We Fell Hard

The cool autumn breeze tousled the waves of blonde that fall from my scalp. Awestruck at the beauty of the season, my breath caught under the newly formed ball of fervor that threatened to choke my throat - just under my Adam's apple.

"Look Mama! A bounce house and corn!" My toddler enthused at my feet.

My chuckle grew as my preschooler was off to the races - nary a sound - or to the sand "corn" box that was next on my son's agenda to conquer.

My hand fell from my partner's grasp as we parted ways for a moment. The lack of touch was unpleasant, yet needed as we now had two creatures to keep track of and placate.

The many styles of squashes handy for purchase drew me towards the love of fall.

Fall: the season of warm blankets, jackets, squash hunts, candy, good books, and the season we welcomed me to the world long, long ago.

You see, fall was when my partner and myself fell together from day one.

The current year would mark the hexad of our clock together.

The lack of touch has merely grown stronger due to challenges these last few months. My hand should be adapted by now, wouldn't you expect me to say?

Yet, here we stand apart once more... torn apart by the pulse of the world's schedule.

That tape engaged, my head's play feature starts to roll once more as my memory shows that fateful date we met.

He had blue eyes shadowed by handsome eye-glasses, a softness of words, and an aura of gentleness that my body yearned for. The man to the front of my cash drawer never let me hear a uncouth word or snarl. My heart belonged to that one's heart so fast that we never saw the fall - just the aftermath.

Love - such a funny thought... all could be a party to fall towards love or fall out of love at any moment of the world's schedule.

We looked towards each other and breathed as one. Perhaps we have not fell out of love just yet, my head muses as we move towards each other once more.

Love - a powerful concept that drags you to do acts you never thought would happen.

Love - that mystery of the plummet as one falls.

That plummet? What better way to remember than at the season of Fall?

When the colder breeze send goosebumps up your arms to match the goosebumps of your heart... my heart just yearns for us to have not fallen out of love.

The growl that came from my love, my partner shook me to my core... the way that happens at every juncture where growls come to play from my partner...

My plea for my partner's touch snapped as a rubber band does as the fear set up shop once more.

Maybe love has ended.

Maybe my partner strayed too far from the path... or maybe my love went to rest the moment he wasn't sure of our love together.

Maybe our love was just fallen... to be gently coddled as our love grew once more.

We fell hard that greatest Fall... to always be played fondly by my memory.

Too bad we cannot turn the world's clock back to the start, my love would love to restart our fall that Fall.

My heart aches as my hand falls away from my partner's bubble of space.

Love would say that we grow apart... wouldn't love do that?

Yet wouldn't love also never stray too far from the other?

Wouldn't love speak softly to deflect the harshness of the world?

Or love maybe never fell, for realz, that Fall... as the teenagers some where say...

My toddler pulls me back to the moment - she employs her touch to my hand. My preschoolers screams out of joy that sends a shock to my eardrums. My partner mouths they love me... the Fall has me desperate to fall towards my partner's heart once more.

Love forgets, you see.

Love lets go of problems, you see.

Love holds no flame to any other thought that one may have, you see.

Love, you see, keeps pressure all on me to accept or deflect at any moment.

We fell hard and felt so good that Fall long ago... maybe we can reproduce the outcome now that Fall occurs once more? Maybe the world repeats the lessons we want to repeat through some of the seasons?

Or was our love, merely a dream from another world's schedule that we merely got a glance at?

My heart doesn't know where love goes or what love does.

Yet, love falls onto my shoulders as my toddler leaps through the sky ... my partner helps her to jump so tall! Over four feet onto my back... Her hands clamped over my eyes as the laughter bubbled forth.

Yet, love pulls on my hand as my preschooler grabs my hand and regard, as he gestures towards a box of cheap small-scale squash. Words bubble out as pleas to go shop. My regard follows my preschooler over to the box and helps select a few smaller squashes for décor later.

Love falls where love falls - be that as that may be - the Fall just smooth's the fall's of everyone as the cool breeze blows softly as the next season approaches.

My heart relaxes as my head says that love always falls when least expected and that's? That's just okay!

Love falls another Fall perhaps, one day at some future moment. Who knows?

Maybe same partner, new moment...

Maybe new partner, new moment...

But always the same two adorable loves that never, ever leave my heart - even when they run away to the corn box to play... laughter erupts from everyone as my partner chases them playfully!

Maybe love falls once more... just one more moment, the season of Fall we are once more faced to pull through...

Love, that tough, gentle, awkward... LOVE!