Grab the Lantern and Run

“What do you want to do with it? We can’t just leave this here.”

“What do you mean, what do we want to do with it? We’re calling the police!”

“Absolutely NOT. We do that and it’s all over. They’ll think it was us!”

“Well… well… why can’t we just leave it here?”

“Because the police already blame us for everything that goes wrong in this town. If they find this just sitting here…”

“We can explain… They can’t send us to prison for this.”

“Prison? You honestly think they will send us to prison? Bother with a trial?”

“That’s the law…”

“Nah, the sheriff will take the two of us and have a “little ride” to the back forty. Last anyone will ever see of us.”

“He can’t do that!?”

“They tried to pin that liquor store robbery on us when we were on vacation in another state five hundred miles away. WE had to provide the proof of our own innocence - receipts of credit card charges, photos of us on the beach… It took us six months to clear our names.”

“I remember.”

“Think about it… everything bad that ever happens here, WE are the number one suspects, until proven innocent. Every break in, theft, graffiti… blame it on us. When old Farmer Mike’s dog was run over, they questioned us first, even though Farmer Mike swore up and down it was his neighbor that did it. When Mrs. Brown was found beaten to death in her home and all the valuables taken, they arrested us. Only let us go when they picked up the husband. He was making a run for the state line with his mistress and still had his bloody shirt in a trash bag. Idiot.”

“But it we just explain…”

“No, we bury this.”

“There’s no going back from that!”

“No one’s going to find it all the way out here. No one’s going to find out if we keep our mouths shut! Namely you.”

“But…”

“But nothing. Hand me a shovel and start digging too.”

“Okay, but I mean, this place is so remote. You said it yourself - no one will find it out here.”

“Yeah, if it’s buried. They will if it is just sitting out here in the open…”

“How? How will they find it?”

“Did Mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?”

“NO… you’re an asshole.”

“You see those power lines?”

“Yeah, I’m not blind.”

“No, just stupid. They fly helicopters over them to inspect them.”

“But they will see this pile of dirt and rocks…”

“There are tons of piles of dirt and rocks around here. It will look like all the rest of them.”

“Okay…wait”

“Wait what?”

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“That clank when my shovel hit the dirt.”

“It’s nothing, it’s just a rock.”

“It’s NOT a rock.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake…. Move over.”

“See… right there, right there. What is that?”

“I don’t see anything.”

“Adjust the light…. see… there. Just brush some dirt away.”

“... Oh, God… We need to leave this minute.”

“But you just said…”

“You see what that is now, don’t you?”

“I do but…”

“That’s worse than anything we have EVER been accused of. If we unearth that... We need to leave NOW!”

“BUT… wait the shovels…”

“Forget the shovels! Grab the lantern and RUN!”