Feeling Human part eleven

I get up and take a shower, brush my hair and brush my teeth. I put on clean clothes and spray a bit of cologne on too, even though I’m clean.

I go out, and shake off my nerves. No more crying. No more whining, time to put it all on the line.

I’m going to tell him how I feel.

Bender. I’m going to tell him tonight.

I go out and find a store that’s open, and find a bouquet of flowers that most closely represents him, and then, I see it!

Daffodils!

Oh, yes, that’s perfect!

One of Bender’s most used phrases is, “Hot diggity daffodil!” After all.

I add a few roses to the bouquet and pay up front.

“Lucky lady!” The cashier says.

I frown. “It’s not a lady.”

The cashier’s eyes widen, “Alien?”

I shook my head. “Robot… I mean…” I clear my throat, “This… just this guy.”

The cashier blinks and nods. “Hmm. Whatever makes you happy, bud!” And I smile weakly, paying quickly and leaving quickly, too.

I told myself the worst he’ll say is no, and then if it is a no, at least I’ll know.

But, still, it’s hitting me so crazy—-thinking about him this way, and I feel ready to throw up.

The very thought of being in his arms, of him holding me, it makes me grin and feel so happy.

And the thought of kissing him? I feel weak in the knees.

I go back and that’s when I see him.

He’s out with Leela and Amy, and he looks so adorable—-God! He’s so cute!

And I feel like an idiot.

I’m holding flowers and Leela sees me first. Oh my goodness! She’ll think the flowers are for her! Damn…

And once I tell her they aren’t for her … that’s mean.

Bender notices me too and hides behind Amy, and Leela yells, “Hey, Fry!”

I want to just disappear!

They catch up to me and I hide the flowers behind my back, feeling my face heat up.

“Oh hey, Leel’s… Amy…” I bite my lower lip. “Bender?”

Bender suddenly comes into view and laughs haughtily, “Haha, hey, buddy! How’s everything?” He clears his throat. “Sorry ‘bout earlier! Wanna hang out?”

I nod. “Yeah. What were you all up to?”

Leela laughs nervously, “Well, we… well, Amy and I went to this bar and Bender happened to run into us,” she smiles in this fake way, and I laugh with her, trying to not feel like this is the most awkward thing ever.

“We talked and stuff, had a few drinks..” Amy continued to explain.

“Yes, and these girls bored me to tears! Hahahaha … erhmm…. Yeah,” he coughs, and Leela looks at Bender in a disappointed glance.

“Mean! You’re so mean, Bender!” Amy admonished, and playfully hit Bender on the arm.

“Ow!” Bender yelped but then grinned, “So.. Fry, what you got behind your back? A burrito?”

I nodded. “Yup. And it’s getting cold! Gotta run!” I start walking backward and Leela walks over and sees the flowers.

“Aww! That’s not a burrito! It’s.., flowers?” Leela questions, and I look away from her.

“For who?” Amy blurts out and Leela shushes her, taking her by the arm.

“Amy and I….are going to go… unless you want to say something to us… me…” Leela gives me this almost sweet look and I frown. She must think the flowers are for her.

Bender is quiet, and stepping back a bit, and our eyes lock into this tight, affectionate gaze. It makes my throat tighten and I freeze for a moment, then freak out. It’s too much to deal with.

My two crushes standing next to each other, asking and waiting on me to answer about some flowers!!

“Umm… I gotta go!” I yell and start walking off, feeling my heart racing.

Damn this sucks.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder.

Who is it?

I can’t look.

I keep running.

Maybe if I run fast enough, I won’t have to hurt anyone.