Alex Jones IN SPACE! Part: 1

Consciousness returned to him slowly, like the rising sun on America, land of the brave, home of the free. God he loved America.

He’d been having a particularly vivid dream, akin to a DMT trip though he had never partaken, drugs were for hippies. As in all his dreams he had been fighting the globalists, not enough to battle them in the waking hours he had to wage spiritual warfare on them in sleep to.

"No rest for a patriot when there’s a war on the homefront and freedom itself is at stake..."

He thought to himself, chuckling at the thought of fighting globalists in his sleep. Those weak devil worshipping child sacrificing communists… He hated those goddamn globalists!

In his dream he was ripping them apart with his bare hands, tearing through wave after wave of impish blue haired liberals, fighting to find their leader and stop the son of a bitch to finally restore freedom as promised in the constitution.

The demons kept coming but were no match… he had jesus behind his fists.. he was unstoppable.

He broke through the horde and saw him, a hooded figure directing the unholy onslaught.

"Gotcha now you demon"

The figure saw him and appeared to shrink and tremble, it knew the gig was up, you can’t stop a true patriot. Alex lunged the distance and grabbed the figures cloak.

"Let’s see who you really are Satan"

But just like all the dreams before, he awoke before pulling the hood back, damn.

As senses returned to him he noticed an odd sensation, like he was floating in one of those hippy isolation tanks joe rogan was always talking about. There was something around his mouth too… wait no it was IN his mouth, and running down his throat like one of those face huggers from that Sigourney weaver movie. He panicked.

His eyes shot open to see he was surrounded by greenish fluid, inside some kind of tank like a goddamn gold fish. He thrashed about the tank, striking its glass walls with powerful thuds but to no effect.

There was a series of black tubes leading from the roof of the tank and connecting to the mask afixed to his head, pumping god knows what down his throat. He started getting angry.

He pulled the mask and tubes out of his mouth, they may have been feeding him oxygen while in the tank but he wasn’t worried, in his peak physical shape he could hold his breath minutes more than the average man.

He brought his knees up to chest level, bracing his back against the back wall as he gathered all his strength and expelled it in one mighty kick. The glass shattered and he and the contents of the tank spilled out onto the cold floor. He panted heavily and smiled to himself.

"Betcha can’t find a liberal that could do that"

He peered around, analytical mind working overdrive taking in every detail. It looked like a warehouse designed by H.R. Giger.. row upon row of greenish fluid filled tanks filled the space in tidy lines, each held a person suspended in slumber as he had been moments before.

"What the hell am I looking at"

Of course Alex had an idea of what was going on… blood sucking satanic elitist cults… Chinese human animal hybrid cloning program…. Or had he just awoken from the matrix? Maybe the globalists had been siphoning his vitality to power their military industrial machinations … the fools, they had no idea how to handle power like what HE was packing and it was about time he showed them first hand.

He stood, small droplets tracing down his glistening form, like the drops of condensation that might form on a bowl of ice cream sitting on the porch in the middle of a texas summer. Bashfulness be damned, he trotted through the rows of tanks searching for an exit. The poor wrecks in the tanks paid him no mind as they slumber in they’re coffins. He passed face after face as he ran, and though the mouth apparatus obscured the features of the faces he came to an abrupt stop when he recognized one.

"I knew it"

Here he was …Jeffrey epstein… somehow he just knew the son of a bitch was still alive… he just hadn’t imagined anything like this. Then the neighboring tank caught his eye, John F. Kennedy… not John F. Kennedy jr….. the “assassinated” president himself. bullet hole still present on his head but flickering lights on the tank seemed to suggest he was alive in there…. What the hell was going on.. over his career he had dug deep into some of the most farfetched government conspiracies and Machiavellian plots cooked up by the elites dating as far back as the stories his father had told him over the dinner table from his time working in the secretive echelons of the United States government. Even so, if you had told him that he’d be standing buck ass naked infront of a decades presumed dead president aswell as one of the most prolific human traffickers in human history he would have laughed at the absurdity of it… yet here he was.

