273 We All Come in Threes

Present me, young me, and old me walked into a bar.

"What'll y'all have," Sal, the bartender, asked.

"I'll have what he's having," I said, referring to old me.

"Then," old me said, "A gin-and-tonic."

"Since when?" I asked.

"Since my wife left me."

"I get married?"

"Was she hot?" asked young me.

"Idiot!" old me told him.

"Interesting," I said, "yeah, do tell."

"Including the hotness," added young me.

"Youth is wasted on the young," old me said.

"Affluence is wasted on the old and feeble."

"I may not have any money to show," old me challenged the young me, "but c'mere—I'll show you feeble."

"Have an ID, young fellah?" Sal asked young me.

"He can vouch for me," he said, about me. "I mean, he's me. And if I drink now, it's ancient history for them, right?"

"Nice try, Chief," the bartender told young me.

"My gin and tonic?" the old man reminded.

"Me, too," I added.

"Me, too," repeated young me.

"You'll have a Shirley Temple," Sal suggested.

"That's just not right," I told Sal.

"No," old me said, "it is right."

"Fuck you, old me," young me shouted.

"No, fuck you back. Take inventory, punk. See what kind of mess bad decisions make."

"Thing's ain't so bad," I interjected.

"You, too," he told me. "You've got some bad decisions coming. Look at me! Thanks a lot, asshole."

"Who's the asshole?" I answered. "Things are fine. I can't help it if you took wrong turns and ended up you."

"You still fix it!" he shouted.

"All I know," young me said, "...my take-home pay's enough to live the sweet life—with a bitchin' car and lots of pussy."

"Asshole!" old me called him.

"Asshole!" I agreed.

"Y'know, Sal," I said to the bartender, "when me and young me and old me walked into this bar..."

"Sounds like a joke," Sal said. "But the only joke is you."

"Me?" I said. "Look at these jokers."

"Yea, you. Do you really want to live in the past? Or fret what the future might be? Be yourself! Or you're the asshole."

Me, the young me, and the old me walked into this bar...but I walked out alone.

_________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Sunday, September 29, Day 273 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Accompaniment photo is AI, but incarnations aren't.

THIS CHALLENGE AGES ON, 366 LIFETIMES AT A TIME

There are currently three Vocal writers living in the present in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer (Here)

• Rachel Deeming (There)

• Gerard DiLeo (Everywhere)