An App-Snackin’ Foodie’s Super Sunday

We didn't think it could happen. A Super Bowl in The Year of Covid Hell in a Hand Basket? No bubbles can be that big - to encompass that many players, coaches and staff over the course of a 7 month season in ways that would keep those fine-tuned millionaires Covid-free? Impossible. But we were wrong. Despite major virus hits to the Steelers, Ravens and Titans with the Broncos losing badly to the repeatedly protocol-breaking Saints while having "essentially no quarterbacks on the field", this stubborn season happened. To top it off and for the first time ever, the Super Bowl was scheduled to take place in a city with a pro team on the field, essentially giving the Tampa Bay Buccaneers a home Super Bowl game to win. Which they resoundingly did, much to my KC-crazed dismay. (There should be a rule against having a coach on the field. DAMN that Tom Brady).



Taking all of this year's B.S. into consideration, the food had to be distractingly great. My sister Robin - not much of a football fan, but a lover of event planning and good gnosh, stepped up to the plate. I mean… scrambled all over the field-kitchen gathering the necessary ingredients to rival Thanksgiving in sheer calories consumed and taste buds made blissfully numb. She came out of her room that morning with a clipboard filled with printed recipes from Carb-Free Finger Food for Football Fans. Say that ten times fast! To add to the game day excitement with a serious challenge in “shopping for the necessary dinks and dunks that make or break the spread” category, a snow storm hit with a foot of the white stuff set to block any last minute dashes to the grocery store. Hunker down, team, and make do with what the pantry and fridge provide! The coin was tossed. Poppers and wings or Ripped Smokies and Guac-topped Sliders? A fat-bomb feast for queens that would roll out in waves as the commercial-curious, beer-free-furious, bacon-laden ladies of the Chez Wray Super Bowl Par-tay gathered to mix the drinks and prepare for snacking.



Here's where the twist in our food-plot comes in - you may have caught the foreshadowing. My household of four women sheltering through this year-long storm has racked up six solid weeks on the Keto diet. So... no beer. (I know there is Ultra, but I'd rather fight my dog for a drink from the toilet). No potato skins, breaded wings, bread sticks, fruity girlie drinks. No wine, no ordering out for pizza. It’s a moratorium on Italy’s finest contributions to my mouth! This extreme roadblock to a decades-long predilection for carbs and more carbs with drinks made from wheat and sugar, was no Darren Sproles-sized thing. Still Robin persevered, launching that fierce and focused mind at the ‘fridge with unwavering intent. Great finger food would be made. Vodka would be consumed. And someone, by our bedtime, would be holding the Lombardi Trophy high and kissing babies. 



First up, Spicy Jalapeño Poppers to beat the band - a task made harder after seeing the Weekend kick tail and take names during the halftime show. Let's say this one was a tie: an impressive ten points to the Weekend and a full 10 points to those delicious, biting, juicy, stretching-cheese-deep, mouth-attacking-after-the-fact packages of perfection! Inspired to craft your own adjective-laden memory line? Here's how we inspired our pens to greatness:

Not Yer Mama’s SPICY JALAPENO POPPERS

5 ounces of cream cheese, 1/4 c mozzarella, 8 medium jalapeño peppers, 1/4 tsp each of salt & pepper, 1/2 tsp of Mrs. Dash and 8 slices of bacon.

Per person.

Preheat the oven to 400F while you slice all the peppers in half and scrape out the seedy guts with a wee spoon.

Mix the cream cheese, Mozzarella, and spices in a bowl. Add cayenne for the adventurous among you.

Pack that goodness into each green boat of blistering bliss and place the other half of the pepper on top.

Wrap those fiery green, God-given torpedos in 1 slice of bacon each, starting from the bottom. Toothpick 'em if needed.

Fill a cookie sheet and bake for 20-25 minutes.

Finish with a 2-3 minute broil.

Voila - the perfect tongue pillow for a very spicy girl.

Accompanying those perfect poppers that this adventure-loving redhead found spectacularly talented at distracting me from an increasingly unbalanced and un-fun football game were a bowl or two of shrimp with cocktail sauce. Nothing fancy, just a pre-cooked, protein-packing Keto Kween's answer to a need for easy food to clear a palette of lopsided play on the screen. Sigh. Tape that man's ankle, dammit!

Some liked it hot, others LOVED it at a level 11 scald, all of us surprised by a few mild and subdued outliers on that heavenly platter. We loaded our plates, ears steaming, eyes streaming, praise in a steady wave of gospel hallelujahs for those heavenly Poppers. An absolute winner. Then the wings came flying out to the living room on large platters the shape of each team’s logo. Robin was killing it!

(My Chiefs, not so much). These chicken bits and bites were crispy and cooked without any pink inner concerns. The usual breading skipped to keep on the keto program, the wings and drums were prepared without carbs or any added sugar. They were perfectly done, crispy, dripping with garlic and butter and covered with a generous handful of fresh cilantro. Delish!

We ate them as is, buttery smiles all around, but adding a side of your favorite sauce would work, too. Ta da!

PERFECTLY CRISP Baked Chicken Wings

You need: 3 Lbs chicken drumsticks and wings, 1/4 C butter, 1 tsp baking soda, 2 tsp baking powder, 1 Tbsp salt, fresh cilantro.

*Put all of your chicken into a plastic bag and shake well to mix the baking soda, baking powder and salt.

*Lay out all the chicken pieces on a wire rack and set in the fridge overnight.

*When ready, position a rack in the top middle position and pre-heat your oven to 450F.

*Bake for 20 minutes then flip and bake for 15 minutes more, until very crisp.

*Toss with butter and cilantro, some garlic if it suits your beloved, and serve. Your favorite sauce can also be used, as these perfect wings hold up extremely well slathered with all kinds of goodness. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum.

It’s a four-way yes!

The crew was reaching the topping-off point. Due to a slow start to the game - OK, a boring start to the game, and so many wandering scents crossing paths between the kitchen and the living room… we were called by our twitching noses to sniff the hearth where I was heartily hand-spanked for sneaking a wing out from under our hawk-eyed cook’s heated gaze. My punishment was a cutting board, a slab of bacon and a pile of mini weenies 8 inches high, to prep the easiest dish of the day. Wanna make your own? Here you go:

BBQ Bacon-Wrapped SMOKIES with Raita (Traditional Indian Yoghurt)

Pre-heat the oven to 375F.

Cut each bacon slice into quarter pieces, so you have 24 quarter-slices of bacon.

Place a little smokie on top of the quartered slice of bacon and roll that little piglet in its blanket so there is a small amount of overlap. Toothpick ‘em and repeat with the rest of the wee weenies, filling a cookie sheet with them.

Note: The cookie sheet will clean up better if you use foil or parchment before piling on the piggies.

Bake for 25 minutes.

After 25 minutes, baste the smokies with the BBQ sauce of your choice and close the oven door for another 10-12 minutes of cooking.

Remove from the oven, let cool slightly and serve with extra BBQ sauce and *Raita in small bowls for dipping the Demi-dogs.

(That combination of smoky-spiced BBQ, the sweet weight of the weenies wrapped in a crisped coat of bacon then dipped into a pool of cooling raita was a winner here on Super Bowl Sunday. Here's the final delight:

Traditional Raita (yoghurt condiment or dipping sauce)

• 1/2 cup plain yogurt

• 1/2 cup chopped seeded English hothouse cucumber

• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

• 2 teaspoons chopped green onions

• 1/4 teaspoon ground coriander

• 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

Next year, maybe a keto break to raise a cold one to the end of this oddest of years and the start of our next big foodie feast. 
Go Chiefs!