Chief Kramer Sets The Tone

FOUR

The small- town police department seemed to be in a buzz for so early in the morning. Generally, not much happened news wise in this quiet, but up-scale small town just north of Charleston. But today was different. Phones were ringing and people shuffling about in a hurry. Two of their own had hit the streets last night and had saved a young girl from an inferno that promised certain death. Now a press conference was scheduled for noon and reporters had already begun to arrive despite it only being ten thirty. From the small room in the far back of the building Chief Kramer yelled out his office door, “Debbie go get a hold of Siple, and Joseph for me. Tell them to get in here ASAP please.”

As the Chief’s secretary scrambled to her feet, she grabbed her skirt and pulled it down while fluffing up her hair. A quick look in her compact mirror told her that her fifty-five year old face still had a touch of class to it. Then as she headed from her desk towards the Chiefs office, Debbie exclaimed, “But Chief they just got off shift, probably sleeping right now! Do you want me to wake them?”

The Chief glanced up from his computer as Debbie entered through his door and gave her a quick grin. “Yes, Debbie, the men need to be here to talk to the media. They are calling them heroes on the morning news shows in Charleston. We need to let the PR machine run its course.” He started to turn back to his computer then stopped, he finished with “It’ll be something good for them and will help bolster our image.”

She spun on her heels and with a shrug while walking away murmured, “OK but Bill will be grouchy. He’s always grouchy.” With that she moved to her desk and dodged Officer Williamson as he headed towards the Chief’s office. She said, “Big Willy watch where you are going.” And then sat in her seat spinning her rolodex looking for the phone numbers she needed.

Big Willy is what his fellow officers called him but big Willy was only five foot three. Small in stature and unfortunately for him small in mind also. His nickname was one of those odd ones. You know like tiny that some big men seem to inherit. Officer Williamson banged on the Chief’s door and asked, “Chief you got a minute?” He hesitated a moment and despite the silence Williamson sauntered in to the tiny office. He plopped down in the dirty old chair in front of the Chief’s big mahogany desk. Snatching up the nametag from the desk he began to toy with it first spinning it then tossing it a couple of times into the air.

“Williamson, I don’t remember telling you, you could come in. What do I have to do, treat you like one of my children?” the Chief said.

Williamson froze for a second then said, “Well I am sorry Chief it will never happen again.”

“Yep, sounds just like one of my kids. Making promises they can’t keep.” The Chief said, then added. “What does my biggest child need now?”

“Well, you know Chief, now that you ask. I could use a twenty to go to the movies with my friends.” Williamson coyly replied.

With that the Chief picked up his pencil and threw it at his junior officer’s head. Big Willy ducked and heard the pencil wiz by just missing his ear. He chuckled and said, “Chief you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if it was in front of you.”

The Chief had enough at that point. “Ha, Ha,” he said, then snapped back. “Willy what do you want, I don’t have time for this? The press is going to be here soon.”

With a large grin he told the Chief, “That’s what I am here about. Let me do the press conference, I can make us look really good. Better than even those two bone head heroes.”

“Bone heads, what are you talking about?” The Chief exclaimed.

“Well, you know Siple,Siple is one of the biggest screw ups in this place.” Big Willy proclaimed.

The Chief stood up from his desk and glared at Willy. “You make me sick he stammered out. “Siple is on the way to the top. He is the best officer this side of the Atlantic, you fool.” He then ranted on, “Not only was he a college football star for our beloved Gamecocks. But he didn’t jump to the NFL when he had a chance. Instead, he did something you never had the guts for. He joined the Marine Corps as an Intelligence officer.” The Chief slapped his desk then went on, “Doing six years of duty and gaining more experience than you have in your entire life.” The Chief started to raise his voice as he continued, “He was destined for the FBI and may have become the bureaus head man if he wanted someday. But no, he is here taking care of idiots in his hometown, because he loves it here and his future wife wanted him to stay here so she could stay here.” At this point he sat down in his chair and in a calmer tone he proclaimed, “In a few years he will be sitting in this chair, running this town better than I ever could. Not you, you will still be clambering for more praise when you don’t deserve it. And if that isn’t enough for you, I respect him because he is marrying my daughter.”

The look on Big Willies face said it all, he was stunned and could only stutter, “Uh, Uh, Uh.”

Pointing to the door Chief Kramer bellowed, “Get up, get out of here and go write some parking tickets. At least you will be out of my hair for a while.” With those last words he spun around in his chair and said one last time, “Get outta here.”

The Chief heard the uncanny sounds of someone getting out of his old chair and slowly leaving his office. A little grin came across his face as his eyes moved back to his computer.

Out in the main office all the noise had quieted and Big Willy could feel all eyes pointed in his direction as he exited the Chief’s office. He put his head down looking at no one as he rushed out the front door and to his awaiting patrol car.

“Guess who just annoyed the Chief again.” Debbie said to Jim on the phone.

“Let me see, could it be Big Willie as usual.” Jim said to Debbie. “Will he ever learn, don’t get near the Chief without his morning coffee?” he said.

“Probably not.” She said, then added, “When you going to leave that women of yours and come to my line of thinking?”

Jim said, “And what would that be?”

“Well, I was thinking you and I could get married and I would make it worth your while.” she giggled into the phone.

“Oh, I think you would, but I am happy with what I have now. You are just a day late I guess.” Jim said with a chuckle, then he asked, “What do you need?”

Debbie replied, “Chief wants you in here by noon, best dress, I think. Big press conference for our heroes. Good PR for all concerned.” Then she added, “I think he wants you to call Bill also.”

“Yah right, I ain’t calling Bill. I know what he is like when he doesn’t have enough sleep. Grumpy, I think mister Grumpy should be his nickname.” Then he continued on,

“As a matter of fact, if you look in the dictionary under grumpy you will find his picture there with a scowl. No maam, you got this one. Just tell the Chief I will be there.” And with that before Debbie could even reply he hung up.

Debbie thought to herself. I don’t want to do this, who can I get to call Bill? She scanned the room looking for a victim. Looking to the front desk she thought Janie, the receptionist? Nah he would just hang up on her. Looking to the far corner of the room she saw an older sophisticated looking man. Oh yah, Assistant Chief Wais, he doesn’t look like he is doing anything. Then it crossed her mind, he would just tell me to take care of it. Ahh, rats, no body to do it, guess it is mine now. Then she had one last thought before she began to dial, please let his voicemail pick up.

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