Where are the Boys?

Over the last one week, I have been caught up in a series of events, among them team building, talks and interactive workshops. One that particularly stood out was a team building activity over the weekend where we ventured into the Aberdare Forest. The team was composed of 11 ladies and only 4 gents. As we enjoyed the trails, one of the ladies questioned at one of the stops, “But why do we have just 4 gents with us? Where are the rest?” This ignited a further heated discussion with another member of the team adding, “Nowadays boys are nowhere to be seen compared to back in the day.” The final member wrapped it up by saying that they are in business and a majority of their clientele are typically women. This caught me thinking for a minute. It took me back to yet another gathering I had attended two days prior, where boys and men were being reprimanded for failing to assume their roles. So, how did we get ourselves here?

Numerically, the male gender is known to be less compared to their female counterparts globally but at the same time, they are the backbone of the society. It depends on them for continuity. They are meant to demonstrate leadership, care and provide for their dependents as well as provide security and protection. But in reality, this is not the case. In a book dubbed, In Caged: The Cry of a Boy Child, co-authored by William Kingori and Jane Mugo, the two writers unpack the jargon consuming the boy child in modern-day society. In the book, they note that a continuous neglect of the boy child has resulted in them being labeled as weak. Does this pose the boy as one of the most endangered species? We are seeing women increasingly assuming leadership roles, fitting in capacities to provide and a host of other tasks that were once spearheaded by men. This poses a danger to the society. The masculine energy is slowly fading away and if this trend continues, we may find ourselves in a similar situation we were with the girls a while back where we even saw feminists emerge to push for the rights of women and girls.

But, where exactly are they? What is eating up our boys? I will attribute this trend to how the society is raising boys and the expectations placed on them, not considering the realities and the position of the current world. Their plight has been ignored, very little support is offered to them, they lack mentorship and worse still, in cases with absentee and irresponsible fathers. This has left many with very minimal chances to showcase and express themselves and when it gets tragic, they bow to pressure. What results is they cry and suffer in silence, battle with low self-esteem, some engage in crimes, while others try to find solace in drugs. Drugs don’t offer solutions either, they make things worse, killing their dreams and visions. Later, when these boys mature, they graduate to men and these challenges become even more intense, evidenced by gender-based violence, dysfunctional families and failed marriages.

We all have a part to play in building and developing the nation. This entails each individual putting their effort to do what they do best, making income for themselves, their dependents, as well as paying taxes, equating us as responsible citizens. When a part is not participating in applying their skills, a gap is left, their areas of expertise are left unattended, affecting the overall performance of the nation. This too, is a risk to the nation.

What next for the boys? It is the high time that a key emphasis is placed on saving this endangered species, otherwise we will lose the society as a whole and hinder it from realizing its full potential. We are seeing corporates and religious institutions at the forefront in coming up with initiatives to empower and bring together boys and men in their vicinity. Such initiatives will significantly boost and provide safe havens where boys and men can share and support one another to grow and be men enough. The government too, needs to come up with more programs to engage and create more opportunities for the boys.