74 To Kill a Killer

If I could get away with it, I would kill a killer and do everyone a big favor. Of course, it'd be even sweeter if I did this before he were to actually kill someone. (I say "he" because murder, rape, pedophilia, and even whole wars are all about testosterone, right?)

If I killed a would-be killer before he killed his victim, the math's the same; we'd just be swapping the victims: swapping an innocent dead guy for a killer dead guy. I think everyone would take that trade. It's a good deal. No more dead guys after that.

But killing a killer before he killed someone would make me a killer before the would-be killer is, but the math is still solid:

• His way, one dead guy--the victim.
• My way, the same number of dead guys and victims: one.

But this is a curveball. I would have to be absolutely certain this person was going to kill someone. Soon? Well, not necessarily. They would have to kill someone at some point in the future. Does that really matter? It wouldn't to me.

Just when it seems like a stretch that I know my intended victim were going to kill someone, wait till you get a load of this: What if the person who I'm sure will kill someday feels the same about me? Just playing Devil's Advocate here, but if he were sure about me, then he would be killing me before I killed someone, which of course would be himself. I mean, he'd be right, wouldn't he? Would that be probable cause or just plain murder? Would the way I'd explain it stand in court?

It could get worse. If this guy wanted to kill me before I killed him--what if I were the person he was planning on killing? Should I just mess with him by killing myself? Is suicide killing a killer? I'll think about that later.

What if he were to mess with me by killing himself? If so, should I kill him before he does it to take the credit for killing a killer? Does it work like that?

God, I hope so! It's only self-defense for goodness' sake!