A Recipe For Poor Man's Crepes

Since I've been keeping to myself even more than usual since Covid-19 hit in March, I've been trying to rebalance my skill set with all of this extra time I found on my hands. While I've had several craft projects from fabric painting to wood burning, one of the big gaps on my resume was cooking. Since I've had roughly half a year of experimentation in my kitchen at this point, I figured it was time to step back and share some of my more successful recipes with you fine, discerning readers.

This little project started when I realized I had a can of pie filling in my cabinet, and I had zero idea what the hell to do with it (baking is still witchcraft as far as I'm concerned). So I figured I'd see whether it was possible to make a knockoff version of one of the more difficult breakfast items out there... and for my two cents, this works pretty damn well.

Also, if you'd like a low-calorie dessert to keep in the fridge for later, check out my previous installment Creamy Yogurt Jello: An Ideal Dessert For Those Looking To Lose Weight. Additionally, if you're looking for other fun reads with occasional cooking and crafting articles thrown into the mix, don't forget to check out my full Vocal archive!

What You'll Need

Poor man's crepes aren't hard to make, and they don't require much on your end. All you're going to need is:

- A frying pan and spatula

- Cooking spray or butter (whichever you prefer, I prefer actual butter)

- Soft tortilla shells (I use flour, but other options are possible)

- Pie filling fruit (apple, cherry, and blueberry have all gotten me lovely results)

- Toppings (syrup, powdered sugar, whipped cream, etc.)

And that's basically it!

Step One: Prep Your Pan, and Your "Crepe"

The first thing you should do is prep your crepe. Take a tortilla, and lay it out on the counter, or a plate. Add some of your pie filling of choice (you don't want to overfill it, and that fruit is a lot more filling than you think once you start eating), and then wrap it like a burrito. If you've never worked at a Qdoba before, this instructional at Kitchn should help!

While you can fold your tortilla in other ways (such as simply folding it in half with the fruit inside to make a kind of breakfast quesadilla, but with fruit), the burrito wrap is the one most likely to keep all your fruit inside. Feel free to experiment with your own style, though!

Once you have your crepe-rito filled and wrapped, spray your pan with cooking spray, or put some butter in it. Then turn the stove on (medium heat works quite well in my experience), and let it warm up a bit.

Step Two: Let Each Side Get a Little Brown

Set your crepe in the pan with the seam side down first. The heat will stiffen up the tortilla, and make it less likely to fall apart when you flip it over. Leave it just long enough to brown lightly on one side, then flip it over and give the same treatment to the other side.

If it feels warm enough to eat at this point, you can skip straight to step three. Just to be safe I usually put my fake crepe in the microwave for an additional 30 seconds.

Step Three: Accessorize, and Enjoy!

Once your crepe is lightly seared and heated up, add whatever toppings you want to it! My personal preference is a light coating of syrup, followed by a sprinkling of powdered sugar or powdered caramel vanilla coffee creamer (don't knock it till you try it), with a dollop of either whipped cream or Cool Whip on top.

The whole thing takes maybe 10 minutes to make, if that, and it's pretty damn cheap to boot. It might not be a genuine crepe, but considering what a pain those can be to make this is a very close second in my book.

Tips For The Calorie Counters Out There

One of the particular challenges of quarantine cooking has been keeping an eye on my calorie count for the day. So if you want to enjoy poor man's crepes without feeling like you need to do a hundred extra push-ups, consider some of the following tricks.

- Light pie filling has about half the calories of normal pie filling (60 per serving, so at most 120 per crepe).

- Stevia and other sugar replacements work wonders as toppings. Ditto for sugar-free syrup, because it mixes in with the butter and fruit flavor to just become more background sweetness.

- Seriously, don't skimp on the whipped cream. There's practically nothing in it but nitrogen, and it can make you feel like you've eaten more than you have.

Additionally, I'd recommend any folks out there who want to try to slim down while social distancing check out my article How I Lost 40 Pounds By Eating More Taco Bell. Of course it's around 50 pounds, now, which is about where I'm trying to stay.