He considered breaking Kennedy out of his tank and getting some answers out of him , he also considered breaking into epsteins tank and showing him the price of his crimes against humanity but any plans he had were interrupted by a mechanical hiiisssss from a chamber wall not far off. He took cover, trying to get a view of the interloper through the blurry glass of the tanks.

A stiff figure stepped through the portal and strode mechanically through the glass sarcophagy. It’s path would lead right by Alex’s hiding place, he tensed himself for conflict.

The figure drew up on him, Alex waited like a coiled snake until his target was in range and then… he struck!

He leaped onto the figure, tackling him to the ground and flipping him over to deliver a good ol American ass whoopin… but surprised recognition stayed his hand.

"Bravo? Is that you?!"

The face of Eddy bravo stared up at him, no discernable expression on his face.

"What the fucks going on here Bravo, are you in on this? Who was it? The globalists? The Chinese? What did you get into Bravo! What did they offer you! Tell me!"

The face remained unconcerned as it replied flatly

"We miscalculated your strength and vitality Alex, new information will be updated to the system, altered measures will need to be taken for your restraint"

Alex coughed a laugh, spittle misting the face of the other.

"I wouldn’t count on it Bravo, I’ve got the holy spirit on my side, update your system with THAT information"

Eddy made to struggle free but alex pressed down on him with bear like strength and weight.

"What happened to you Bravo? I thought you were a cool guy… weird thoughts on the flat earth stuff but a smart guy that was with it… or so I thought"

He stopped struggling and replied.

"You must be referring to my counterpart on earth. I am Eddy Alpha, the Bravo unit was sent to earth on a Reconnaissance mission but contact was lost, it was assumed he was destroyed or his mind had become corrupted by living among the humans"

OF COURSE alex thought, cloning programs and dystopian scientific facilities… this had china written all over. It comforted him to think there was an Eddy bravo out there that wasn’t in on this sick scheme.

"Well… me and bravo were… are friends. We choke eachother out and play jokes on eachother all the time… well mostly its Bravo working me up till im red in the face but it’s all good fun"

Eddy alpha looked up at him quizzically.

"You are…. Friends with the Bravo unit?"

Alex nodded, chin dipping in and out of the fat of his neck.

"Yeah I love eddy, he’s an alpha male and so am I so we get along"

Alpha looked like this information was about to short circuit from this new information.

"Eddy units are taught that you are the enemy… not intelligent enough to be anything more than a commodity… yet you befriended the Bravo unit?"

"Yeah brother! Now how about you tell me what is going on and get on the good side of history, give me the whole enchilada and you’ll go straight in my good books"

The face softened and the genuine hint of a smile traced the side of its mouth.

"Okay… Alex… but it might be easier for me to show you"

Alex looked dubious but then decided to extend an olive branch of trust. He withdrew his crushing weight from Alpha’s chest, allowing him to stand.

"Alright, now what?"

Alpha took off walking and Alex followed. They came upon a rectangular trace work in the immense black metal wall and stopped before it.

"What am I looking at Eddy?"

He didn’t respond but touched a panel on the wall instead. Machinery whined and Metal shifted revealing a ginormous window. The sight was almost overwhelming, he never thought he’d see IT like THIS in his lifetime… yet here he was.

The blue marble of the earth was there suspended in space, thousands of miles below him.

He was in SPACE! BUT HOW!

He had never heard of any organization in even the seminal stages of an operation like this… if there had been his sources would have known about it… he had sources everywhere, if it was being kept hidden, plotted or planned by any man on earth he was bound to hear about it… that left only one answer.

"Aliens"

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Eddy Alpha stared out at the earth beside him as he replied.

"It’s more complicated than that but you’re close Alex"

Alex raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh yeah? What am I missing?"

Eddy’s mouth opened to speak but then he was thrown violently against the wall, the report of an energy weapon discharge screeching in the enclosed space. Alex dove for cover, executing a perfect combat roll behind the relative protection of a glass tank.

