Eat Me

“Eat me.”

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You said eat me.”

“I didn’t even open my mouth.”

“Eat me.”

“You just said it again.”

“Man, you’re crazy. You’re hallucinating or something.”

“I know what I heard.”

“What you got in those brownies.”

“Don’t act like I’m crazy.”

“Well.”

“What do that supposed to mean?”

“If the boot fits.”

“Eat me.”

“There you go again.”

“There YOU go again.”

“No, I heard it that time.”

“Both of y’all crazy. Ain’t nobody say a thing.”

“Eat me.”

“I take it back. I heard it that time.”

“Eat me.”

“Who is that?”

“What is that?”

“Eat me.”

“Y’all, we gotta find where this is coming from.”

“Eat Me.”

“Come on! What’s doing that?”

“We’re going to rip this house apart until we find it.”

“What are y’all looking for?”

“We’re trying to see what’s making that sound.”

“What sound?”

“Eat me.”

“That sound.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Eat Me.”

“You didn’t hear that?”

“Nope.”

“I didn’t hear it at first.”

“All of y’all hear something?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“I think y’all under mass hallucinations. What’s in those brownies?”

“Nobody asked what you think.”

“Well, I’ll come back when, if, you all regain your sanity.”

“What did he want?”

“I don’t know.”

“He didn’t even offer to help.”

“Eat me.”

“I can’t believe he couldn’t hear that.”

“It was so soft at first.”

“Eat me.”

“And it’s so loud now.”

“Eat me.”

“And it won’t stop.”

“Eat me.”

“Wil you stop that!”

“Eat me.”

“Agh!”

“OK. Let’s stop. Relax and just listen. When it happens again, we can focus on which direction it’s coming from. But we need to be quiet.”

“That sounds good to me.”

“Shhh!”

“Sorry.”

“Stop talking.”

“OK!”

“Shhh!”

“You’re making just as much noise as he is with your shushing.”

“Y’all don’t know how to be quiet. Not another sound.”

“Of course it’s not saying anything now.”

“OK, I give up.”

“I guess it stopped.”

“Eat me.”

“Did any get that?”

“No.

“No.”

“Ok. Let’s try this again.”

“Eat me.”

“It’s coming from over here.”

“Eat me.”

“Yep. It’s coming from over here.”

“Eat me.”

“I bet you Johnny put one of those prank cards somewhere.”

“Prank cards?”

“Yes. You place it in a room, and it makes a sound at random intervals. It came be from 1 minute to an hour.”

“I heard of those. Normally it’s a cat or a cricket. Anything that’s annoying. The battery can last up to 3 months.”

“Wow! That’s diabolical.”

“Johnny is diabolical enough to do it.”

“That’s why he didn’t stay. He was just checking up on us.”

“We should try to ignore it.”

“Eat me.”

“I agree. Don’t pay any attention to it.”

“Eat me.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Eat me.”

“I’m calling Johnny.”

“Tell him we surrender.”

“Johnny!”

“Hey, Mike. Y’all still acting crazy over there?”

“We know you did something.”

“Like what?”

“Eat me.”

“What was that?”

“Oh! You heard it this time. And over the phone.”

“I heard something.”

“Eat me.”

“Of course you did. You put some sound device in here. Come get it and turn it off.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You came to check on us. To see if it started. You’re trying to drive us crazy.”

“Eat me.”

“I didn’t do anything. I barely walked in the door.”

“You were here last night. You could have done something then.”

“You were with me the entire time. You didn’t even get up to go to the bathroom. When could I have hidden something.”

“You’re right.”

“Eat me.”

“I can come over and help look.”

“I will appreciate that very much.”

“What did he say?”

“He denies any wrongdoing. He said he’s coming over to help look.”

“Make sure you let him have it. Especially if he goes right to it.”

“I will.”

“Get the door, please.”

“Hey. Have y’all narrowed it down to a basic area?”

“Yes. It’s somewhere on the side of the couch. Near the window.”

“Eat me.”

“That’s what y’all been hearing all day?”

“Yep.”

“That’s funny.”

“I knew you did it.”

“I did not.”

“You said it was funny.”

“That don’t mean I did anything.”

“It makes you look suspicious.”

“I should leave.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Eat me.”

“Wait.”

“Eat me.”

“It’s over here.”

“Over where?”

“By the window.”

“Eat me.”

“It is by the window.”

“Eat me.”

“It’s coming from outside.”

“I found it.”

“There is your diabolical mastermind.”

“It’s a bird.”

“Open the window all the way. Let him in.”

“Call Billy. Tell him we found his parrot.”