Blinded Eyes

“Hello, Satchel.”

I stopped swimming as she spoke. I always wondered how Shaunda knew I was there or that it was even me since she was blind. I knew she was expecting me, but I never tell her when I’m coming or know where she’ll be when I get here. It’s a good thing I had on shorts this time. I’ve ruined a couple of outfits fooling with her and this pool.

Shaunda was on an inner tube soaking up the sun in her gold swimsuit, which glinted and sparkled as the water gently lapped around her. If I had looked underwater, I would have seen that the swimsuit was one of those thong types; I’d seen the suit many times before in different areas of the hillside mansion Shaunda occupied. I sometimes wondered if she wore it just for our get-togethers or if she only owned one suit.

The reflection of the sun on the water in the pool blinded me off and on as the winds played across the waves. The wind had also turned Shaunda’s inner tube around in slow circles though, right at the moment, she was facing away from me with one hand lazily skimming the water. I couldn’t see her other hand, but I knew she was holding a cell phone across her chest out of the waterline that lashed across her stomach.

“Should I call her, tell her you’re here, or throw it away?”

I treaded water towards the edge of the pool and leaned on my arms on the pool ledge. I smiled into my folded arms. She always threw out that ultimatum, her thinly veiled threat to keep me here. I hate to admit this, but my choice has made her throw away a lot of cell phones. I have no idea why she got a new cell phone each time. She never made much sense, but I guess that’s what kept me coming to her. Her threat was like a joke between us, at least until today. Today it meant something. Earlier my wife told me she was seeing someone else. I don’t think she knows about me and Shaunda (just like I didn’t know about her and whoever); at any rate, with Shaunda, I figured the ball was now firmly in my court.

Since I still hadn’t answered her, Shaunda turned in the inner tube to my general direction, a frown forming under the thick black shades she always wore. She even wore them when we were in bed together because her cloudy eyes scared me.

“Satchel, are you still here?”

“Yes, I’m still here.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you’re over there for one. Two, you haven’t answered my question. You’re usually more decisive and we’d be done by now. Did something happen at home?”

I decided not to answer her. I didn’t want to think about my wife and her betrayal, probably because my betrayal was just the same, even though I didn’t reveal it. My wife and I have been on different wavelengths for a long time with us passing each other in our hallways, throwing the occasional greeting at each other. Before today, I’d stand looking in from the doorway of my marital suite and wonder how I can have an affair. Now I wonder what I’ll do going forward since learning of my wife’s unfaithfulness. I don’t know why I’m doing this, why I keep coming over here to a woman who can’t see me coming but actually sees more of me than my wife.

Shaunda’s thing (well, besides being blind) is she wants me to be committed to her while I’m here. She gets over me not coming every day or knowing when I’ll be coming but, while I was there, I had to focus on her. Shaunda’s threat is that she’ll call my wife if I don’t stay; she’ll throw the phone away if I do. As I said before, I have no idea why she throws the phones away. She was rich so I didn’t judge; she was blind, so I overlooked it. She also doesn’t like to waste time which is why she has my home number on speed dial and wasn’t afraid to use it.

“Shaunda, before I tell you my decision…”

“What! What do you mean before you tell me your decision? You didn’t have this problem before? Why now? Something happened and you don’t want to tell me! I can’t have you here if you can’t commit to this moment! I’m not offering you love, just sex! Did you decide to tell your wife yourself?”

Shaunda’s slight outburst shook me a little but, knowing how heightened her other senses are, I didn’t want to display fear.

“No,” I said. “No, I’d never tell her. I leave that pleasure to you.”

“What is it then?”

“Let me ask you something. Why did we start this? Why do we keep doing this?”

“Well,” Shaunda started as she kicked the water a little to float closer to me. “I think this, as you call it, started when you helped me pick out my first cell phone. It was like you knew what I wanted and, even though I couldn’t see your face, I knew you needed something. I had to find a way to repay you for your helpfulness and help you get what you needed. I guess we still keep it up, even though you shrieked like a girl when you saw me without my shades because you still need us to. Now, what’s it going to be?”

By this time, the inner tube had bumped up against my back. I felt Shaunda’s impatience pouring over me.

“I didn’t scream like a girl. It was just a little unnerving. I’d never seen blind eyes before.”

“I didn’t take offense. But you’re lying when you say you’ve never seen blind eyes before. Every time you look at your wife you see blind eyes, see through blind eyes. She doesn’t know you’re here, doesn’t know what you’re doing, and you aren’t telling her. But my blindness is beside the point. I can’t change the fact I can’t see, but would you like me to open the eyes of your wife?”

I turned and looked at Shaunda. I needed to stay and wanted to go. I was torn between two blind women, neither of whom had enough feelings for me to pick between them, who treated me as useful as the cell phones Shaunda was constantly throwing away. I wanted to be angry and tried to be sad; I knew that before the day was over, I had to pick a set of blinded eyes.