A Rendezvous with a Nightmare

The rain beat against the windscreen of the car, it was like the gods were firing at it with a machine gun, and everywhere I looked I got the feeling that I was the only one affected by the rain. I was on my way to the Takeshi’s Castle, a Korean Barbecue restaurant in an area of the city known as Little Italy.

I arrived on the scene at half past five and as I exited my car I was embroiled in the middle of argument between an Italian, a Spaniard and a German who arguing over what sushi the Indian Restaurant should be serving.

I left the hubbub and made my way into Takeshi’s Castle, the air was ripe with the sickly sweet smell of barbecue sauce and blood, it was the smell of murder ‘Good to see you Frank’ the familiar voice of Ed Hocken cried out as the heavy set man made his way across the restaurant with piece of barbecue pork in an evidence bag, ‘we’ve got a pickle on our hands here Frank.’

I looked at the body on the floor, forensics were laying taped chopsticks around the body to form an outline ‘What’s with the chopsticks?’ I asked.

‘Sorry Frank, the tape and chalk guy is on leave after throwing his back out playing frisbee’ Ed replied.

‘What do we know of the victim? I asked nodding to the body.

Ed responded, holding another piece of barbecue pork in an evidence bag ‘Chai Nis Mann, 50, originally from Tennessee, he’s the owner.’

‘Who?’ I replied.

‘No, Hu is the chef’ Ed said his hands now holding four evidence bags, ‘the owner was more like a Maitre’D.’

I replied with ‘Waiter?’

Ed shook his head ‘No Wai Terr is the delivery driver, he isn’t involved.’

‘Who isn’t involved?’ I asked.

Ed was now putting over a dozen evidence bags into a briefcase ‘Hu is the chef, he’s one of the suspects’ Ed said, ‘the important thing is Frank is that the owner’s wife isn’t too bothered about the murder.’

This left me puzzled ‘Why?’

Ed handed me a photograph ‘The killer made off with an antique known as the Japanese Powder Monkey.’

I looked at the photograph ‘I don’t think you can call people that these days Ed?’

‘No Frank’ Ed said now holding a wheelbarrow with the word “Evidence” stencilled on it, ‘it is an old nautical term and this antique was a wedding gift, very valuable.’

I left Ed to take statements from the restaurant’s staff whilst I made my way to the docks to see if here was a nautical connection; I had a feeling that like a pig farmer in a hurricane, I was going to have to get dirty.

I arrived at the docks a little after dusk; a hardy looking bunch gave me the eye as most of them had eye patches, or were the kind of sailor that as soon as they were in international waters put on a frilly pink dress and acted out their favourite broadway scenes. One of the mob came up to me and spat on the ground; an intimidation tactic supposed to make unwanted people rethink their next steps ‘You’re kind ain’t welcome here?’

I squared up to the hairless gorilla ‘Lieutenant Frank Drebin. Police Squad’ I said flashing my badge, ‘what do you know about the Japanese Powder Monkey?’

A short sailor came forward, a scar ran down his face, his eyepatch was riveted to his face and his neck bore a Gilbert and Sullivan tattoo ‘No one across these docks has anything to do with that cursed object’ he said beneath a cloud of cigarette smoke, ‘

Ignoring the obvious attempt at intimidation I replied ‘What makes it cursed?’

The sailor leaned in closer, he was now so close I could smell the sardines and baked potato he had for lunch ‘It was made by a Dutch Prince in the depths of a Calcuttan Insane Asylum.’

Before I could ask anymore questions, a ship horn blared and the sailors made off like a pack of Howler Monkeys, this was going to impact my investigation. I was going to have to speak to an old friend.

It was late evening when I arrived at the alley where Johnny the Snitch shined shoes for a living. I sat in the seat and Johnny went to work on my shoes ‘What do you know about the Japanese powder monkey?’ I asked as I slipped him a five dollar note.

Johnny still working took the note and offered ‘A priceless antique from Calcutta, very dangerous.’

I slipped Johnny another five ‘What makes it dangerous?’

‘Rumour has it that the Dutch Prince who made it in the Calcuttan Insane Asylum had hidden something inside it.’

I slipped him another five ‘Like what?’

Jimmy took the five ‘No one but the Prince knowns, but people will kill for it.’

I took a ten and passed it to Johnny ‘Where can I find it?’ I asked.

Jimmy took the ten and handed me five back ‘You didn’t hear this from me but apparently it sits on the mantlepiece of Jack Nicholson.’

I left Johnny the Snitch and made my way to Laurel Canyon to question the Joker.