Backwath Offices

How are you supposed to feel the day before you meet your soulmate? Surely, an event so life altering and Earth shattering is something you can feel coming, approaching rapidly round the corner along with your gentle voice. Surely, an event so memorable was one I’d looked forward to, one I’d anticipated as the days came nearer. Surely.

Well, this was about as unplanned and unexpected as ever.

I wonder how you felt the night before I came into your life. Could you feel me creeping in? Were you tossing and turning in your bed unable to sleep out of excitement, or biting your nails down to the brim in nerves? Surely, you’d be able to feel something so important approaching. Surely. But now, with your fingers laced with mine, you tell me you’d had a busy shift at the chippy, and you slept just fine.

The morning of, I wonder if you were excited to begin the day. Whether you had a spring in your step, anticipating my arrival. Instead, you tell me you set your alarm for eight-thirty and slept right through. You tell me you nearly missed the number 9 bus to your day job. ‘I was too tired, the bairns kept uz up al’night an’all’ You pathetically excuse today, and I wonder, how could you nearly miss such a thing? What would have happened if you did miss it? Did you care that little?

Stumbling onto the bus, I wonder whether you were anxious. Eyeing the lack of free seats, the judgemental stares from that old lady who lived down on first, and the hurried bus driver. I wonder whether you were hoping for me, and much to your relief, there I was. Next to the only free seat in town.

Were you eager to join me? Did you know that the eyes covered by my draped hair would be the eyes you’d swim in one day? Did you know that my heart was already covered in chains, encaged by a lock to which you held the key? Surely. But now you tell me, as you slid into the seat beside me, you only thought, ‘Move a long a little bit, pet.’

I wonder whether you were inching to start a conversation. The dreary weather, the crying child at the back, the morning rush hour. You chose the morning rush hour.

“It’s not busy at all like, is it?” You apparently said in a sarcastic tone and all I saw was your plump lips moving enthusiastically, wide with each word exaggerated.

I leaned forward, removing one of my earphones expectantly, “Sorry?”

You sighed, and I wonder whether you were just too nervous to repeat it. Afraid you might butcher it, stumble over your simple words. Now you tell me, ‘It was just small talk, I didn’t expect t’av to say it twice.’

Nevertheless, you leaned forward a little bit too. The close proximity of the bus brought your mouth close to my ear. You must have been making a move, I’d thought. You were desperate to be closer to me, the beads of sweat forming on your forehead due to nerves rather than the humidity.

“I said, ‘Not busy at all like, is it?’” You repeated and I finally forced out a laugh, hoping you’d think I found you funny.

“Yeah, lots of breathing room” I tried to reciprocate, hoping you’d force a laugh too.

I wanted to think you found me funny too, or at least cared enough to make me believe so. And maybe you did, as you found it in you to let out a gentle breath. A puff of air, in the form of a chuckle.

“Aye”

Aye. What does that even mean? I repeated it under my breath in a murmur, wanting to see how it sounded on my tongue. Not the same.

“D’ya kna the nearest stop to the Backwath offices? Am gannin doon there for work and it’s me first day” You finally expanded upon the simple utterance of ‘aye’ and I tried to not to smile too hard, happy that you’d seen some hope in me.

Or maybe you were just desperate.

The only issue was, I had to remove another earphone this time.

“Sorry?” I repeated again and by the look on your face I knew you were getting irritated, about to begin again, “It’s just loud, I’m sorry-”

“The backwath offices. D’ya kna the nearest stop?”

I paused.

You waited anxiously.

“Back-whath? I’m not sure”

“Aye. Meant to be a propa big building, doon by May-”

“Oh- You mean the Backworth offices?”

“That’s what I said, innit? Backwath offices?”

I fell silent. Was that what you said?

“Sorry, I-I know. It’s just loud” I apologised again, stuttering over my words.

I was blowing my cover. Apologising for no reason at the hands of the attractive man, you, before me. I hadn’t even done anything wrong. You were the one talking nonsense.

“You said that already” Was all you said and I didn’t move, your face so frighteningly plain I had no idea what you could be thinking, “Somethink tells me yous have neva had a Northerner in town”

Then you cracked a smile. It wasn’t forced. And I did too.

“We had Graham Carter a while ago. But I think we drove him away” I revealed, and you nodded, laughing a short, unsurprised laugh.

“Cannit say am surprised like” You shrugged your broad shoulders and I felt myself swoon, wondering whether you felt it too, “Well, d’ya kna where the Backworth offices are then?”

I laughed again now, shaking my head in amusement. I started pointing in directions with my fingers and you followed as I did so, unaware of the mental battle I was enduring to fight the blush rising to my cheeks.

I explained the way, and you seemed to follow. But then, as I finish speaking and reluctantly went to place my earphones back in, you spoke again. I heard a stutter that time.

“Wait- Say again, please? When a say am new I mean am completely new, I divvent have a clue where you’re on aboot” You rambled, and I understood the general gist.

I explained it to you. And then you asked again.

“You’re not good with directions, are you?” I teased and you immediately scoffed, a playful sound that I heard above the chatter of the bus.

“Not doon here, nah. But divvent forget, it is me first day. Don’t be too hard on iz”

“How could I. First day nerves?”

“Nah. Me boss is canny, av spoken to ah over the phone n tha. Where ye off to like?”

You were asking about me. This was all I took from your words, littered with things I could not understand. Now, I would. Having met your family, your friends, your next-door neighbour. But then, after you’d asked me about me, I wondered whether this was just small talk too. Or were you actually interested? I told myself you were interested to keep the smile on my face for just a little longer.

“Just work too. I’m a barista at the 901 café just a few stops from you, actually” I told you and you nodded, the corners of your lips tugging upwards in delight.

“Well, a might have to pop in. Al get some bait in me lunch break if yous do that kinda thing” You said hopefully.

I wasn’t sure I understood, but I thought I did. So, I nodded and smiled anyway, too lovestruck by your bright eyes and your smile, by the way words rolled off your tongue.

“And when a come in, whose it a ask for?” You asked and I felt my stomach whirl, head falling foggy.

I was silent for a few seconds. Had I forgotten my own name?

“Oh- Natasha” I finally got out, holding out my hand for him to shake.

God.

But you didn’t seem to mind. In fact, all you did was smile back, the gentle touch of your fingertips shocking mine for the first time. They were warm. Soft. Our hands only connected for a little while but as they stay locked together now, I can’t remember another fitting so perfectly.

“Okay, Natasha” You repeated and I thanked God I’m not standing up, as I felt my legs turn into putty.

The way you said my name turned me weak and I was desperate to know yours. You read my mind, stating it was Daniel. Dan, now.

Then, you smirked.

“Backwath offices. Can a get the directions just one more time?”

But unlike you, I was happy to repeat myself. I’d hoped the conversation wouldn’t end. You got off at the right stop, and I hoped I’d see you the next day. Maybe you’d go the wrong way and could ask me again. But now, as you lay with my head on your chest, your hand rubbing circles and drawing hearts on my back, you tell me that you’d always known the way to Backworth offices. You’d had your first day the week before .