#1 The Lunch Lady Blues... 💙🩵💙

Lancelot "Lucky" Cornellion slowly walked from his third-period civics class toward the lunchroom. He wondered what was on the Tuesday lunch menu. He hoped that it was lasagna. Lasagna always reminded him of fun-filled slip-n-slide kickball summers in Delaware with his grammie Mae, grandpa Donnie & cousin Nitoe.

Rumor had it that Lucky received his nickname from a NICU nurse named Marcella, who took a liking to him when he was born three months prematurely. Lucky was only 1 lb 11 ounces at birth and had not been expected to live. He was his mom's surprise baby that she birthed naturally and unexpectedly at 51 and had been immediately stamped with the moniker Lucky by Nurse Marcella because in her eyes he was lucky to be alive because of the heightened risks associated with his mother's unexpected geriatric delivery.

Out of nowhere, Lucky felt a light punch in his right side. 

"What's crack-a-lackin' Lucky?" He heard a familiar male voice say.

Lucky turned to see that the jab had come from his best friend, Ernie Rivera, aka E. E was a gangly Latinx underclassman who heavily resembled the rapper MGK and was also a bonafide sports fanatic that sported a buzz cut and carried a wicked sense of humor with him everywhere he went.

"Nothing much. Just headin' to the lunchroom. Hey E, why don't you go save us a good spot in the lunchroom, and I'll pick up the same thing for you that I'm getting for me."

"And make sure you seat us close to those visiting cheerleaders from Hawthorne. I'm going to make Roonessa Jefferson mine by dinnertime," Lucky said with a wink and smug grin that showed off his midnight-blue braces.

"Aye aye, Captain. I'm on it, bro! And you know I'm trying to make Flavia Raynor Mrs. Rivera one day soon too," Ernie replied confidently as he pounded his chest like King Kong, then laughed uncontrollably.

"E, you know Flavia is ball and chained in with Jesse Bass and has been for four years now! I hear that they will even be sharing a campus apartment next year at Rulane U. Hang it up, Broski! They are practically common-law husband & wife," Lucky chided disapprovingly.

"Don't hate, bro! A vato can dream, can't he?" Ernie responded with a mischievous grin as he turned and quickly disappeared into a crowd of football players.

It seemed like two years had passed by the time Lucky reached the front of the lunch line.

It looked like lasagna was a no-go;Taco salad was on the menu for the day.

"Oh no, just my luck, Miss Greer is working today," Lucky lamented to himself as he watched Miss Greer gingerly pull a tray of taco salad shells from the oven, a pair of purple oven mitts assisting her with her task. 

Miss Greer was an ornery cafeteria worker that was always giving Lucky a hard time about his appearance and his vernacular as well as a ton of unsolicited advice.

Good morning, Mr. Lancie!" Miss Greer said with a sweet smile.

Only my g-ma gets to call me Lancie. Lucky thought to himself crossly.

"Bay-bee, when are you getting them rope-a-dope dreads cut? They remind me of what Tarzan used to swing on in the jungle. Stop being so off-kilter & eccentric, boy! You are not Bob Marley nor Lil Wayne! You need to get yourself a fresh fade like Michael B. Jordan; then you'll be able to advance in life without any trouble."

"And Bay-bee, those New Balance t-shoes that you are sportin' today have seen better days. Don't go out of the house looking so sloppy, Baby. Remember the young ladies are watching. This is a high school, not a pigpen," Miss Greer said with a slight chuckle.

Anyone with ears could tell that Miss Greer was from the Southern portion of the United States. Her Mississippi drawl told on her every time.

"Michael B. who? Cut me some slack, Cafe Auntie. I stepped in a huge mud puddle this morning when I stepped off the bus. Everyone knows that I keep my kicks in mint condition," Lucky murmured inaudibly under his breath.

"What was that you said? Speak up, son!" Miss Greer said authoritatively.

"Uh, nothing, Cafe Auntie," Lucky ivory-fibbed quickly. 

"You mean nothing, Ma'am. Remember to respect your elders," Miss Greer corrected.

Miss Greer was definitely doing the Dougie on Lucky's last nerve, but his mom had always taught him to respect his elders, so he swallowed his annoyance and put on his "unbothered" poker face.

From her old-school magenta and black cat-eye glasses and her matching magenta-colored bob wig with the skunk stripe of gray hair in the bang area, along with her deep facial forehead lines, Lucky could tell that Miss Greer was born nearly a millennium ago, but didn't she at least know that chickadees flock to dudes with dreads like hungry pigeons flock to crumbs of bread?Lucky shook his head in disbelief at Miss Greer's level of out-of-touchness and then politely accepted his mint green lunch tray of food and can of cola from Miss Greer.

