274 Vacancy

Demonous summoned his demon-apprentice, a demon-in-training waited for what seemed like an eternity.

"We've a vacancy," Demonous, a Hellion Vera ("HV"), announced. (Only Hellions Verae were allowed to assign demons-in-training.)

"Cool!" said the demon-in-training.

"Don't be an oxymoron, moron!" Demonous said sternly.

"By the apologies of Medusa's Upscale Updo, I'm sorry." He waited until the apology could reach Demonous. They go very slow reaching the soul of an HV. Finally, he asked, "Sir, who is it? Whose soul am I assigned?"

“You'll be pleased, Zoronadon. I’ve been in the possession business a long time now..."

"Long time...funny. Like an enternity, right?"

"Shut up, Zoronadon. These receptacles are the worst! Your assigned host for possession."

"How so?"

"They're the product of 'gentle parenting.' Used to be they saw their precious turn their head 360º, parents would flip their shit and call the Jesuits. Now these Millennial parents hire holistic therapists and reiki instructors. Might as well drive a Prius.”

"Sad."

"'Fraid it's not our demigod's possession business anymore."

"Sad," Zoronadon repeated.

"Sad? That's the best you can do? You're a demon, for demigod's sake! 'Sad' is so underachieving."

"Decimating, sir."

"Better. But room to improve."

INSTANTANEOUSLY LATER...

"Hello. I'm here to deliver your demon." Zoronadon eyes burned into the Millennial mother.

"I didn't order one. Another fraudulent charge!"

Zoronadon paged through a work order. "Yes, actually, 2010. Right after the last 15 minutes of 'Lost.' You and your husband..."

"Stop," she said, remembering.

"Where is she. Your daughter?"

"Lemme call her," she said.

Zonoradon mused to himself.

An adolescent female. I AM PLEASED! I’ve read a lot of different things with adolescents over millennia, but how nowadays they’re choosing musical theater. Middle school versionsof Grease—nothing more soul-sucking than that. Well, at least it's not another Nutcracker ballet recital—a whole 'nother level of Hell!

"How long will she be possessed?"

"Oh, she already is. Our time lines skew."

"Hmph!" Mom said, "that explains it."

"Her frontal lobes'll close. You'll get your daughter back. About five years."

"What about my son?"

"Post-pubescent sons mature later. Give 'im till he's 18."

"Skewed is right," she grieved. "Tandem possessions—eight years of Hell."

Whereupon pubescent-disruptive-behavior-receptor, "Phoebetrix," walked in.

"'Sup?"

"You're possessed, honey."

"Whatever!"

_________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Monday, September 30, Day 274 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Accompaniment photo is AI, but possessions aren't.

THIS CHALLENGE RAGES ON, 366 SPLIT-PEAS AT A TIME

There are currently three Vocal writers dispossessing in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer (Whatever!)

• Rachel Deeming (Whenever!)

• Gerard DiLeo (Na-never!)