A Pear, Witch, and Coyote

There was a trail of shrimp tails on the back porch, an empty container of cocktail sauce, and several empty wine cooler bottles with a half-gone bottle of rum keeping them company. A bucket of fried chicken was toppled, and a few pieces were eaten. The Tabby cat Morgenmuffel was doing his part by assisting in the clean-up of the shrimp tails by eating them. Hannibal the Samoyed dog declined to help with the shrimp tails, they were just not his thing. Hannibal knew his owner, the compulsion to live on leaves and that horrible tofu would be over as soon as her love affair with the vegan fire juggler came to an end. In the late evening with a text message, the summer romance was done. With a doggie sigh, nosing the chicken, Hannibal carefully selected a breast to eat, knowing that the bones could become lodged in his throat if he tore in and chomped down vigorously on the chicken.

The porch swing creaked as it swayed ever so slightly. Tempe in a silk kimono, unlaced doc martin boots, and a serious case of raccoon eyes from crying in make-up, slept passed out, one leg dragging. Hannibal regarded his owner and thought that her neck would hurt something terrible from sleeping like that. It didn’t bother the fluffy white dog enough to wake Tempe, after all, there was still chicken to be eaten in that bucket.

Benedicta with a mug of coffee in hand came out to her porch in the small hours of the morning to observe the wreckage that was her sister. She was grateful Tempe had on tap pants under the kimono or the building crew would have gotten an eyeful of her sister on the porch swing. The pets paused their banqueting to observe Benedicta walk down the porch steps to the side of the house and turn on the garden hose. Pointing the nozzle, she liberally doused her sister with water.

Tempe sat up sputtering and turning a vicious glare on her sister shrieking, “Dicky what the hell!”

“Morning Tempe, from the looks of things we are mourning a relationship I see?”

Rubbing her head Tempe said, " Oh Dicky, I loved him. It was glorious he was a soul mate.”

“The fire eater, right…umm… David?” Benedicta struggled to keep the names straight, her sister had had a lot of soul mates over the years.

" Daveed, Dicky and he was a Poi dancer and artist."

" He was a loser and didn’t deserve you. I swear you have been down this road a million times. Humans are fun Tempe but sadly we outlive them. Now we are going to skip the moaning about love lost, three days in bed and several quarts of chocolate ice cream and zip ahead to resignation and bill paying."

Tempe stood straight up regrated the sudden motion and bending over the porch rail threw up in the rose bushes. Morgenmuffel gave a soft mew and Benedicta using the hose to spray the sick from her flowers said, “Muffle, it’s kind to offer your hairball remedy but she is sick for another reason.”

Hannibal woofed and Tempe wiping her mouth with the back of her hand said, “No, eating grass won’t help either.”

Benedicta coiled the hose onto its holder and led her sister into the house. She pressed a mug into Tempe’s hand and ordered, “Drink all of it.”

"Oh god, Dicky not mother's morning after potion," Tempe said with a whine.

" You get drunk, you pay the price."

“You’re heartless Dicky.”

“ Drink” was the curt reply.

Tempe drank in one long pull and gasped. She ran for the bathroom, threw up again, and emerged ten minutes later her eyes clearer. She had taken the time to scrub the mascara and eyeshadow off her cheeks. Tempe took a water glass from the cupboard to fill with water and sat at the solid oak table. Drinking the water, she waited for her lecture from Dicky.

Benedicta poured her sister a bowl of Captain Crunch Cereal added milk and set it in front of her with a spoon. Tempe said contritely, “You always know how to make me feel better Dicky” and shoveled in a spoonful of cereal.

It’s because you’re a six-year-old masquerading as an adult. Tempe, I need you to pitch in a bit more. I must admit Alex has worked out well. Your friend is paying for the new barn; he has converted the attic to his vampire needs. It was good that you brought him and his large bank account here.” Benedicta paused, finished her coffee, and continued, “With that said You have done zero for the family business Tempe and I need help.”

“Dicky you know I am no good with plants. It’s that whole touching dirt thing.”

