Carnivore!

have a confession. I am a carnivore. I’m also extremely weird. Let me explain the carnivore part first.

You see, I LOVE meat. I can eat chicken, literally, every single day and not get tired of it. Porkchops? Bring it on. Beef? Oh, heaven! And that’s just listing the basic. I think the only meat I don’t like is fish (and even then, some get a pass like canned tuna fish) and slimy seafood like oysters. And the only reason I don’t like ham is the salt content but when I can get my hands on a ham that is unsalted, oh, delish!

I can literally salivate over a raw steak at the market. I stare at the meat thinking how I want to sink my teeth into it. I am not really thinking of how I should cook the meat, just eating it.

Once my most recent ex was making a dish where he took shredded beef and was dipping it into olive oil. Now I can’t have oil, or I get sick. I did not care, I’ll get sick. I was impatiently waiting for him to get done and he scoffs at me, “God! You’re such a carnivore!”

Carnivore? No, I’m not. I’ll eat a salad here or there. I do love corn and rice. Potatoes and sweet potatoes are good. I might even nibble on some broccoli but, and my family knows this, if it’s green, I don’t really like it. Green peas? Ewww. Green beans? Disgusting! Lettuce? Only if I’m a rabbit. I teased my sister years ago when I told her that a whopper is healthy. I argued it had lettuce and tomatoes in it. That was the extent of veggies I like. A leaf or two of lettuce, a slice or two of tomatoes and a HUGE meat patty…And the only reason I’ll eat them is because I know I need fiber to pass the meat through…. I thought everyone was like this!

I remember my ex, when I took turns cooking with his sister, asked me what was for dinner. I asked him what was the meat? He asked, “Do you HAVE to have meat to cook a meal?” Well…yes. It’s not dinner (or breakfast for that matter) if there is no meat. The ONLY time I may not eat meat is lunch. I may eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or something like that. But if I have a bowl of cereal for breakfast than, dammit, I want some meat for lunch!

We had ribs one day. I’ve been struggling financially ever since I lost my good paying job over 7 years ago. I don’t get ribs very often. I can’t remember the last time I had a steak. I gorged. Really, I gored. I sat back feeling like a snake that just ate a dog or something and groaned.

“That’s what you get when you eat a whole brontosaurus!” my ex teased me.

Maybe my family branched off of Raptors and T-rexes rather than mammals and maybe that gene is far more turned on in me than my other siblings.

But I don’t think it fully turned on. I don’t like organ meat. Want to make me vomit? Feed me liver, let me just smell liver or kidneys. The thought of eating beef heart or tripes literally makes me sick so I know I’m not pure carnivore, but I think that carnivore gene came out extremely strong in me.

Even my sisters, who do love meat, think so. They balk when I said I tried frog legs and liked them. I want to try alligator tails. Deer is okay, a little too gamey but if it’s the only meat in town….

Now let me explain my weird side. I love animals. I could NEVER buy live lobsters and cook them. No, they would become my pets. In fact, one time another ex (before the ex that makes fun of me for loving meat) took me to an expensive restaurant for our anniversary. I ordered lobster. The waiter asked me to pick the one. I told him to pick it for me. If I had to see them swimming around, I’d not be able to pick one, so I told him to pick one and make sure it’s only a pound to a pound and a half. Now I’m used to Red Lobster. You order a lobster, they bring out the tail, right? So that’s what I’m expecting here.

No, they bring out the WHOLE lobster. So now I have this lobster looking at me and I can’t eat. My ex asks me what’s wrong. I told him I can’t eat it; it’s looking at me. Literally, he laughs and says that the lobster is dead, it can’t see you. I said I don’t care; I can’t eat it.

The waiter comes back and asks if everything is okay. I said, no it’s not okay. I wasn’t expecting the whole lobster and I can’t eat this because it’s looking at me. The waiter laughs at me, takes it away and brings back only the legs and the claws.

I once went to a Hispanic bar-b-que where they had a whole pig roasting. I sent a friend to make me a plate. I couldn’t take looking at the whole pig with chunks missing. So now you’re thinking, how can I love and eat meat and love animals?

I’m a believer in nature. We eat meat. We also eat veggies, fruits, nuts and other things but we also eat meat. Your caveman (Raptor/T-rex for my family) hunted for meat, yet they just started keeping dogs for pets. Even wild cats can feel compassion for animals. One jaguar killed a baboon that had a little baby clinging on the momma baboon’s back. When the jaguar saw there was a baby, it immediately dropped its kill and started licking and cleaning the baby and taking care of it. When a lioness killed a deer that was just about to give birth, it immediately stopped eating the deer and actually tried to bring life to the dead baby dear that was still in the womb of the momma deer. Another lioness found a baby deer by itself and started raising the baby deer as her own. I think that one lost her cubs.

So, when I think of my fellow carnivores that actually do their own hunting showing compassion towards their kills, I think, maybe I’m not so weird after all. Maybe I’m just more in tune with them because my carnivore gene is more turned on then others.

Well, time to go eat my pork chop…