Best Laid Plans
It was ours for the taking
Late afternoon heat evaporated as dusk settled gently across the field. We laid unmoving. Waiting patiently, weeks of preparation and planning were about to pay off.
Mosquitos buzzing in the air attacked our exposed skin, I felt a tap on my shoulder, smiled and accepted the repellent, as I said we planned for everything.
Twilight overtook the land, we began inching forward. Dust from the dry soil rose as we crawled under the wire fence, while Crickets called out from the shadows. A lone crow watched our every move, in silence he judged us. We paused, hearts beating in our heads, then continued.
Suddenly we were there, treasures spread before us. Giddy with excitement and high on the moment we stuffed our backpacks with ill-gotten loot. Suppressed laughter hung heavy in the air. We smiled so brightly our teeth shone in the moonlight. I didn't realize how much there was, more than we imagined. We should have left when we planned, but greed got the best of us.
Without warning, a powerful light penetrated the covering darkness, a boom of a shotgun shattered the night.
A voice stilled our hearts as we heard. "Git outta my garden ya little bastards."
About the Creator
JBaz
I have enjoyed writing for most of my life, never professionally.
I wish to now share my stories with others, lets see where it goes.
Born and raised on the Canadian Prairies, I currently reside on the West Coast. I call both places home.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
The Dryads are Calling
They say the forest by Phoenix River sings. Perhaps it is just the wind howling through the leaves, or a particular birdsong. But Percy Fisher knows better; he knows what lies in those woods, and he knows that the forest sings of his demise.
By Leigh Hooperabout 13 hours ago in Fiction
Comments (28)
Such a great read!
Nice set up for a longer thriller. Enjoyed ♥️ Congratulations on Top story too.
JBaz, this was such a great read! I love that you hid the identity of the narrator fro us right until the end! It felt like a thriller/ action/ adventure story, it was intense and exciting and then had a fun twist to the end! Great work and congratulations on a well deserved Top Story Badge!
Only just found this wonderful story. Congratulations on a well deserved top story.
Late to the party on this one but enjoyed everything about it. Especially how the lone crow sat silent in judgement. Great descriptions throughout, J.
I am stuck wondering what they were stealing...😆🤔 The scene you created here is so vivid. I can feel the night air, the dry dust, smell the dug out earth, and feel the energy shift with the farmer's demand. So good!
Very well written story. I was captivated from beginning to end . I really like the end with the light and the shotgun
Nice
congrats on making top story JBaz - a great read
Congratulations JBaz!
Oh, they were so close!!! You set the scene perfectly, and I could hear the farmer's voice yelling that so clearly. Fantastic work :) Congratulations on Top Story!!
Oh man I laughed so hard at the end of this. I remember doing just what you described, as a young boy. Loved it. Congrats for a well deserved top story.
Ohh excellent imagery and sensory narrative you set up here with a perfect pay off! So good!
That ending was brilliant!
Great story, I like the ending!
well done, I enjoyed reading it
That was a very cute story!
Oh, this made me laugh so hard! That ending is priceless. Incredibly well done, J Baz 🙂
Haha, nice ending! Really enjoyed this one.
Lol, will you be writing a part 2 where he shoots them all 🤣 Just kidding! Loved your story!
That's a pleasant scene. Everyone has such different concepts for the micro-heist.
I love the descriptions! It really sets the scene. Great job!
Too cute!!! Love this!!!♥️♥️💕
Led me right down the garden path with this one. Great story!
Haha, great story Jason! This is the worst kind of steal, the garden variety!