Benedicta considered pointing out the absurdity of Tempe’s dirt aversion when it came to working the gardens, yet she gleefully camped in the dirt at Renaissance Fairs, New Age events, and Bonnaroo music festival. "True, but you are an excellent enchanter and spell stirrer. With the old barns' sad demise, we must outfit the new barn with a witch's kitchen, lab, and assembly station. If I am doing all of that how do deliveries and sales calls get done?”

Tempe knew she was cornered. Her sister had planned this talk well by laying out facts and logic. "Dicky, I am due in the southwest for Spirit fest. I…"

Benedicta smiled, it was not warm and sisterly," Tempe dear, you are going to a huge new age convention in the wilderness. We make homeopathic, organic, potions and lotions. If you combine your love of weed and driving an obscene number of miles with selling out family products it is a business expense. You get a company credit card for gas and reasonable expenses."

Tempe knew this was too good to be true, there had to be a catch. She waited; Benedicta would spring the snare.

Benedicta poured another cup of coffee and said, “Of course going out that way you would need to drop off a special ordered to Coyote.”

Tempe had been draining the diabetes level milk from her bowl and hearing that she sputtered and almost dropped the bowl. “No, No way, No how am I dropping off anything to him.”

" I know you left on bad terms, but he paid well, and it is on the way." Her sister said reasonably.

“NO. I lost a year of my life partying with him and Spider. When I sobered up that jerk had left me stranded butt naked in the desert. I was damn lucky not to have burned to a crisp while getting out of there.”

"You consented to party with a trickster god Tempe, and he left you just outside of Los Vegas, it could have been worse." Benedicta glanced over at the box wrapped in brown paper sitting on the counter.

“That it?” Tempe said glaring at it as if it held a bomb.

“That’s it” Her sister confirmed.

“I can slow down fling it at him out the window and go?”

“As long as he gets it.”

“What is it?”

" I can't tell you, condition of the sale," Benedicta stated firmly.

Tempe stood and said, " Fine but I want enough space on that company credit card to stay in a nice hotel and not sleep in the van. Someplace classy like Motel 6."

Tempe leaned on her van, shades on her head, hair in a ponytail, and her favorite band T-shirt on. The three tired skirts moved in the slight breeze, and she tapped her cowboy boot while holding the box. She scanned the rest stop and didn't see anyone resembling Coyote. Then again, he was a shapeshifter. Then a tall lean man in a cowboy hat was next to her, his long black hair loose about his shoulders.

" Did you miss me, babe? “he said in that accent that only Native American guys can do.

“No, you giant ass.” She said not looking at him.

" It's been 50 years, you're still mad?"

“Here is your stupid box.” She said thrusting it at him and turning to go into the van.

He caught her arm while managing not to drop the box, “I’m sorry, my nature is such that sometimes I get caught up in the game. Look let me make it up to you.”

“How? “She said petulantly

he whispered in her ear, and she blushed.

Coyly Tempe stated, “ You’re coming with me to spirit fest right? I have a van load of crap to sell.”

“Of course, I love to do sales. I’m a natural.” Coyote stated with a glint in his eye.

“C’mon” she motioned with her hand to get in the van.

Coyote got in and Hannibal woofed. “Hannibal old man how are you? “The dog barked again, and Tempe asked as she buckled herself in, “so what was so all fire important in the box, I had to deliver it in person?”

Coyote opened the box and pulled out a perfect pear whose fragrance wafted from the box.

“I drove all this way for you to get something you can buy at the grocery store?” She replied disbelievingly.

“Tempest, you can feel the magic right? Your sister magicked this to grow even in the desert. It’s a gift for my mother.”

“You have a mother.” Tempe Teased

"Don’t be silly Tempe we all have a mother". He admonishedher.

As she pulled out of the rest stop, Coyote started to tell her about his mother. The trickster’s voice melodic as she listened and Tempe cut off a semi-truck, the truck’s horn blaring. Tempe not caring was engrossed in Coyote’s story, stomped the gas pedal, and merged into traffic . Tempethought maybe they should see what Spider was up to.