"What are you shaking your head at boy? I'm just trying to give you some friendly advic-c-c-e," Miss Greer said with a slight stutter.

"I don't know what I would ever do without you! Good looking out, Miss Greer," Lucky replied sarcastically, then showcased a fake grin that resembled a ventriloquist's dummy's.

Lucky was so distracted by his aggravating encounter with Miss Greer that he almost forgot to add Ernie's Taco Salad and Cola to his order. Fortunately, when he said that he needed another taco salad and cola for a friend that was saving his seat, Miss Greer obliged without issue.

"See you tomorrow," Miss Greer responded to Lucky with a wave, fully unaware of his sarcasm.

Not if I can help it. Lucky thought to himself.

"Hey Luck, did ring-around-the-nosy offer you any advice today? Ernie inquired as Lucky sat down with their tray of food and placed it on their favorite lunch table strategically nestled near the school's new jukebox.

"Please stop asking stupid questions that you already know the answer to, bro! You know that she's addicted to giving me a hard time, E," Lucky snapped as he quickly changed the subject to what song they should play on the cafeteria jukebox.

"Chilllll Lucky... don't bite my head off for just asking an innocent question. Remember, I still need this head with these lips to kiss Flavia with," Ernie replied to Lucky as he poked out his lips, made a kissy face, then abruptly collapsed into a fit of chuckles.

Over the next four months, on a daily basis, Miss Greer gave Lucky advice about everything from dating and college to saving money and keeping his living quarters clean. Lucky could not take it anymore. He was just a kid that wanted to live his life, and besides, he had a mom at home.

Lucky became so annoyed with Miss Greer's behavior that he even began to bring his lunch from home for a while so that he wouldn't have to have any more unpleasant interactions with Miss Greer.

Finally, one day Lucky's prayers were answered. He heard through the grapevine that Miss Greer was being replaced by some seventy-year-old lady from California.

***

Early one Saturday morning, Lucky's mother asked him to run to the corner store to buy some eggs for breakfast.

His nine-year-old foster sister Krista's play was later that afternoon at four; his mother reasoned that Krista needed to have a good breakfast so that she could have the fuel to do her very best.

But did the family really have to have breakfast that early? It was only 9 am, prime sleep time for a nearly grown man of seventeen like himself.

Why couldn't DoorDash have the honors of doing the egg delivery this morning instead of him? Couldn't Krista just eat air pudding/nada until a decent hour? Boy, was she spoiled... 

Lucky suddenly thought back to all of the welts on his foster sister's neck and arms when she first arrived when she was seven and immediately regretted his line of thinking. The marks on her little neck and arms looked so bad that it looked like she had come into contact with a slave master's whip.

"Little Krista has been through a lot of physical abuse; Lord forgive me. Please give me the strength to show up for her like my boi Batman always does for Gotham City. After having such a tough life, Krista, of all people, definitely deserves a hero in her life," Lucky concluded aloud. 

After hitting the snooze button on his cellphone alarm three times, Lucky reluctantly got out of his state-of-the-art Batmobile bed and headed two streets over to the local 7-Eleven.

Once inside the convenience store, Lucky walked past the front counter and then headed around the corner to the dairy section.

Right as he picked up a carton of eggs to examine them for cracks. He heard an elderly male voice from behind say: "Excuse me, young man. Is your name Lancelot Cornellion?

Lucky turned around to see an elderly, caramel-complexioned, African-American gentleman, who looked to be in his early eighties.

Interestingly, the elderly gentleman had an unforgettable set of azure blue eyes and an uncanny resemblance to the actor James Earl Jones in appearance and vocal tone.

"Yes sir... I'm Lancelot Cornellion," Lucky responded politely.

"Mornin' son, my name is James Allen Greer of Biloxi, MS. I'm Amy-Belle's daddy. I mean Miss Greer's father. Amy-Belle has told me so many good things about you. She told me how bright, handsome, and well-mannered you are... and how much you look like Stevie-Dean, and boy, was she right," the stately octogenarian said as tears suddenly formed in his eyes.

Lucky was stunned. Miss Greer had said all of those nice things about him? He could hardly believe it. This was truly bizarre! And who the heck was Stevie-Dean?

