Mother's Day

As she rounded the corner, she was met with a face that was just like hers.

But Amy could sense that this woman's spirit was different. There was a cautious wariness to her, like she'd been wounded again and again and not all of the scars were sealed or healed. With every movement, she looked cowed.

When Amy had found out she had been adopted, she had been infinitely curious about her mother and was desperate to meet her. She had pursued this information like a hero in an adventure story after a rare prize: to the ends of the Earth.

And now, here she was entering a strange place in a strange town miles away from her home to meet the mother who had birthed her, given her life but then given her away. She had mixed feelings about this meeting: on the one hand she was excited, like an age old secret was about to be revealed; on the other, she was scared as to what would be unearthed.

When Amy had told her adoptive mother, Mary, she had been thoroughly supportive.

"It's only natural that you should want to know about your roots, love," Mary had assured Amy when Amy had gone to her. "I'm here regardless of what happens."

Mary would have been wrong to say that she wasn't a little worried about Amy and what this would mean for the dynamic of their relationship but she had been emotionally preparing herself for years. She loved Amy no matter what and wanted it to go well for her.

Amy stepped towards Sandra, her real mother.

No hint of a smile reached Sandra's eyes and Amy was suddenly fearful of being hurt.

"Hello, Mum," Amy offered, tentatively.

Sandra winced and looked Amy up and down.

Abruptly, she said: "I'm not staying. I know you want answers but..." she tailed off. Then added, determinedly,"I just wanted to see you with my own eyes."

Her expression softened a little.

"I always was selfish."

Amy stared, stunned.

"It's kinder you don't know how you came into the world."

And with that, Sandra turned and walked away.

*

Mary was there within minutes of Amy's call.

***

366 words

I know, I know, Mother's Day (here in the UK) should be a celebration of what being a mother is all about and a joyous thing and for most it is. But there are others for whom motherhood is something else or if they determined not to be a mother, it happened anyway in who knows what circumstances or maybe, there are mothers who can give birth and not always be the mothers who can provide the mothering - whatever that is.

I love being a mum but I see its pitfalls and its demands as well as its joys and its rewards. I wanted to explore from someone else's perspective walking away from motherhood, knowing that it probably would be for the best.

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read it, please do drop a comment as I love to interact with my readers, especially if you've actually read it. Which is not always the case for the few.