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A Mountain View

A Story Every Day in 2024 March 11th 71/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished 2 years ago 2 min read
A Mountain View
Photo by Luca J on Unsplash

"Why have you brought me here?"

Julia stood in front of the window and looked at the amazing view. The mountains were just breaking the early morning haze and their outlines were hesitating to show themselves but gradually, in the warmth from the sun, they were revealed. Snow striped the steep sides and the lake's milky green contrasted with the slopes' solid greyness.

"Because I thought you'd like it. Because I thought we needed a change."

Julia sighed. It was beautiful but it just added to her sense of unease. She should be ecstatic about being here, about the fact that James had made such an effort arranging it and bringing her here but she didn't want it. She was unsure of his motives and it was unsettling her, especially in light of their recent discord.

"I thought it would give us a chance to talk."

He came up behind her to share the view, placing his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. She managed to suppress the flinch caused by contact with him, she thought, but he'd noticed and it made him hold her all the tighter.

To all outsiders, they were the perfect couple: successful, confident, good-looking, devoted to each other. But James could sense that he was losing Julia. She was gaining in life faster than him and he hated it. Her career was rocketing and he did not want her to have it. He coveted it for himself. He felt he was being left behind and his prideful resentment was uncoiling and fastening itself to Julia to try and limit her.

He didn't recognise that she deserved it. He merely begrudged her having it and how it affected him.

They'd fought and he'd found texts, about leaving him: an extraction plan. He'd come close to hitting her that night, but hadn't.

Yet.

Julia separated his clasped hands from her waist and moved away without turning.

He felt his anger rising and his fists clenched.

"Julia?"

She looked at him and said, "I'm going for a walk." She couldn't bear to be there.

James stood, ramrod straight, his anger fizzing.

"I'll come too."

Julia merely said, "Don't."

***

366 words

There have to be relationships where one partner is envious of what the other achieves and I wanted to explore that here. Reading through it, I am wondering why Julia went with him to this beautiful mountain escape if she was already thinking of leaving him, but isn't it hard to completely end something if it's felt right before?

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read it, please do drop a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

ExcerptLoveMicrofictionShort StoryPsychological

About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:

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Comments (13)

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  • Mariann Carroll2 years ago

    This is a very engaging story, I cannot wait for the sequel!!!!

  • Sandra Matos2 years ago

    To answer your question, sometimes you know that you should leave someone, but you fear that you are being selfish or imagining things. Sometimes, you can feel guilty for not loving them anymore. In this case, you show us that James can be manipulating. Julia is probably feeling unable to find the right way to let James go. Maybe one day you will continue this story, and we can find out! (hopefully)

  • Great image and story , but hope she waits round the corner with a big stick

  • Sian N. Clutton2 years ago

    Oh man, I wish there was more. Poor girl should never have gone there with him after such a huge red flag. I'm intrigued what happens next.

  • I'm more worried about his temper rising so close to the surface. "Almost hit her," "clenched fists"--I hope she has her cell with several bars & someone on speed dial.

  • My ex boyfriend was like this. I took a break from Vocal from August 2022 to December 2022 but I daily still read what everyone published without fail. So it was only a breal from writing, not Vocal itself. So anyway, in December 2022, he for some reason wanted to start writing on Vocal and I encouraged him. I also introduced him to the FB groups. Then January 2023, I started writing again. I was able to see his bitterness whenever I got a Top Story. He would congratulate me but I can hear the bitterness in his voice. So yea, people like this exist. I just don't understand why can't they be happy for their partners. I loved your story very much. Julia deserves better. I hope she divorces James!

  • Shirley Belk2 years ago

    I think the mountain view with the haze was a perfect picture of their relationship status, too. Well done!!

  • D.K. Shepard2 years ago

    Whew! Thick tension! Thought she was going to get pushed out the window!

  • Lana V Lynx2 years ago

    Relationships can be so complicated, especially when one of the partners cannot cheer for the other. Great piece, Rachel!

  • John Cox2 years ago

    Navigating the weak male ego sometimes can be deadly. The thoughts running through James mind increase the dread. Very, well done, Rachel!

  • D. J. Reddall2 years ago

    Ominous. James has a fiendish plan, methinks.

  • It's hard to move on when you still feel something for someone. It takes courage and effort to finally let go. I resonate with Julia. This was amazing.

  • Teresa Renton2 years ago

    Great read Rachel! I don’t know how you do it every day 🤗

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