Chaos Spared

The head of Jerrick’s ax drops swiftly down through the old log, sending the two halves dropping off either side of the woodblock. He places another upon it, and swings again with the same force and precision. It is a skill and muscle memory he had developed well in the past few years. He brings his forearm up to wipe the sweat from his brow, revealing the moisture that had accumulated in his underarms. He looks to the sun high in the sky, before looking out at the desert horizon.

They’re still not back… a nervous thought begins to cross his mind. He brings his off hand up to his bushy beard for a considerate few rubs.

With a single hearty one-armed swing, he embeds the ax into the woodblock and begins walking back towards the heart of the valley; where the majority of the settlement stays hidden and reasonably protected from the elements. His feet soon find themselves upon a wooden plank path instead of the dirt and shrub of the desert.

It doesn’t usually take this long… They left three days ago. That’s more than enough time to make it to the ruins, scavenge supplies, and make it back to the valley Jerrick continues thinking anxiously. Something happened… It was raiders… No, they probably tried to search someplace that was too irradiated. They got sick and collapsed… Losing all the strength to make it out. At this point, the man is rubbing his hands together nervously. Maybe their vehicles ran out of gas… or maybe they broke down. It could be weeks before they make it back, if they’re lucky enough not to be spotted!

Jerrick swallows hard, and squeezes his eyes shut as he shakes his head in worry. He continues on the wooden plank path that splits away and leads up the cliff. Near the crest of the short peak, a brick radio station with a reasonably sized antennae. It was abandoned here before the survivors arrived. As he climbs, he looks back over the rest of the settlement in the valley, built mostly from some metal scraps and plenty of scavenged and collected lumber. The school, the greenhouses, the solar panels and windmills, the church. A few hundred people call this place their new home.

No… It was mutants. The humans and animals that survived the radiation and became deformed monstrosities with nothing left but evil hunger and aggression he continues spiraling.

The metal door of the radio station opens with a short creak, as Jerrick makes his entrance. The short, old woman operating the radio console turns without much surprise, but with shared concern for her friend and fellow settler.

“I’m sorry, Jerrick.” offers Erin, the old woman. “There’s still no word from the caravan… They could just be staying silent. Maybe they spotted another group out there and want to play it safe.” Her words carry the utmost empathy, but Jerrick’s heart still beats low in his chest.

Erin stands up from her seat. The top of her head only comes to Jerrick’s neck, but she moves over and places a hand on her friend’s arm. “You know Sam is a tough woman. Smart, too. She’s not going to let anything stop her that easy. I’m sure they have a reason for running late.”

“I… She…” Jerrick starts to mutter, but he can’t find anything to really say. He drops his face into his hands for a moment, before he looks back up. “Thank you, ma’am. I’m… just going to sit outside.”

“Of course, dear.” Erin responds kindly.

Jerrick steps out and around the station, looking out away from the valley towards the desert shrubland and mountains in the distance. He sits upon a small boulder, hunching his back over as he stares out towards the horizon with uneasy eyes.

A few hundred people call this place their new home. A few hundred survivors. People who, for the most part, had absolutely nothing to do with the war that changed everything about their lives. What can I even say about it? Jerrick thinks bitterly to himself. I wasn’t a soldier. I wasn’t a politician. I was just a man, trying to make an honest living. Trying to survive each day, each emergency. Finding some comfort in friends and hobbies. I had no real fight with anyone. But the bombs didn’t care about that.

You hear about nuclear weapons your entire life. You hear about how the United States had used them to bring a swift end to their conflict with Japan near the end of World War II, and the arms race of the Cold War between the US and the Soviet Union. You hear about ‘mutually assured destruction,’ and you think ‘certainly no one would make that decision then?’

We hear about the weapons, but we don’t truly understand. We see the videos, and we watch the mushroom cloud, and we think ‘what a terrible thing,’ but that doesn’t come close to the the truth.

I can remember the day so vividly. The war across Eurasia had passed a point of no return. Once the first launch was detected, no one else held back. The eleven countries with atomic missiles let loose. The first launches against America were heading for Los Angeles and New York. I wasn’t going to wait long enough for my city to appear on the news. I packed only what I thought I couldn’t live without - clothing, tools, some food that should last a reasonable amount of time. I got into my car and I drove. Some of the other drivers still drove without any sense of urgency. Have they not heard yet? I sped by several police cruisers, nervously watching my mirrors, but no pursuit came. I went as quickly as I could down the freeway, weaving and dodging with a few other obviously panicked drivers. Should I have been thankful that I seemed to be one of the first ones on the road, or despairing that so many were probably still dumbstruck at home?

