Corpusboreding

Our job is akin to nits on a hot and hairy scalp, farming ideas like dandruff. It is not good for our health; we tend to cough a lot, you know, with all the dust.

For example, today, there was a moment when we thought Geoff was about to shatter the earth. He spoke for five nail-biting minutes on the topic of mitochondria... or was it hypochondria? We remain unsure, but we all commend ourselves for surviving the ride.

That said, at lunch, Geoff strode into his own. Upon finding insufficient spoons in the canteen for us to enjoy our desserts, he became remarkably forthright with a dazzlingly eloquent display of indignation. The whole team were agog. None of us had realised how subjugating a lack of spoons truly was.

HR climbed out of their ivory tower just at the point Geoff compared the insufficient supply of spoons with slavery. They said that all the "noise" could easily have been avoided if only somebody had "reached out" sooner. Well, watching Geoff in receipt of their disinfected terminology was frankly glorious. He rose like a Ronin on a quest, his sights set on the pinnacle of their tower.

I doubt HR had that sort of reaching out in mind.

Ah well, tomorrow I shall bring back all the spoons that I have absently taken home. What shall I stir up next? Perhaps I could start a riot with a lack of cups...

***

Author's Note:

Anybody from my place of work reading this, please note that although we always have a shortage of cups, I am not the perpetrator of the problem, and this is fiction. That said, I should, in the same breath, thank my beloved team for the inspiration!