Elevator Shenanigans

It’s not news that when one is late for work, things don’t seem to move as fast as one wants them to: the car can’t race through traffic in a few minutes, the barista at Starbucks still takes 67 seconds to make the coffee, and the elevator moves as slow as a 150-year-old tortoise, except when it doesn’t. This morning, two men who work at the same company walk into work at the same time. George shows his work badge and insults the security guard. This numb-skull is an associate lawyer at Lawrence and Cole, the law firm. Right after him walks in a younger man in the IT department who is also good at his job. Jeffrey greets the guard, asks how he is, and hands him a coffee before going towards the elevator. Both George and Jeffrey are late. They press for the same floor. The elevator whirs as it lurches before it rises. Then. Bang! Zzzzt. It stops.

“Oh (sardonic laugh), great. This is what I needed to happen today.” George kicks the door.

“It’ll be fine.” Jeffrey rolls his eyes and presses the emergency call button.

“Yeah?” A deep voice crackles.

“Uh, Herman, we’re stuck down here. Could you please send down some guys to fix the issue?”

“Sure, but it’ll take a while.”

“No worries. We’ll wait.”

George groans. “And there’s no service.” The elevator lights shine on their faces sweaty from running to catch the ride up to the 50th floor. “My boss is going to fire me. That’s for certain.”

“Might as well enjoy the morning.” Jeffrey sits down and boots up his laptop.

“Excuse me, what? How do you enjoy a morning when you’re about to lose your job and are stuck in the elevator for who knows how long with God knows who!” George’s voice bounces about the silver walls.

“Shut up and drink your coffee.” Jeffrey opens up Chrome and types a random letter into the search bar.

“What are you doing?”

On the page, a little dinosaur pops up with a message that there is no service, but the optimist has no problem with that. He jabs the spacebar and sips his caramel swirl mocha latte. Bloop! Bloop! Bloop, bloop!

“You’re playing a video game? You have got to be joking.” George rubs his face.

“Yes.” Jeffrey simpers with a wink before he turns back to his laptop. “Seriously, George, this is the most ingenious of Google’s contributions to modern technology. No Wi-Fi? Play a game. Keep busy. Live life simple for a while. Most adults forget that it’s good to be like a kid once in a while.”

“How do you know my name?” George furrows his brow. “I don’t know yours.”

“Why? Because I’m a lowly computer nerd and you’re an associate? I know everything about this place and the people. The benefit is that I am invisible. The name’s Jeffrey by the way.” He quirks his eyebrows.

George leans back as he looks down at Jeffrey who continues to play on the laptop and sip at his coffee perfectly content. The computer bloops softly every time the dino hops over cacti of various sizes and shapes. It beeps louder whenever the score reaches another hundred. Jeffrey is at 700 now, near breaking his record. George only gets more and more irritated. Someone is having fun while George is sitting like a duck.

A few minutes later, George places his coffee and sinks to the floor beside Jeffrey in surrender to boredom and helplessness. He looks over Jeffrey’s shoulder. “Can I?”

“Nope.”

“May I?”

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“Nope.”

George sighs and crosses his arms as he directs a glare at the doors.

“You do know you have a laptop too, don’t you?” Jeffrey simpers at George for a moment.

“Oh.” George lowers his brow with pressed lips. He follows what Jeffrey had done before. He plays and fails fast at first, but he gets better. An hour later, the elevator doors open due to the work crew on the 50th floor. The doors open all right, and they open on George and Jeffrey on the floor, legs splayed out and playing the “No Wifi” dino game. They compete as if they are hyper five-year-olds. George grins, having won this round after Jeffrey’s streak. He juts his chin up. Jeffrey just rolls his eyes. Then the two men in suits realize that they are on the right floor and that the doors are open. Each puts his laptop back, gets up, shrugs on his jacket, and slings his bags over his shoulders. They exchange a handshake as if in respect and thank the workers, but not without a snicker as they leave the metal box.

“Good day, gentleman,” George says as if nothing had happened.

“Herman. Thanks again,” Jeffrey pats the janitor on the shoulder. When time seems to slow down, sometimes the best thing you can do is slow down too. Because the world isn’t going anywhere.

Also, if you think about it, playing games in a broken elevator while drinking coffee is a pretty ideal way to chill in the morning.