"Eddy!"

He yelled at the heap on the floor. Eddy’s head rolled up to look at him, a dark green fluid leaking from a fist sized hole in his chest and dripping from the side of his mouth.

"Hang on buddy im coming to get you, just hold on you’ll be alright"

Eddy smiled and spoke hauntingly

"Br-bravo was lucky to have a friend like you. I w-wish I had known you better"

Emotion tugged on Alex’s vocal cords as he replied

"There’s still time brother, I’ll take care of this piece of trash and get you patched up"

Eddy smiled, somber and resolved

"Y-you’ll never be able to take him from the front, I’ll distract him while you sneak around his flank…ca- catch him by surprise"

He was right, that was the only chance he had at taking down this unseen attacker while unarmed.

"You’re a hell of a guy Alpha, human or not you’re exactly what the world needs more of, Americans, id be happy to call you friend"

Alpha smiled wider then gestured with his chin.

"He’s coming, go NOW!"

Alex crouch walked into the rows of tanks, sweeping wide and keeping an eye on the direction of the shot. The sound of singing reached his ear… Alpha was singing to draw the attacker in with… You’ve Got A Friend In Me by Randy Newman of all songs….

"Well that’s kind of gay…. not that there’s anything wrong with that just not for me personally"

Alex thought to himself.

A dark blur moved between the tanks, reaching Alpha as he belted out the chorus. Alex turned and moved in to flank the attacker, fighting to control his breathing and move silently.

"He’s not the way they told us he was…. He’s… different"

Alpha stated to the figure standing over him. The figure stooped, and the crackle of bone rang out followed by the blood curdling war cry of a wild animal.

Alex sprang from cover, striking the figure and sending its energy weapon skittering across the floor and away. He threw a flurry of punches to the back of its head, landing thick meaty contact with its balled pink skull. He spun the thing around aiming to land a nuke of an uppercut and end this fight but the sight of its face made him skip a beat… and lose the advantage.

It was a goddamn human animal hybrid…. Body of a man but the facial features of a pig, snout and all.

It glared visceral hatred at him through its beady little black eyes and bared 2 savage looking tusks.

"You don’t have to do this buddy! They fucked with your DNA l get it. They treated you like a goddamn science project I get it! I can help you! You can live a normal life! Everyones welcome in Austin Texas"

The words fell on deaf ears, if this thing did comprehend his words it made no move to stop, it advanced on him.

Alex backed up, not breaking eye contact as he made way towards the fallen energy weapon.

Just steps away the man-pig realized his plan and lunged.

Alex rolled flawlessly, scooping up the rifle and lining up the shot before coming to a stop. Instinct kicked in and he put two shots in center mass and one in the head, the force of which blew a melon sized hole through its face. It collapsed lifeless, the smell of bacon rising from the corpse.

Alex let out a shaky breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. He got to his feet and walked to where Eddy lay. He was dead, neck broken. What a goddamn waste…

Alex swept a single tear from his eye, happy no one was around to see him get so emotional.

"Thank you"

He addressed the corpse, then carried on in his journey to find answers.

The chamber was immense and finding a door proved challenging. Bare feet slapped on cold metal and he felt grateful for the girthy weight of the rifle slung over his shoulder and the pair of pants he’d taken off the man-pig, they fit loose and long but it beat going free bird for now. He would have taken a shirt as well had they not been shot through and saturated with gore… he wanted HIS clothes that’s what he really wanted but where might they be?

Another face caught his eye, suspended as she was in the tank. Megyn Kelly, the news broadcaster that had interviewed Alex and treated him non to gently in her questioning. He knew he should be angry with her but DAMN if she wasn’t pretty enough to forgive. He studied the lines of that beautiful face, one feature at a time, working his gaze down her curved figure.

"What are you doing Jones!"

He chided himself for ogling an unconscious woman, looking back up he found her eyes open, to his horror.

Fear and anger played over her face as she started to flail about.

Hang on! I’ll get you out