"I know what you're thinking... who is Stevie-Dean? Well, Stevie-Dean is or was my grandson who drowned in the Red River over 4th of July weekend nearly 9 months ago. He was Amy-Belle's only child, and she's really been missing him something awful, so much so that she had to take a temporary leave of absence from her post at the Asphalt High lunchroom," Mr. Greer revealed somewhat somberly.

"Anyhow, she told me that she wanted me to give this to you," Mr. Greer's voice trailed slightly as he handed Lucky a sealed lavender envelope.

"Apparently she got your address from the school secretary. She wanted me to hand-deliver her note to you. She felt that the note would be better received coming from me."

"Coincidentally, I was just headed to your house after I picked up my morning coffee. But it looks like the machine is down today," Mr. Greer added as he nodded toward the broken coffee machine a few feet away that had a poorly written "Sorry Broken" sign on the face of it.

"It's funny. When I saw you walk past, something in my gut told me that you were Lancelot, not to mention that you are the spitting image of Stevie-Dean..."

"Welp... Young man, I won't take up any more of your time. I better get going. It was nice to meet you, son," Mr. Greer concluded right before he walked out of the front door of the convenience store and out into the pouring rain. 

Lucky was in shock. Why would Miss Greer say such nice things about him behind his back but do nothing but berate him to his face? Perhaps the envelope that he had just received from Mr. Greer would give him some clues about the matter.

After purchasing his eggs, Lucky sprinted back toward his house in an effort to avoid the rain. Once he reached his front stoop, he anxiously opened the envelope that Mr. Greer had given him with unsteady hands.

The envelope contained a four-page letter that read:

Dear Lancelot,

Where do I begin? I'm so sorry if it feels like I am being hard on you when I give you advice, but I recently lost my son, and you two could really be twins, both medium-brown-skinned, slightly fluffy, cornbread-fed young brothas with a penchant for dreads. It's funny you two were only two years apart in age. Both into football and both just beginning to date seriously. 

I apologize... I'm just rambling a bit now, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry if I have ever offended you with any of my remarks. I guess I've just been telling you things that I'll never get to tell my son. Please forgive me.

My sister recently told me that my mouth can be treacherous at times. I thought that she was just being dramatic since she's been telling me that for years, but the Holy Spirit recently revealed to me that she was spot on and that it was time for me to take heed. Lol

Also, all of the unkind behavior that I see modeled on the news each night has taught me that this world is severely love-starved and that it desperately needs more "surrogate mommas" to infuse love into the atmosphere and to fiercely protect the next generation.

Looking back, I think that the unsolicited advice that I was offering you was just my way of doing my part. God showed me that I just need to work on my delivery a bit. Lol

You know... it is such a small world. Believe it or not, my sister and I ran into your mother in the grocery store, and I discovered that my sister Marcella was your NICU nurse seventeen years ago.

Your mom, who was in line in front of us, was delighted to show us your recent Senior picture on her cellphone and to highlight your 3.9 GPA and Quarterback and Afro-prince achievements, as well as your 2025 Notable High School Achievers award.

Marcella said that God definitely gave you an extra dose of faith when he created you. She said that whenever your breathing was labored when you were in the NICU, she would play the song "Melodies From Heaven" on her boombox, and your breathing would suddenly correct itself, and a peaceful smile would erupt upon your face. She said that it was one of the sweetest things that she had ever witnessed.

Lancelot, whether you realize it just yet or not, you have a huge calling on your life. Always remember to stay tapped in with God & his precepts. He will keep you safe. Now, please go be great, young man! I'm rooting for you!

Sincerely,

Miss Amy-Belle Greer

P.S. I remember you telling me that you like history and that you are interested in attending Rulane University next year. Rulane is my alma mater. Perhaps I can help you with your letter of interest.

My older brother is also one of the deans in the history department. I can arrange a campus tour if you are interested. Please feel free to email me at [email protected] if you ever need help with anything or if you and your momma ever want to go on that campus tour. 

Suddenly Miss Greer's overbearing behavior made sense to Lucky; she had reminded him more than once to learn to swim. Now after hearing that her son Stevie-Dean had recently drowned, he understood why that skill was so important to her. 

Miss Greer's heartwarming letter had truly lit a fire under Lucky. He couldn't wait to start preparing his letter of interest for Rulane and to tell his mom and his boi Ernie about Miss Greer's kind words and campus tour offer.

"Rulane University, I'm coming for you!" Lucky giddily shouted as he stood up and then moonwalked across the front porch in a fit of glee.