For the love of a kiss

Not wanting to lose control, she tries to force a sense of calmness upon herself, breathing deeply and slowly as he packs the last of his belongings. Five years, she thinks, is a significant amount of time to be in someone's life. She has pleaded for days now, to try and get him to listen but to no avail.

“You would be as well taking your Christmas gifts, if you are really going…” placing them near his case.

“Do I look like I am pretending, Jessica? He shrugs heavily, then frowning he adds “Give them to charity, please”

She feels a deep sadness descending. She nearly didn’t go to the Christmas night out but changed her mind. Ben’s friend happened to be in the same club, where he had witnessed her kissing someone, which she barely remembers. The guy was a colleague and it literally meant nothing but Ben was more than furious.

She peers from the bedroom window as he stuffs his suitcase in the boot and sets off. Her phone rings and she ignores it.

With hot tears flowing she stares at the gifts and imagines someone else opening them on Christmas morning but it feels all wrong - his favourite scent, his preferred chocolates and membership to the local luxury gym group. It would be fair to say she had been besotted with Ben, meeting him in the local library, they had laughed together when she commented, after he smiled at her.

“I thought everyone read their books online or had audio ones?” She looks at the pile of books he had collated.

“Ah, ha but these are not for me, I’m under strict instruction by my mother, who will be waiting at home with her magnifying glass at the ready”

“Sweet, well these are for me, I just never caught on to the ‘kindle’ thing, for me it’s the scent of the books - my room is like an old book shop”

“I don’t want to be forward, but fancy a coffee, at the coffee shop round the corner?” he indicates with his hand.

“Could do, yes, that would be great” Jessica responds.

Ten minutes later they are sitting comfortably with chilled lattes.

“I am Ben, by the way”

“I’m Jessica, quite new here in this town, I’m studying for a Masters and work part time at the museum”

“Interesting! I’m in I.T. and work from home - not as easy as it sounds” Slurping his latte.

“Don’t you feel tempted to have a cat? I imagine a feline friend would be good company during the day”

“Oh, I have Panther, she is lovely, the noise of her purring could nearly send me to sleep”

And so began the relationship between them and after six months, her, Ben and Panther had a very cosy living situation. There had been a couple of times when he had acted possessively or acted jealous but it was not a regular occurrence.

She wipes her tears and checks her phone. It was Marc, from the night out. She reads the text - sorry about last week, it’s my fault, I took advantage, made the move, so sorry….

Throwing the phone lightly on the bed and feeling very exasperated, she starts to move her clothes in the wardrobe taking up the space that was now vacant. She would plead no more, she decides. She would miss Panther too but being strong for herself was the priority. She suspected he would be at his mother’s home but she would resist going round.

She would face Marc at the museum in two days time, she would give her notice and job hunt in preparation of her graduation. The tutor had told her that Glasgow and London had some openings. She hears a noise and is surprised that Panther struts through. She places her in the cat cage, drives over to Ben’s mum’s and just guides her through the cat flap where she would have Dipsy for company.

She wakes the next day and feels warm, the bed is spacious and she has a text from Ben.

Maybe I acted hastily? She responds No, fair’s fair! Then proceeds to delete everything connected with him. She messages her tutor to find out more about opportunities in Glasgow. Opening her window for a fresh gust of air, she smiles and looks toward her next stage of life.