Where Everybody Knows Your Name (and Soft Drink Preference)

Before the advent of the internet, I remember the days of travelling with my parents and the Mobile Travel Guide. My Mom would peruse the latest volume, circling the motels and restaurants with the most stars for our stop-overs and vacation destinations. There were symbols indicating the price range and wheelchair accessibility. As life went on, I found myself working for over 20 years in a day program for adults with intellectual and physical disabilities. At the same time, my mother became increasingly physically disabled and needed my help with daily activities and leaving the house. Taking her out in her wheelchair was a major endeavor as I packed her pill boxes, flexible straws, Lifesavers for her chronic dry mouth, tissues, plastic bags in case her catheter bag leaked...even a hammer in the event that her footrest fell apart! We recalled those Mobile Travel Guides and joked about making money compiling reviews of accessible businesses and restrooms. We would give gold stars to “good” bathrooms and “handicap friendly” environments.

Over time, I had both unsatisfactory experiences with inaccessible businesses and very pleasant ones with welcoming establishments. I still recall the parent of two adult sons with disabilities who told me that, on their usual Friday night meal out, the staff at a specific pizza place informed her that establishment could not accommodate her adult son’s power wheelchair. Angered, I wanted to co-write a complaint letter to the franchise with her, but that specific place went out of business shortly thereafter. Another holiday meal establishment blocked off the handicapped entrance at Christmas time so my mother could not go inside and select the condiments and side dishes for our holiday meal. Furthermore, when I voiced my dissatisfaction with the situation, the staff person was less than concerned. They continued to rope off the handicap ramp at the next holiday season rush. I think attitude goes a long way in these areas. When I was having trouble getting my mother’s wheelchair into the door of a locally-owned health food store, the owner came and held the door for us, apologizing for the tight spaces and promising to fix the situation. He later installed an automatic door switch. With the idea of inclusion and warm welcome in mind, I will introduce my favorite local, inexpensive family-dining restaurant.

Brothers Family Diner in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, was once named Bert Brothers Restaurant. In the 1980’s this local favorite served ice cream, burgers, and meals in close proximity to Messiah College (now Messiah University). As a college student, I often stopped late in the evening for ice cream sundaes or ate dinner there with my visiting family members. About a decade later my favorite fair trade organization, Ten Thousand Villages, built a store next door to the eatery, providing a convenient shopping and dining experience. Then the highway access was moved farther away from the restaurant, probably decreasing the number of visitors, so much so that the evening hours were cut back. Breakfasts and lunches became the main focus.

Don’t let the word diner mislead you. There are no silver chrome accents or dusty, dirty corners like the diners of my New Jersey youth. The interior has always been bright and clean, currently decorated with humorous signs and old school Hollywood photographs of Audrey Hepburn, Elvis Presley, and the like.

The establishment has changed ownership over the years, but you can still find buffalo burgers on the menu as well as ample portions of French fries and a wide selection of ice cream treats. The current owner has a Greek background, so I enjoy the Greek salad (complete with anchovies, black olives, and lots of feta cheese) and spanakopita (spinach pie). They also serve gyros. The menu is rather expansive with all sorts of burgers and sandwiches, meals, soups, and salads, even a senior menu. In addition, a variety of cakes and baked goods are brought in regularly. With my limited budget, I priced burgers at other family-style restaurants, and Brothers is a great value for your dollar.

Aside from the decent quality, inexpensive food, my focus is primarily on the accepting atmosphere promoted by a majority of the wait staff and the owner (Gina) who often acts as a waitress. You see, I began taking my friend, Mr. M, there for lunch after church. Mr. M was a former client of mine, who contracted polio as a child, resulting in both intellectual and physical disabilities. Now in his mid-seventies, he is non-ambulatory and uses a wheelchair but loves to go to church and get a burger, soda, and cake afterwards. Very personable and with an eye for the ladies, he greets EVERYONE he sees, regardless of age or station. He also has a hard time waiting, and the waitresses know that, so they warn me if the wait is long and try to seat him in his favorite spot, the sunroom, with the big picture windows and glass chandeliers

Many of the servers also know our preferences and will automatically bring Mr. M his diet soda and me my unsweetened iced tea. They are patient as Mr. M’s hand dexterity is limited, so there is always a pile of crumbs and food scraps under his wheelchair, and Gina will often bring him wet napkins or a cloth after he smears cake icing everywhere. After drinking coffee at church, Mr. M usually gets halfway through his meal and will suddenly announce, “I have to go to the bathroom!” Although he wears disposable briefs, he hates the indignity of wetting himself, so I need to whisk his wheelchair to the restroom at the other end of the restaurant as quickly as possible, squeezing past the tables of seniors and often getting caught on handbags and sweaters hung over the back of chairs. All the while Mr. M is loudly proclaiming his urgent need to use the toilet. This can cause quite a scene, and, even though I often ask Mr. M if he needs to use the restroom upon arrival, it is always not until the middle of the meal that he feels the urge.

When I get to the bathrooms, I have to see if the 2-stall ladies' room is empty so I can bring a man inside, especially as I cannot close the stall door to lift him from his wheelchair onto the toilet. If the ladies’ room is full, I then knock on the door to the gentlemen's room to see if I (a woman) can enter without embarrassing anyone. I understand that Brothers was built decades ago, and there is a stall in each restroom that meets minimum ADA requirements. However, aside from the struggles of our transgender neighbors, I would advocate for separate single stall/family restrooms to be installed in future buildings because disabled adults sometimes have a caregiver of the opposite sex.

Mr. M usually was not shy about sharing his life with the waitresses and other customers at Brothers Family Diner, especially the struggle between his desire to be baptized and his fear of the water and new experiences. The Sunday that the pastors successfully baptized him by showing him the basin of water beforehand, everyone in Brothers heard about it! A server named Darla announced the exciting news of her pregnancy and subsequent birth to Mr. M, and a young man found Mr. M’s presence to be a source of personal encouragement to him. An older gentleman also often encouraged his grandchildren to make a point of greeting Mr. M as we all became frequent after-church regulars. In turn, Mr. M made sure everyone knew the date of his upcoming birthday. He was also quick to compliment someone’s beard, hair, or shirt and noticed military emblems.

Once he told a man that he looked like Chuck Norris, and the man smiled and said, “I get that all the time!”

Another time Mr. M said, "Hey, that guy looks exactly like Donald Trump," as I was pushing his wheelchair past some tables. I pushed more quickly to exit the area, hoping no one heard!

Once, when I shared about the ministry of a local outreach to at-risk women with Gina, she volunteered to consider hiring any ladies sent her way. What a big heart! In fact, I had not realized that Gina was the owner for quite a while as she often waited on our table. I had wrongly assumed she worked only as a waitress. Yet, that is just like her ...making sure her customers are well served. I salute you for welcoming ALL of our community, Brothers Family Diner!!!

POST SCRIPT: I have tried to avoid indoor dining until my second Covid-19 vaccination takes effect, but Mr. M, due to his high vulnerability to the virus, has mostly been confined to his group home for the last year. I know he eagerly anticipates returning to church and eating hamburgers again!