Christmas Eve! Santa Is Coming!

Strong winds blew the minuscule frozen water drops violently against the house as one child lay in his bed with bulged eyes. Tonight was the night. The most feared of the year. Christmas Eve. Sweat droplets lay cold upon his brow and shallow breaths breezed through his dry mouth and chapped lips. he slowly lifted his blankets off of him and crept to his door. He spotted his father standing at the foot of the stairs, holding a shotgun pointed at the fireplace. Tyler crawled silently to his closet and carefully pulled out his brand new BB gun that he had gotten for his ninth birthday, just two months ago. After making sure it had bullets and surveying it proudly, he made his way to his dad’s side and cocked his little gun, pointing it in the same direction as his father's gun.

Mr. Tone looked down in surprise at the sound and smiled proudly at his little boy. Tyler grinned back at his papa and nodded as if to say, “You can count on me, I’ve got your back Dad.”

They stood side by side watching the fire intently for close to an hour before it finally started.

They could hear it. Ringing and ringing. at first, it was faint… jingle… jingle… but then it grew… Jingle Jingle.. Jingle.. Jingle JINGLE… They could hear the menacing tune circling above them. JINGLE JINGLY JING JINGLE JINGLE. A couple of tears rose to Tyler’s eyes and his knees started knocking together.

Tyler's father whispered a hurried, but encouraging "Be brave, son."

All at once it seemed as if the roof would come right upon their heads as a legion of thunderous CLOP CLOP CLOPPITY CLOPs shook the entire frame of the house. A droplet of sweat fell to the floor beneath Mr. Tone as he tightened the gun to his should and put his finger to the trigger. Tyler followed his dad's actions to the very best of his ability.

There was a booming crash as the entire living room flooded with an ashy smoke, irritating their throats and making it nearly impossible not to cough. As it began clearing a shadow of the giant was able to be made out, In a deep growling voice it drew out a deranged.

“HO…HO…HO.”

They were quivering with fear. The very sight of him was enough to make one faint.

His echoing voice boomed, “You’ve been naughty this year.”

A deafening boom. Two bullets whizzed right toward the giant, but in a flash, the ash was thrown back into the air and he was gone.

The hoofs repeated the devasting sound upon the roof and a red and gold sleigh swerved off the roof and sped away as there was one more “HO.. Ho.. ho.”

Tyler rushed to check his stocking. Coal. They each had nothing but coal.

* * *

Doesn’t this seem far more realistic to you? It seems so to me. Santa terrifies me in so many ways. “He sees you while you’re sleeping.”, “He knows when you’re awake”, or “He knows if you’ve been bad or good.”. Excuse me? What exactly is Santa, Google? I would appreciate some privacy and to avoid being stalked by fat old men, please and thank you?

In my humble opinion, this is the creepiest Christmas tradition I know of (Elf on the shelf is the second.)

P.S. Yeah the guy gives you gifts but I think we all have stockholm syndrome. Why on planet earth would we overlook everything else he does?

P.S. Again... I meant to post this yesterday, but straight up forgot so now I'm doing it thirty minutes into Christmas.