Fenella's Christmas Wish

FENELLA’S CHRISTMAS WISH

CHAPTER ONE

Whenever the congregation of St. Mercersburg Church sang hymns, the church seemed to be lifted into another realm where only happiness existed. The ambience of a supernatural dominion was felt by the parishioners, and excitement filled the hall leaving no one behind.

Cecil Allen was not certain what his feeling was, but he liked it. He was young; a well fed toddler with good looks that was acknowledged and admired by all. Every Sunday, when they were in church and had just sang the hymns, it was the sight of one person that really peaked his delight.

He could not explain what it was he felt within him when he sighted his target, but every time he looked, he liked her pretty face. Her face had even become his imagination of angels. Cupids who visited his dream had her look on them, with tiny wings.

She was a toddler like him, but she had such adorable face that was only imaginable. But unlike her, his angels had wings with which they flew in the air. She was never floating; she was always in the second pew to his right, singing from her hymn with just as much enthusiasm as everyone else in the cathedral.

As soon as they had sung the hymns, his gaze traveled restlessly towards her again. What he liked most of all was the fact that he often caught her staring at him too. Hers was usually the shy stare of a fellow toddler who was not certain she wanted to be friends with her onlooker.

It had been that way since he could remember, because the girl always sat in the same position, and he too always sat where he was seated beside his parents. From where they were seated, they could both look at each other in one simple, imperceptible glance.

When he turned thirteen, Cecil summoned courage after service and walked up to her, while their parents, together with several other parents wandered around the cathedral premise to exchange pleasantries.

“Good afternoon Ms. Cooper?” Cecil said timidly.

“Hello.” Her timid face wrung up in a shy smile. If she was surprised that he approached her, she did well in not showing it.

It was their first conversation, but it meant a lot to both of them, especially since they had both being in the gathering of other kids without specifically saying anything to each other.

As he stood close to her, he could see her face better. She was even more beautiful than she always looked from that distance.

He was reluctant, after she replied him. He had not thought his actions through; he had not even considered what action he would come up with next once she replied.

“You are very beautiful.” He found himself confessing.

She chuckled at him. What could he possibly know about being beautiful? At this age anyway. “Mama always says people are beautiful when they are young. As we grow, my face would either taut, stretch or crinkle up and I would become an ugly lass.”

“That’s cruel.” He had replied, “I believe you will always be beautiful.”

“Thank you for the faith in me. I feel very confident in your words.” Her sarcasm was apparent.

“No.” he insisted, “I am serious. And do you know what?”

She looked at him, they seemed to be spending much time than necessary. Their parents could be anywhere searching for them. She imagined what her parents would feel if they walked up to her to notice she was talking to a boy.

“What?” she asked hastily.

“I’d love to marry you when we are old enough.”

“What?” She asked comically. And when she could no longer hold the laugh to herself, she shook her head to shake it off, “You know there is a process for matters like this? There is a life ahead of us, and we shall still meet many people in our lives. That is what mama always says anyway.”

He was immediately sober, but she held his hands and smiled. “If you by any chance become a physician thought, then I might gladly consider your proposal in future.”

His face lit with delight. “Are you certain?”

“Most certain.” She nodded firmly.

He was now staring at her with the most thoughtful look in his face. In that moment, he was certain that he would do everything he could to make that dream come true. He wished becoming a physician could be achieved in a day, even if it meant carrying the entire world on his shoulder, he would do it right in that instance. Being a physician however required several stages in his life, and he could swear he would endure it all and be one.

“Cecil!” the voice of his mother cried out from the entrance of the cathedral.

“Ms. Cooper, please do not forget your promise, I shall come for you once I become a physician.” He said finally.

She nodded at him and walked off to join her parents. She would not want them coming to pull her away themselves.

Cecil watched with keen interest, the lady disappearing before his face. Nothing else mattered to him in that instance but her. He gave no credence to the fact that his mother was more frantic in getting his attention now and his father too had joined in in calling his name.

“Here you are!” his mother finally said as she drew close to him.

As he turned around and followed his parents, he would not know that was the last time he would see little Ms. Cooper in the cathedral.

CHAPTER TWO

11 Years Later

As the hackney jolted the travelers up and down the rickety path to London, Fenella remained unperturbed by the disturbance. She was even hardly aware of the jerky movements.

It was an inconsequential matter that rattled the walls of her heart. A matter that seemed so minute it should have been forgotten several years ago. But it did disturb her, and the flames of the fire she had deliberated attempted to truncate before she left London came back alive.

