You're Bacon me Crazy!

Hello. My name is Bacon and I have something to say. I feel like I've lost some steam of being everyone's favorite food over the years and I've decided I'm done staying quiet. You all love me, you wrote poems of me that went like this:

                         Ode To Bacon

"I like to think of a world where bacon was a person, much more than friend or foe

‘Tis our beloved swine after all; an American treasure, not some average Joe

With unmatchable strength, and charm to boot, he’d be the world’s protector

A world where myths and legends exist; like a movie with no director

Like a hero cut straight from a comic book, he’d fight evil when crime was hot

Either a pig with powers of a man or a man with powers of a pig, it matters not

He’d be cherished by most, the icon that he is, though not all would be fun and games

Plagued as a greasy devil, a fatty demon in disguise, only one could give such names

Vegans would march forward, targeting him as public enemy number one

Sides would be taken, wars would be fought, even after all he had done

You see, a world with a hero isn’t always a plus

Instead we were blessed with bacon the way it is, no need for all that fuss

A silent savior, a comforter of taste buds. It’s the way it has to be

‘Cause a world without bacon at all? Well that’s just blasphemy!"

Those are just some of the great things people used to say about me. They used to worship me, tell stories and legends of me. Share amazing artery clogging recipes of me. I was on top of the world. Elvis loved me, dogs yearned for me to fall off the counter top just to get a taste of me, people would find new ways to consume me in over the top ways. But now, I'm "not good for you," I "make your cholesterol too high." My people betrayed me.

It all changed when vegan Nation attacked. Plant based this, meat alternatives that. I, bacon, have been forgotten. I'm old news. Like seriously, we're trying to copy my style by using banana peels to taste like me?! What has this world come to? But my moment to rise up from the soy crumbled ashes has only just begun!

Summer is upon us and I'm here to make a stand to become the best summer food yet again. Grill me, smoke me, wrap me around what ever you want, I'm back baby. Don't forget all the memories we used to share, filling your belly, making you happy.... Definitely made you run out breath playing Frisbee at that family bbq, but hey, I meant it out of love. Sure, I'm not the healthiest for you, but I swear I'll be better, just take me back.

Remember when you'd pile a pound of me all over that juicy flame-grilled burger? Juicy fat glistening in the sun, dripping from that bacon wrapped chicken leg? My porky goodness can not be replaced and don't you dare forget about me.

I am the epitome of summer, the best topping choice, the best side dish, the main attraction. Smokey, meaty, and better than ever. I'm still here and I've never left. Let's go back to the good old days and I swear you'll thank me for it in the end, I'll even cover that hospital bill from that potential heart attack I might cause later down the line. It's the least I could do!

So this summer, remember to make America Bacon again. Chop me up, mix me in some butter and drizzle me on corn. Put me in your salads. Garnish me in your dang beer or wine cooler, I don't know man, I'm desperate here!