.

"Hello, sorry to wake you so abruptly." She had what seemed to be an endless amount of bags and a screaming infant dangling from a car seat. I ran over to help her. "Thank you, sweetheart." She let out a breath of relief once her arms were free. "I'm Carey, nice to meet you, roomie."

"Rose nice to meet you as well," we shook hands. I felt a wave of happiness crash into my body. Carey who had become oblivious to me caring for her pretty little girl dressed in pink ruffles. I laid in my bed full of opportunity until I drifted back to sleep.

Three months had came and gone faster than a summer's breeze. I had gotten a job at the local grocer down the street. Sometimes I could feel a presence over my shoulder, but the therapist at the shelter told me it was a common symptom of post traumatic stress disorder. I suppose I chose to believe her to feel safe. After, 365 days of terror, I didn't want to loose that peace for nothing. I had completed a normal day of work. It was so normal I was lost in a different realm. A world were my biggest fear had simply dissolved in the past. I walked out the back door like always, since it was closer to my bus stop. I heard a car door shut but I didn't think nothing of it. Half way to the stop I was knocked unconscious. The pain rattled my body and I watched myself fall into darkness. No words. No closure. Just death. He slumped over my stiff body and kissed my cold lips.

"You left me!" he screamed onto dead ears. His tears splashing on my withering skin. I was dead. My killer over whelmed with his own love and obsession over me raised the gun to his own dead and blew his brains out. Debris splattered my old self and the concrete. I feared nothing. My existence felt everlasting. I felt my purpose beyond the gravitational pull of earth's atmosphere. I watched the earth's shadow crack beneath him. His new self screamed in agony as he was sucked into his damnation. I effortlessly floated pass the simple restrictions of human beings. My God's presence gripped me tight, blessing me with his protection. My heart over flowed with joy.

"Live!" God's voice blasted through my soul. My essence felt warm and prickly, as God wrapped his being around me. I could feel all the love I lacked for myself develop in his presence. I cried tears of joy. true happiness comes from within. I realized in my moments next to perfection that I did not need the love of another. My true father loved me immeasurably. The moment drifted into a haze, as heavy sleep trapped me.

I awoke in the hospital. A giant tube had been placed in my neck making it hard to breathe. Mariah was there she sprang into action when she noticed my limbs flailing about. She rushed the nurses in.

"Congratulations love you made it back." Her smile was genuine. She stood in the corner rubbing her hands together nervously. I tried to speak however, the pain changed my mind. Mariah grabbed my hand and kissed them. "You made it back," her voice cracked and I could see her wipe tears from her eyes. "Is there anyone you need me to call?" I shook my head no. One of the nurses brought me some water.

"Sip really slowly, ok." She starred me down to ensure comprehension. I giggled and instantly regretted it. "Be careful now. You're going to be in a lot of pain for a while." I nodded. I wanted to share how renewed my soul felt. How happy I was that my only obstacle in my life had uprooted itself. I noticed Mariah steady looking by the window. A police officer was waiting by my door. i looked back to Mariah catching her eye. I gave her a confused look hoping she would clarify the situation.

"Don't worry," Mariah's voice was almost frantic. My stomach dropped while her jaw clenched. "He will not get away with this. The police will find him." I stated to cry. My tears overflowed down my chest. My anxiety roared stunting my breathing. The nurse instantly sprang into action. My lungs felt brittle and collapsed under the stress. HE IS ALIVE! The fear engulfed me. I heard myself begin to wheeze when the needle punctured my thigh. Heavy sleep.