She had thought Bath would bring all the promises with it when her parents told her that it would be a good idea to go live with her grandmother in the South. That had happened quite suddenly, with little to no time to gather her things.

“Bath?” she had protested, “But mama, I need to inform my friends.”

“You would have many new friends in Bath, you would not need those here.” Her mother had informed her.

“But mother, I need to tell you if I am interested in this plan or not. You have not even given me the time to think this through.” Fenella protested.

“You would be gone for a long time dear,” her father chirped in, “You need not bother about the preparations you make before leaving. And trust me, your mother and I know what is best for you.”

“It does not appear so.” Fenella didn’t hide her feelings. She had always known that her parents liked their parents more than they liked her, and in that same unusual manner, her grandmother also loved her more than her parents did. Fen was not a fan of the pattern and so she protested by liking herself only.

“Grandma is sick, you know she needs a family member to take care of her.” her mother said.

“And you know who her favorite is?” Her father teased.

“I am just a child.” Fen protested.

The following silence of her parents made it apparent that the discussion was fated already, Fen could not raise further objections. She spent the few hours left to leave London sulking, like a child whose parents had deserted.

Perhaps it was the haste of the arrangement that made her refuse to give herself to the life at Bath. She lived in the town with her body only, while her spirit remained in a cottage in London, where her parents could not find it.

Fen spent most of the days attending to her grandmother; she worked closely with the physician who revealed the many mysteries of Bath water to her. The healing process of the water was something that thrilled her to no end, but she was still angry at her sudden abduction by fate.

“It is apparent you do not want to be here.” Grandmother had said once. “I can have you go back to your parents if you insist; I need you to be in concord with me through this, it is important for my health improvement.”

That day, guilt tore Fen’s heart in shreds, and left her hating herself for not showing the love required by her grandmother.

“I will remain here with you grandma.” Fen confessed, to the delight of the dying woman.

“I shall tell you a little secret. But do not tell anyone you heard this from me.” Grandmother said.

Fen leaned back in the small chair in the cottage. “I am smitten by curiosity.”

“The woman you call mother is not your real mother, your mother died after she bore you. Your father had to marry your step mother because it is not an easy thing for a man to be alone, especially with a child.” As the words tumbled out of the sick old woman’s mouth, Fen was gripped by the realization. She should have thought about it. She spent weeks thinking about that and adjusting to the reality.

When many years after her healing, Grandmother decided to remain in Bath, Fen chose to remain there with her. Fen’s spirit too joined her in Bath, but it regularly returned during the nights.

***

Now Fenella was returning to the town she cherished - London. Her return had taken a similar dramatic turn as her arrival.

“You are old enough my dear, but you do not give credence to the men around here. A lass has but only a very limited time.”

“I am in no hurry grandmother,” she had replied. But the old woman would hear nothing of it. Her fear was that the lass would not yield to the attraction and attention of the men in Bath.

“I do not know why you wish to remain here without the attention of many men, but I agree that you can only get the choice men in London.” Grandma suggested.

“I do not wish to leave you grandmother.” Fen insisted. The old woman would have nothing of it. She insisted like Fen’s parent, that the lady returned to London.

Despite everything that happened to her through the years, she could not think of what she was leaving behind in Bath, except perhaps the love she and her grandmother had exchanged.

Even her fond memories of London became meaningless. She knew she could not get back the days she missed London. But London would come with new adventures and of course, a man of honor who would recognize her and propose to her.

The child in Fenella remembered her long time promise. The same promise that she had thought about when her parents told her that she would be on the way to Bath in a few hours. When she first arrived in Bath, it was this promise that made her chuckle, every night before bed.

It was her promise to Cecil Allen; a young boy at the London church. Although she had made that promise as a child who was not certain what she was saying, she knew that if she were to break the promise, she was supposed to do it with the boy who she had made it to.

Every day in Bath, Fen imagined what Cecil Allen would have made of that promise. Perhaps he would have outgrown his childish passion. Perhaps he would have even ignored it entirely. Worse of her thoughts was that he may be happily married.

“We would be in London soon.” The lady who was seated beside Fen informed, she had introduced herself as Cynthia.

“Oh thanks.” Fen acknowledged, “I can hardly recognize this route. It has really been a long time.”

“I travel here every year.” Cynthia said. “This time though, I shall be residing permanently, I have been assigned here now as an assistant to a physician.”

“Good thing, that.” Fenella replied conclusively. It was mere excitement that had prompted Cynthia to speak to her, she must have known that Fen was not in the mood for talking.

