Cryptid Cosmos: Kettle Belly Ken

Introduction

Back in the days of “The Great Crystal Rush,” miners and prospectors set out to the outer rim in droves. They went in search of the galaxy’s newest source of energy, in the form of the symbiotic crystals Omsilite and Aphsilite. As the demand for these new resources grew many strange stories came about from the those cold and lonesome wildernesses and the adventurers that dared to traverse them.

Kettle Belly Ken

“When mining for Crystal it’s best not to settle. The longer you stay, you may hear the Kettle. If soot’s in the snow you best run like Fanny, or see the glow that’s rather uncanny. He knows where you’ll go, he knows where you’ve been. When mining for crystal, stay clear of Ken.”

- a Jirayan folk ballad

Dimitri Kendleford was likeable enough in passing, and those that considered him a friend shortened his Green -cloth surname to Ken, thus negating his Russik forename. This was likely due to the distrust of the Russik peoples which was commonplace after the infamous Mirrinov Raids of the previous century.

As it turned out this was one Russik who would end up deserving such scrutiny, but somehow subverted it. In the boom towns that followed such fortune hunters as “Ken” he could pass himself off as a lovably crass, oddly courteous, and down right eccentric business man of the out doors. One such town was Claytonville. It was neastled in the northwestern moutain ranges, on the largest continent of a planet called Jirayas 4, A planet quite popular for those with “crystal fever.”

He was knowledgeable about his business and the environment concerning it. He was of strong build and had the bronzing of many alien suns upon his skin. He could turn a profit and was generous with his earnings when he had them. In fact, he seemed too generous. He could never keep any of his earnings very long, do to frivolous lifestyle of drinking, gambling, and trusting too quickly when the sauce was in him.

This flaunting of wealth, caught the eye of a young boom town beauty named Fanny May Hinklie. Fanny liked adventure and loved money. A prospector like Ken seemed like a perfect fit. Not surprisingly, It only took a short time for Ken to become just as smitten with Fanny.

One Fall night, against her Pa’s wishes, she snuck away and eloped with Ken. That some night they set out for the next prospecting camp at Lincoln’s Ridge about ten hours southwest of Claytonsville by Sleidback. It takes 3 times as long by any other beast of burden and almost 5 times longer by foot, seeing as the eight legged equines were the best equipped for navigating the rugged mountain terrain.

Nearly a month and a half later on the night of November 20th, witnesses reported hearing shouting From a shelter just outside of the main encampment. Unfortunately, due to a heavy snow fall and the terrain, it took authorities over 3 hours to respond to any calls from the other fortune hunters. By the time they got there it was too late.

The deputy who first entered the shelter, one Deputy Downes, quickly realized that he and his fellow officers were not the first on the scene. Morris Holloway, a man who many thought was a friend to the couple, lived almost on the opposite side of the encampment. He lay burnt and bleeding in the middle of the shelter’s common area, or what would politely be called a living room. Holloway was still breathing, though unconscious due to the severity of his wounds.

After a thorough investigation of the premises no sign of the Ken or his wife could be found save for a pair of barefoot prints frequently intersecting with a trail of melted snow and scorched grass. The trail led to a scorched and hollowed log that had been rolled down a steep embankment, almost landing in the freezing creek, were it not for two size-able boulders. Inside was Fanny May, whimpering and wailing hysterically. Surprisingly, the most serious of her physical injuries were facial bruising, a sprained ankle, and lightly frost bitten toes.

The psychological injuries however proved much more severe. The best that the deputies could make of the frantic bride’s story was odd if not horrific. She claimed that in the few days she’d been married to Ken he had turned hostile and been drinking heavily. She had become increasingly fearful of what he might do. She thought things would be better once he made a big score, but she was sorely mistaken. He had allegedly found such a score, however, he vehemently refused to tell anyone where it was. Rather than being happy with his discovery, his and paranoia only fueled his rage and did away with the generous and jovial nature that had drawn Fanny to him. He made her a prisoner of their home and would not let her leave. She was too afraid to even try, for he had threatened her again and again, even going so far as to have threatened to kill her family if she ran or told anyone about his findings, of which she claimed to know little about.

The night of the incident, Ken had been been testing fine samples of dust shavings from some of the crystals he had supposedly found on his last romp around the forest. His findings were interesting to say the least. It was apparent, even to Fanny May, someone with little understanding of Omsilite and Aphsilite, that these were not like the ordinary strains of the two power crystals. These were more volatile, more powerful, and could mean her freedom.

