I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED BY NOW

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED BY NOW…

I still remember the day my girlfriend, Ngozi, scolded me for my misplaced priorities.

We had been together for almost two years, but I spent more time watching football than talking to her.

“Babe, do I mean anything to you?” she asked in a shaky voice.

I ignored her, too caught up in the match to listen. But she wasn't having it. She turned off the TV and confronted me.

“We barely spend time together,” she said, tears threatening to stream down her cheeks.

“You're always talking about yourself, your friends, and football. You barely have time for me.”

I got defensive, even though I knew she was right. I was selfish and insensitive. We argued, and she left angrily.

Days turned into weeks, and I didn't hear from her. I thought she was just angry, but as the months went by, the reality hit me— she had broken up with me.

I visited her at work, hoping to win her back, but her mind was made up.

“I've forgiven you, Etim, but it's over between us,” she said, her voice firm yet gentle.

“You need to learn about healthy relationships and work on yourself.”

That was the last time we spoke.

A few months later, I saw her pre-wedding photos on social media, and my heart sank.

As I looked closer at the photos, I discovered that her fiancé was my best friend, Alex and I couldn't help but wonder how this happened.

I recalled the days after our breakup when Ngozi would often meet Alex for coffee or lunch.

At that time, I didn't read any meaning to it. I just assumed they were just being supportive friends since they had similar career paths.

But as I looked back, I realized that their seemingly harmless conversations had transitioned into something deeper.

One conversation stood out in my mind.

Alex had told me about how Ngozi had confided in him about her struggles with our relationship. He had listened attentively, offering words of encouragement and support.

“I'm so glad you're here for me, Alex,” Ngozi once said to him, her voice filled with emotion. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I care about you, Ngozi,” Alex replied sincerely. “You deserve someone who will prioritize you and make you happy, not someone who treats you like a ghost.”

As I kept staring at the pre-wedding photos, I couldn't help but feel jealous.

“How did Alex get the woman I couldn't keep?” I thought to myself.

“Hey, man,” Alex said when I reached out to him about his engagement to Ngozi.

“I know you're probably feeling a bit surprised, but I hope you're happy for us.”

“I'm just surprised,” I said, trying to control my emotions.

“You two seem perfect for each other,” I masked my bitterness with sincerity.

“Yes, we are,” Alex responded excitedly.

“Ngozi is an amazing person, and I'm grateful to have her in my life.”

In a few years, I'd be 35, and I'm still single, and reflecting on my past mistakes. I've learned a lesson the hard way— that relationships require work, communication, and empathy. I'm currently seeking wisdom and guidance to ensure I don't repeat the same mistakes.

Don't be like Etim.

Relationships are complex and multifaceted. They require effort, understanding, and communication from all parties involved. By acknowledging our flaws and weaknesses, we can work towards building stronger, and more meaningful connections with others.

Till I write to you again, I remain PAT-IDEHEN EMMANUEL, Your Favorite Writer and Amazing Pencil Drawing Artist.


PS: What other healthy relationship tips do you suggest? Kindly share your thoughts.

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