240 Social Promotion High School — "Where Success is Automatic!" ™

This is my third year at Social Promotion High School. I don't know what I learned the first two years, but I know my third will be just as important. This year I've signed up for the following courses:

• Sleeping In, from 8 AM to 10 AM
• Coffee and Energy-Drinking, from 10 AM to 11-ish
• Lunch-and-Carbs, from 11-ish AM to Whenever
• Live Television, from Whenever to Whatever
• Rap Poetry Masters, from Whatever to 2:30 PM-ish
• Drunk Driving Course, on Friday afternoons, extending into the weekend

I play on SPHS's football team. We're the Spuds. The "Fightin' Spuds." We have a perfect record, but it's not wins.

GO SPUDS!

Today, during Live Television, we saw some really cool products on the Shopping Network. There was this gun that looks just like a real gun. I think it's because it's a real gun. I can't wait to see the hysterical expressions on the cops' faces. You print the bullets with a 3D printer, which is way cool.

Today's Friday, so it's my Drunk Driving Course. This week I'm learning weaving, texting, and sexting. My instructor is this sexy babe, Borrelia F'spot. How do people get apostrophes in their names? I knew an O'Connor once. Weird.

Borrelia doesn't speak English, but I don't speak it no good neither. Last week she picked me up for instruction and she said, "Sorry...I'm late." But she was on time, so I didn't understand.

"You will when you have your own," she said after that. I didn't understand again. So weird. Sexy, though, and sometimes she drives naked below the waist where other traffic can't see. Cool.

I failed my Pedantic Poetry course last year, but they promoted me anyway.

Don't they always! Just like all the participation medals I've gotten for D&D and the Shoplifting Club. This year, our Strip Bingo Contest is sponsored by Blown Away Hospital, the place they take you when you get blown away. Or almost.

Tonight after Drunk Driving I'll be drunk when the Fightin' Spuds play the Visitors at Low Life Stadium. If we win...then we finally have. So cool.

When I grow up, I want to help people, work for world peace, and kick ass!

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Tuesday, August 26, Day 240 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Accompaniment photos were AI-generated but the promotions were not.

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THIS CHALLENGE MARCHES ON, 366 COOL VIBES AT A TIME..

There are currently three surviving prolific, royal, Vocal legumes still trading cows in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, (Originating Challenger)

• Rachel Deeming (Unchallenged)

• Gerard DiLeo (Challenged)

Read them. Support them. Promote them.