In the depth of Fenella’s heart, she hoped that Cecil kept on with his promise, if he still loved her as much as he had claimed, then she would say a convincing yes, if he proposed marriage to her.

That was her tiny wish, and it seemed to harbor no blemish, except that Fenella did not know if Cecil was a kind of man that she would desire now. Years had passed, and so that little man in him might have been long gone. Who knew if he was now ruthless bloke?

CHAPTER THREE

Fen was not very surprised to see that she was almost unwelcomed in her parents’ home. All those years though, she had somehow imagined that for the sake of the bond she shared with her father, her parents would have forgiven her and lived her. In absolute contrast, it was all pretentious love and care that she was presented when she arrived.

“I am truly delighted to see you home my dear.” Mrs. Merlyn Cooper said, ignorant still of the fact that fen knew she wasn’t her mother.

“I see that.” Fen replied, and she walked to the five year old boy who was standing behind Merlyn and peeking at her.

“Stop fooling around Peter, Fenella is your sister.” Merlyn said.

The timid boy walked carefully to Fen and shook her hands. “Hello sister.”

“Hello Peter. I have something for you.” Fen reached into her bag and she retrieved a small parcel for the little boy.

He was delighted as he received and he ran up to his mother. William Cooper, Fen’s father arrived later that evening.

“Who is the prettiest daughter in the world?” He said as he walked into Fenella’s room.

“Papa” Fen could not hold her joy.

After they had overcome the excitement, he sat beside her on the bed and began to speak from his heart.

“My dear, your grannie told me about how reluctant you were to mingle with the men at Bath. I would have written to encourage you but ’tis late now. There are good men everywhere, just as there are miscreants everywhere too, you would do yourself a great disservice to assume that all men in Mayfair are good.”

“Papa, I did not find the kind of man I desire in Bath. Grandmother herself did not want me in the circles of the men there. She encouraged me to come here.” She replied.

“Good then, we shall have you prepared for a grand debut.” He promised.

Fen smiled. “My deepest appreciation, papa.”

When he left her room, she felt the resounding loneliness, and she realized that people did not only marry because they had reached the age to marry, they also married to create a reliable companion when life was getting lonely.

She thought about Cecil, cooed up in his bed and thinking the same thoughts as her, and then she concluded that he would have probably been married. She knew she should shake off thoughts about him if she truly believed that he had been married; they had only made a childish confession towards each other. It even seemed unfair of her to hold onto the little thread of hope that had.

However, Fen satisfied herself with the reality; she was now in Mayfair, and when she attended St. Mercersburg Church the following Sunday, she would find out about Cecil.

***

The December breeze was cold, and it whirled around the house in a manner that Merlyn now felt.

She looked at the mantle and identified the need to lodge fresh logs in the fire. Before she began to move in the direction of her discovery, she looked around the drawing room in search of her son.

Merlyn only wanted to make sure the boy was well girdled for the cold, but when he did not see him, her fear began to rise.

“Peter!” She called out. Something in Merlyn was convinced that her step-grandmother had already revealed the secret to Fenella. Even if the older woman had not done that, it would have been an open secret now. Merlyn now had her own child, and anyone who observed the way she cared for him would instantly know that Fen was not her biological child.

Her fear however, was that Fen had abducted her son as a bid to take vengeance on her for her treatment.

Not hearing Peter’s childish yell, Merlyn began to ascend the staircase frantically toward Fen’s room. “Peter!” She called out louder.

As soon as she arrived at the top of the staircase, she saw the boy in the distance, standing at the entrance of Fen’s open room.

Peter was looking befuddled. He was staring at something in the room, and he seemed too shocked to say anything about it. Merlyn hurried to meet him there. Her first thought was that Fen had committed suicide.

“Mama, look!” the boy ignored her mother’s distress as she came over him and wrapped him in her motherly embrace.

Merlyn exhaled hard and then she looked in the direction of her son’s outstretched finger.

Peter was pointing at Fen who had black spots all over her skin. Even she was too shocked to see the spots. Fen was examining herself when Merlyn stared at her.

“Peter? Have you had any contact with your Fen… your sister?”

“No.” Fenella replied herself, embarrassed by the manner in which the mother naturally defended her son. “I did not let him.”

“Thanks Fen. Now Peter, go back to the drawing room.” Peter grumbled and ambled off. Merlyn turned to Fen to express her concerns, but she stood at the door way to maintain a safe distance. “You have the Pox or something like it, I cannot tell, I shall inform your father at once.”

When Merlyn left Fen’s room, she was careful enough to shut the door close. Fenella felt bad. It was Saturday and she was supposed to see Cecil the following day.

