Erased

“If anyone finds this…there’s nothing left here.”

A grimy finger paused the old school tape recorder. Hands, once well-manicured and soft, reached up to a gaunt face and tucked greasy hair behind an ear. The Woman, who in the Before was successful and well-composed, was now filthy and tired.

Exhausted.

She rubbed her temples and expelled a sharp breath through her nose. Hitting ‘record’ once more, she continued.

“Two months ago, the world went dark. ‘Cosmic Interference.’ That’s what the government told us. ‘Should be over in a few days…’ Few days passed, nothing changed. Those government officials were never heard from again. Probably just told us a lie so they could scramble to their bunkers while the rest of us have to suffer through this bullshit.

“The riots started days later. Looting. Everyone gathering what they could to survive. I was stupid enough to think I could wait it out. Held on to hope that one morning I’d just wake up, the sun’ll be out, and it was all a really bad fever dream.

“Ate the last of my food reserves yesterday. Everyone else in the apartment building is gone, far as I know. Unsure of how much longer the power grid is going to stay alive. The lights have been flickering more and more. Even the streetlamps look dimmer now. I’ve got a few battery packs, a tiny pocket flashlight, and whatever charge I can get out of my cellphone.

“I… I don’t know where I’m going. I can’t stay here.”

With a click, The Woman stopped the recording. She looked around at the place she called home. Pictures of family and friends. Trinkets from places traveled. Memories from the Before. Hopelessness settled in her soul like the dampness in a neglected basement.

It was inevitable. She had to leave everything she knew in Washington.

Her only protection for the journey was a single kitchen knife that could’ve used a good sharpening the year prior. A go-bag stuffed with a spare change of clothes, the dulled knife, batteries, the phone charger, and whatever toiletries she had left had been sitting in the corner for the past week. With quiet resolve, The Woman slung the bag over her shoulders and tightened the straps. In her hands she held the pocket flashlight and the voice recorder. She opened her heavyset front door and set out to an unknown destination.

The apartment complex had never been so quiet. The elevator, which didn’t even work in the Before sat with a new, eerie silence. She remembered how she used to hear footsteps at all hours; the hustle and bustle never died down as life in the Before went marching on. Now the halls were empty, and the only sound came from the occasional squeak from The Woman’s sneakers. In the silence, the sound ricocheted off the walls like cannon fire.

People hadn’t been through the apartment building in weeks. One of the last occupants to leave had been her neighbors across the hall. An older couple, they had given her a key to their apartment and whatever was left in it. They said they were going to try to make their way to a friend’s farm in Oregon. She had wished them luck, and when the time felt appropriate, she entered the apartment. It was in their home she had found the old recorder and spare batteries. They hadn't left a lot behind. Dust patterns were left behind where picture frames and likely other sentimentals once stood. She knew there was no reason to take memories with you – it would only make the Now hurt worse.

Only a few lights were left in the stairwells. Most had been broken out or stolen. The few left flickered off and on as if they, too, were deciding on whether to leave as well. As The Woman descended the last flight of stairs and walked into the lobby, she saw remnants of a warzone. The dim light of a wayward lightbulb revealed blood spatter, bullet casings, and broken glass that littered the floor. The Woman knew there had been looting and disruption around the area... But this view was surreal. If she had anything on her stomach, it would’ve come up right there.

Eyes focused only on what was ahead, she crossed over to the lobby desk and placed the cassette recorder on top next to a plastic plant. Grabbing a post-it note from behind the countertop, she scratched ‘Listen to me’ on the paper and stuck it to the recorder. If anyone cared to listen to it, they’d gather all the information she had - what little of it there was.

Turning to the exit, her eyes skated across a thick streak of blood leading out the front door. Without seeing it, The Woman knew what was on the other side. Taking in a deep breath to steady her nerves, she eased open the door to the outside. One out of four security lights was still working and cast a yellow haze on the parking lot. Not too far off, at the end of the bloody trail, laid an unmoving body. A young, blonde woman, though her light hair was stained by the pool of red underneath her.

The Woman had seen her around a few times in the Before. In simple passing, sharing no more than a nod or a soft ‘Hey.' Glinting around her neck was a small, golden heart-shaped locket. The trinket was somehow impervious to the gore surrounding the girl it was attached to.

The Woman could only imagine the pictures inside, making her heart feel heavy. Was the locket a gift from a spouse? A dear friend? Could it have held precious memories of a child? Every question of its reasoning for being around the girl’s neck made her own outlook sink deeper and deeper into her chest.

For a moment, The Woman thought about burying her. She hated the thought of leaving the girl out in the open, but there wasn’t anywhere in urban Seattle that she could bury a body. Instead, she decided to take the locket and maybe, one day, return it to the young woman’s family. Maybe this was the thing that kept her going. Sparing one last glance, The Woman left her familiar stranger behind and carried on her aimless journey.

Cars were crammed, lifeless, on the streets. A cemetery of automobiles, The Woman mused. The only way anyone was to leave at this point was by foot. Any illumination was provided by dim streetlights and the occasional car fire. Opting to save batteries, The Woman stuck to the streetlights without her flashlight.

Even in the middle of the downfall of civilization, Seattle seemed loud. The constant rustling of debris and leaves on the sidewalks, the thick breeze blowing, echoing through the city. It was a new, unwelcome noise that made her uneasy in a place that used to bring serenity. Despite the noise, there was no one there - at least no one that would show themselves. The Woman felt like the last soul in the city. Perhaps she was.

No one was expecting the world to end this way. Most thought nuclear fallout, giant meteor, World War III, hell, even an alien invasion. Easily succumbing to total darkness? Wasn’t on the table.

‘Not with a bang, but a whimper.’

The Woman couldn’t remember where the quote had come from, but it continued to rattle around in her brain as she walked. For the world to be engulfed in darkness, it wasn’t anything like The Woman expected. No neo-ice age was enveloping the earth. Plants were still thriving. As far as she knew, the earth hadn’t been flung out into deep space. It was as if everything was exactly as it was in the Before, but perpetual night. With no stars, or satellites, or all the other things up there that made life on earth significantly more convenient. Oh, how she missed the internet.

Minutes felt like hours as time ticked by. The Woman still marched onward, ever vigilant in her task to leave her home. Though it was heavy-hearted, the further she got the lighter her feet felt. Her destinationless destination didn't seem insurmountable anymore. Even in the darkness.

Lit street lamps were less and less frequent. The further out from Seattle she got, the less of everything there was. It was quieter, darker, stiffer. Somehow, though, easier.

With a click The Woman turned on her flashlight. For something so small, it had a powerful beam. Hopefully the batteries would last her until she found shelter. Or someone. Anyone. The loneliness in the past months had been crippling. As if a hand had reached into the very depths of her soul, and plucked out integral pieces, leaving part of a whole person behind. Before, she had never bought into socialization as being essential for life. Now, she knew better.

Curiosity settled in as The Woman could almost physically feel the loss of companionship. Though somehow she couldn't remember who it was she had lost. Memories replayed with static - unclear and only partial. Names, relationships, circumstances, all completely omitted from her mind. Hunger must've affected her in more ways than just physically.

The flashlight was dimming in her hand. Had she already used all the batteries?

What was this locket in her hand?

Time blended together. No longer was there the Before, or the Now, or even a Future. The Woman had walked, is walking, and will walk ever onward. Distant was the memory of her home.

Darkness was everywhere. The edges of the world were frayed. The Woman saw Nothing. Heard Nothing. Felt Nothing.

Was Nothing.