I only made it a few miles out of the city, up the gentle sloping mountainside, when the sky suddenly darkened. My attention snapped to my rear-view mirror, but the light I saw was so powerful, I was only able to watch for a second before the brightness began to burn itself into my retinas. I slammed on the brakes, bringing my car came to a twisting, screeching halt as I winced, screamed, and closed my eyes in pain. Only a few seconds more, and a shockwave assaulted my car, sending it - with myself, helplessly strapped inside - flying off the ground, flipping over, smashing, and sliding against the road. I would have been dead or at least concussed without my seatbelt tight around me.

I was groaning and crying in the moments until my eyesight slowly returned. I unbuckled and crawled out from under the wreckage of my vehicle, to the terrible sight of what was left of my city. A huge mushroom cloud of smoke and fire miles into the sky. Much of what was once downtown had been completely obliterated into a plain of ash, except for a few meagre stumps of steel and concrete. The miles of suburbs and housing around the city center were engulfed in flames. All around me, even at this distance, I felt the nuclear heat, nearly melting through my skin, and singing the hairs on my arms and neck. I fell to my knees in terror and despair, and I beat the ground with my fist, several times, until it hurt too much to continue. I barely made it out alive. I was just lucky. I was only a survivor, by nothing else. The chaos had spared me that day. Retrieving my supplies from the wreckage, I carried on away from the city on foot. I scavenged alone for a couple months before joining a band of survivors; that’s where I met Samantha. We discovered and settled down in this valley the following winter and haven’t left since. It’s been two years now. Everything I am in this new world belongs to Samantha… Without her…

A few hours of Jerrick’s brooding, and the sun begins to dip down over the horizon, painting the sky hues of red, yellow, and purple. Even after such an apocalypse, the natural beauty of the desert shines through. Jerrick lets out another heavy sigh, nearly giving up hope. I suppose after that horrific day and its consequences, I could be forgiven for believing that nothing good could ever happen again.

Just as that thought passes through his mind, lights peek over the horizon. Jerrick snaps to attention, jumping to his feet. The scavenge party? Samantha?? Or… Raiders…?

Jerrick charges around the radio station and flings the door open, just as the radio sounds. “Come in, radio lodge. This is Captain Gus. Sorry to keep you waiting on radio silence. We had a situation, but everything is alright now. We’ll be home momentarily.”

----------

Later that night, after the caravan was unloaded and all the scavengers were safely returned, the settlers lit bonfires in the open fields. The settlement avoids using electric lights in the nighttime to help conceal their location, which leaves them with heaps of wood to illuminate their revelries.

Jerrick lays casually across one of the benches, with Samantha cuddled up against him, her hand up stretched to gently stroke his bushy beard. They both stare into the flickering flames.

“You were worried again” she states with a bit of regret in her voice.

“Of course I was” he replies quite matter of fact, with earnest concern.

“Those raiders would’ve followed us if we hadn’t engaged them. We had to make sure they wouldn’t discover the settlement” she explained.

“I understand. I know you can handle yourself. I just…” he begins. Samantha looks up to him, and turns his face down towards herself.

“I know, Jerrick. More than anything else, what keeps me going, and gives me hope to return is that you’re here, with nothing but love, joy, and care in your heart for me.” They share a passionate gaze, low-lit by the bonfire, as she pulls him closer and kisses him deeply. The conversation and laughter can be heard all around them, but this moment is theirs. Someone nearby begins quietly playing guitar. They break from each other, and Samantha sits up on her own.

“I found something for you while we were out” she says, reaching into her pocket. She pulls out a somewhat tarnished silver locket in the shape of a heart, and opens it up to show him, though nothing is inside. Jerrick smiles.

“There was a picture inside already, but it was unrecognizable. I spent part of the trip on the way back trying to polish it, but this is as clean as I could get it.”

Jerrick grabs the locket and holds it against his chest. “It’s perfect. I’m never going to let it out of my sight. I’ll find something to put in there right away. Maria could probably draw us, or maybe Frankie would spare some of his camera film” he considers excitedly. Samantha smiles and lays her head against his chest again. Jerrick wraps his arm around her and squeezes her close.

“To be honest, though, I’m exhausted from this trip. I think you should go on the next one instead” Samantha suggests.

“Gladly. You’re better with that rifle, but I’m sure you’re tired of dealing with raiders.”

“Yeah, and the danger of radiation poisoning.”

“And the mutants.”

“Fucking mutants.”

“God damn mutants.” They both smile in their mutual condemnation of this apocalypse.

It’s a terrible new world we’ve been thrust into. But we’ve done well to keep ourselves going, and to build a new home. We couldn’t have done it without each other… Maybe it’s time to ask her about kids Jerrick considers as he gives her another affectionate squeeze.