How did this happen? She wondered bitterly, in less than a week of my arrival.

CHAPTER FOUR

Cecil gathered his bag and called on his assistant. He was not very certain the assistant was up to the task, but they had only worked together a few days and he could identify the zeal in her.

“Thank you for this opportunity Sir.” She said as they hopped into the carriage before him.

“You need not mention that again. It is not within my power to decide who works with me.” He replied.

Soon however, as the wheel of the carriage rolled toward their destination, he would find out that he was with a talkative burden as partner.

“If I may ask sir, why did you choose this profession?” Cecil inquired; “You seem quite dedicated to this occupation.”

The loquaciousness of his assistant made him miss the brief moments he had worked without an assistant. He had intentions to ignore her in subsequent times. This shunning will make her understand that it was unethical to speak too much when one was working on the life of a patient.

The question she had asked however, was one he was always eager to respond to whenever he was asked. When he stated the profession, he was always fond of telling even people who were not interested in hearing it. With time, he cautioned himself to only speak about this when he was asked. The story had motivated a few people too.

“I was in love as a toddler, and the lady I wished to marry told me she would only marry a physician, so I pursued the profession with all determination.” He replied.

She chuckled. “That’s an interesting reason to save lives. And yet, you are unmarried to her.”

“She left town the day after I promised to fulfil her wish.” Cecil said.

“And she has not been back ever since then?”

“I have come to the conclusion that she is never coming back.”

The rest of the journey was spent in silence and Cecil could not have been more appreciative of his partner.

They finally arrived at the house of Lord Stark; the Earl of Darrin who needed the attention. Stark had caught a severe cold and was afraid he would lose his life from the cold.

“I want to enjoy this Christmas season, not with this awful cold.” Lord Stark said. He would have said more if his speech had not been cut short by his failing lungs.

“You will be fine shortly sir.” Cecil assured. The earl would enjoy Christmas when he was done, but the cold season was usually the busiest for a man in his field.

A few hours after, they left the house in a happier state than they had arrived. Lord Stark was certain that he was not going to die before Christmas, and his gratitude was endless. Cecil however, was more particular about the earl keeping up with the medicines he had prescribed.

The physician and his assistant went back to their carriage, and began to wheel to their next destination.

“We are healers,” Cynthia remarked, “we are not meant to enjoy the yuletide season.”

“That is the way it is,” replied Cecil, “as long as someone out there is taken ill, we shall have to intervene.”

***

Fenella seemed lifeless on the bed, as she thought about her Christmas wish. Only her heaving chest revealed the evidence of life in her. Her body was worse than she liked to imagine. The moment she peeked into the mirror and saw the spots on her body, she whirled herself back to bed and sank into the sheets.

She had perfected the picture in her head shortly before she came to Mayfair. She couldn’t even wait until Sunday to check on Cecil and make sure he was still that charming boy.

She recalled her response to him on the day they spoke to each other. She could remember her words verbatim. It seemed now that her comment had come back at her. While coming to London, she had stared at herself in the mirror and convinced herself that she was still as beautiful as she had been when she left. Now, the reality was completely different.

Someone knocked against the door, and Fen’s eyelids fluttered open. It was her father.

“My dear, the physician is here.”

“Stay at a distance father. We do not know what this is and I do not want you to contract it from me.” Fen said. Her words stopped her father in his tracks. He nodded and retreated cautiously.

“Kindly let the physician in.” Fen said.

Cynthia’s face was the first that confronted Fen when the physicians walked in.

“Cynthia.” A smile parted Fen’s lips. “We meet again.”

“I am most delighted to see you.” Cynthia replied.

“I imagine that I am in a bad shape, but then again, I know in your line of work, you come across such sights.”

“We do see much more terrible situations.” Cecil said as he walked beside Fen with a broad smile.

“Ce-cil A-llen?” Fen stuttered.

“You are very correct! Ms. Cooper.” Cecil replied and his smile intensified. “When I heard one of the Coopers was sick, I could not believe it was you.”

Fen could not hold back the tears that fell off her eyes. This was apparently not the circumstance in which she would have loved to meet Cecil, but nature had its way of unfolding events. And she felt so satisfied just to see him in the manner he was.

“And to imagine you eventually turned out to be a physician. Quite rare to see young physicians these days, those I know at Bath are old men.” Fen said regretfully. She had said two things that day; that Cecil could be a healer and that she would lose her beauty. Both predictions had come to fulfilment. She liked the former, but the latter was what she wished she could retract.