After his testing concluded Ken went on to down his usual quota of alcohol. Fanny waited until he drank himself nearly to sleep. She made him one last drink and a special chaser. She took the shavings shavings of each crystal and put one kind in the main beverage and the second in the chaser. The drunken miner downed them both and began to nod off. After a short while, the two for crystals began to mingle. Seconds later,Ken started violently and woke to find himself glowing from the inside out and his stomach beginning to melt.

From here her story gets stranger. Despite the charge of catalyzed crystals burning his body up he wasn’t yet dead. He screamed and did his best to keep his guts in place by wrapping his arms around his belly until he thought to grab the cast iron kettle to catch his spilling form. The kettle seemed to fuse to him and began to glow hot much Like his hands and forearms that were now coated with the glowing gore. He turned to Fanny, his pain and rage was now visible in the energy emanating from him. She screamed It was then that Holloway broke through the door. As he met his fate, Fanny made for the back door and broke for the woods running barefoot through the snow.

It took the maniacal prospector little time to dispatch the poor intruder, and he quickly followed the girl in pursuit. The trail of scorched vegetation told and seem to confirmed the rest of her story. The monster miner clawed after her with burning hands barely missing her, wreaking hot havoc as the two bolted over and down the terrain. As he closed the distance between them, she dove down and crawled into the hollow log. In one last feat of rage, she claims the now beastial man, lifted and threw the log down the embankment. The path made by the log also supports this claim.

She never could say why he stopped trying to get her. She only remembers being in the log and no further attempts being made by what had once been Ken. The next person she saw was Deputy Downes. Neither him nor his fellow officers could discern a path that Ken might have taken away from where he had allegedly thrown the girl and her trunk.

Morris Holloway succumbed to his injuries three days later on the 23rd of that November. He had merely been going to talk sense into his friend, but had no way of knowing that the time for talking had so far passed. Fanny May made a full physical recovery and seemed to have come through mentally as well. She was returned to her father in mid December. By then, he had already placed a considerable bounty out on Ken’s head to the tune 50,000 B-Sol credits. This bounty was still posted despite it being nearly 20yrs since the incident. When asked the businessman claimed that the lack of any proof of Ken’s death, is enough reason for Mr. Hinklie to keep the bounty posted.

To everyone but Mr. Hinklie, Fanny May, and the Holloway’s family. The story of Kettle Belly Ken has faded into the realm of folklore and myth. Though, ever since that November, authorities receive calls every so often by campers, prospectors, and loggers of a strong built man with burnt/glowing skin wandering the woods around Lincoln’s Ridge, Claytonsville and even as far as the outskirts of Sodder’s Creek, another 15 hours south west from the initial incident.

Of course, in the early days these calls were taken more seriously, but now in the investigation’s 21st year, they are typically considered hallucinations or pranks as the snows of time start to turn the case quite cold.

Sightings of the “Mad Miner,” as he had come to be known, have varied slightly over time. Some claimed he wore a large cast iron pot over his head as well as the one affixed to his stomach. Some go even further to say he also had smaller pots on his hands and feet. Claims all very as to the size of both the abdominal Kettle as well as it’s over all design; some say it’s smaller with a smooth bell shape and some claim it’s larger with four spike like legs protruding from it. Such variants likely came about due to campfire storytellers trying to put a new spin on what had surely become an over told story. One thing was in every version however. Ken was violent and angry. It was never discovered why he ended his assault on his former bride, however the many tales and stories about his sightings were reported by young newly weds and primarily by the brides, none of which felt safe once they heard the the primal roars and clanging kettle.

Theories abound about Ken, his paranoia and sudden change of demeanor suggest that he found a rare or previously undiscovered form of the crystals and the unknowing ingestion of these crystals caused some form of mutation/mutilation. Authorities never charged Fanny for an attempt of murder do to the well known abuse at the hands of her former husband as well as the witness statement given by Mr. Holloway in his last days. It was widely accepted she simply acted in self defense and the defense of her family. Holloway and other witnesses claimed he had overheard many of the drunken threats prior to that night in November.

Scientists who took an interest in the tale offered little help in clearing anything up, stating that “ no prior reactions like those described exist for either of the two main crystals, or those akin to them.” This gives some credence to the idea that the shavings he had been testing for purity must have belonged to new and now lost variants of the crystals. Are there other new crystals out there? If so, what affects could they bring about? Is Ken Still out there? Why’d he stop? Could this happen again? We may never know. Thank you for joining us for this installment of Cryptid Cosmos.