218 10-Course Meal at Cafe Sinai

COURSE THE FIRST: I adore the sins I eat, first and foremost, like a strange god. Garnished. Relish. And the presentation is exquisite. Just the way I like it. Worshipped and served, before me, on a graven plate.

COURSE THE SECOND: I like my blasphemy well-done. It doesn't matter how hot the grille gets or the wattage of the microwave. Over-baked, super-broiled, and re-overheated. Blasphemy's a commitment to the next course, and anticipation doesn't get any hotter than that.

COURSE THE THIRD: I like to skip the Sabbath for all-I-can-eat. The Sabbath is when those deals happen, so count me all-in. A bottomless bucket of fried chicken, endless plate of shrimp, or relentless series of ribs — who has the time to pray? There are calories at stake.

COURSE THE FOURTH: I snub my parents to eat alone. Who needs conversation? More talk means less chewing. Who needs engagement?

COURSE THE FIFTH: I like my murder served cold, for it's a soup that slurps loudly. It spills messily. There's always a lot of cleanup after, but it tastes so good and worth the squander. There's no better contentment like a full stomach with someone out of the way.

COURSE THE SIXTH: I cheat on my wife without indigestion, because it goes down so easy. After all, some delights are just so much more tasty than others. "What, chicken tonight — again!" I look to see what everyone else is eating. Cutlery and coveting go well together on the palate.

COURSE THE SEVENTH: I steal recipes for success and eat them without guilt. It's the only way to gain weight. If you have something I want to eat, don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.

COURSE THE EIGTH: When I say I'm not hungry, don't believe me. It's a lie. A big fat lie from a big fat man. A really hungry man who will say anything to satisfy his desperate hunger.

COURSE THE NINTH: I covet your wife, especially the forks. Consider my cup half-full.

COURSE THE TENTH: I covet your cutlery, especially the extremely sharp knives. I cut to the chase. This has been a great lunch. I'm still on for supper at 6?

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Monday, August 5, Day 218 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N or PS)

Accompaniment photos were AI-generated but the madness was not.

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THIS CHALLENGE GRINDS ON, 366 WORDS AT A TIME...

There are currently three surviving prolific, pathetic, and copacetic Vocal writers still participating in the insane, inane, Spokane 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming (challenge participater)

• Gerard DiLeo (Bulbous Actuator, 4th Class, which is pretty scary when you think about it)

Read them. Support them. And Bon Appétit.