“So tell me what your body feels.” Cecil began. With his assistant, they examined the illness.

CHAPTER FIVE

And so, Fenella Cooper could not say for certain that she had her Christmas wish fulfilled. For one thing because it was not Christmas yet and for the other because at least two of the things she had predicted as a child were being fulfilled.

Her body was restored to perfection three days after the physician’s visit. All attempt to keep the conversation going during their first encounter after she returned from Bath, was thwarted by Cecil. He told her calmly to quit bringing up personal issues, as there would be enough time to talk about it all when she was back to perfection.

He sent his assistant to check on her the following day after her illness.

“As you can see, I have greatly improved.” Fen informed Cynthia.

“I am truly glad to see that.” Cynthia had said.

“I’ve been meaning to say something earlier.” Fen said moments after they had moved from health talks.

“I realize how rude I must have been on the journey to London.”

Cynthia was startled at the confession; “I took no note of an insolent sign from you.”

“I’m glad to hear that, and I am glad I apologized too.”

“Great.”

“Most of all, I am happy that I have quickly been restored back to health. Illnesses are very terrible conditions.”

“That’s why we always have the physicians there for us.” Cynthia smiled.

Fen would have loved to ask about Cecil’s state from his partner, but that would make her look too forward and desperate, especially for a lady who she had blatantly ignored while they journeyed through a long distance together.

“Mr. Allen would be visiting you on the morrow to ensure that all remains well.” Cynthia said as she departed.

The mere mention of his name made Fenella shiver with delight; she would hardly bat an eyelid while she waited patiently for his arrival.

On her bed that night, Fen felt satisfied. Seeing that Cecil stayed along the path she had recommended to him meant a lot to her. She understood that he might now be happily married. She did not bother asking him about it so as not to sound desperate, but he had every freedom to do whatever he considered right.

Cecil was still as charming as she had known him to be. And while he tried to adhere strictly to the business that had brought him to her house, he still made it known to her that she was still as beautiful as she had been as a toddler.

Fenella would not trust that though, in their line of work, they were taught to make patients feel good, and that probably was what he was doing with her.

He did not make mention of her sudden disappearance, and neither did he request an explanation for it. He simply played along.

Cecil eventually visited the Cooper on Christmas Eve. He was invited to the drawing room, where the patient who was now completely healed was seated playing the pianoforte.

“Are you not celebrating Christmas sir?” Peter asked, as soon as he recognized the man.

“We are physicians, we do not have holidays.” Cecil replied the kid. He had knelt on one knee to be Peter’s height.

When Fen looked around and saw that the man had noticed how well she played the pianoforte, she smiled satisfactorily to herself.

“Now, may you tell me why you became a physician?” Fen asked quietly, when it was only her and Cecil in the drawing room.

“Of all people in the world, you are the last person I would have expected to make such inquiry from me.”

“And by that, you mean I already know?” she asked further.

“Of course you do.” He replied.

“I am sorry I never told you I was leaving town, my parents -”

“You need not explain Ms. Cooper. I have forgiven you. I have imagined several reasons, but I believe it was not a deliberate act targeted at ignoring me.”

Fenella was so smitten by his words that she did not know when two tears scorched down her eyes. “I think it is rare to see a man keep a promise for such a long period.”

“As you can see, I did.” He replied boldly, “And I also told you that your beauty would last forever.”

“And I disagreed -”

“But it has also turned out true, has it not?”

Fen’s tears dried up and her face glowered with delight.

After a short pause that had them staring into each other’s eyes, he spoke; “I know I made you promise me, but as far as I am now concerned, such promises were for our toddler mindset. I am sincerely in love with you, and without attaching yourself to our childish promise, I would like you to be mine forever.”

Fen closed her eyes to stop tears from flowing. They were tears of joy anyway. But they were the indications that her wish had come true on a platter of gold.

But did he say he didn’t want her to consent to him simply because of her old promise? That struck her as being creative, and she knew she had to come up with a creative idea too.

“Mr. Cecil Allen. I deeply appreciate you for relieving me of my old promise. I have come back to town simply because of my desperate bid to see the fulfilment of this promise. And everything has played out just the way I want it to, but now that you have relieved me of the promise, I shall need some time to know you better and think outside the promise.”

Fenella prepared her mind to watch the shattering of the physician’s face as she delivered the news, but at the end of her long speech, nothing changed.

He simply smiled and nodded, a way to acknowledge her wits and he delivered his next words excellently; “You have all the time in the world to make your decision. I love you and that will continue till eternity.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Allen.”

“Merry Christmas Ms. Cooper!”

THE END