This year I can feel the changes that I have gone through.  Gone is the timid little thing that was often invisible, but I'm not sure if I have completed the transformation into the dragon that I knew was my destiny early last year.

I do know that I want to spend a moment reflecting on the past 7 years of New Year's days... and take a moment to acknowledge my growth!

Looking at that entry in my journal, I have learned that acceptance is not always a place that you reach and stay.  Sometimes it is a place that you have to fight to return to - again and again!

Looking at that journal entry, I am proud of myself for having higher standards now.  I hope to never ever feel like I am parenting another adult again - especially one who is supposed to be my equal!

This was back in 2023 and I am proud to say that I have continued to practice holding boundaries, doing things that might be mistakes but that could also be good, and continuing to not sacrifice my health for other people's comfort.  Some days are better than others, but hey, at least I have continued to make the effort to improve my life as a whole!  *smile*

This memory is bittersweet because I didn't touch on the fight that happened because I had slept in or the arguing over whether or not I was being a "good mom" by leaving our kids with him that day.  I do know that the feeling of missing my kids when they are gone for a while has not changed.  I know that I was told that I'd "get over that" feeling, but I just really do enjoy spending time with my kids as their mom.  *smile*

Reading this from 2021 was quite the shock for me.  I had such low expectations of my children's father... my wisdom teeth finally coming in at almost 25 was no joking matter!  It was debilitating - and I was grateful for a few dishes, a little bit of food, and that he was able to "watch" our children... all without growling too much?!  I am so thankful that my standards have obviously gone 

So... it seems to be a trend with me... staying up way too late!  lol  I won't lie, I am crying right now with this memory.  There is a part of me that still wants another child, but pregnancy has never been easy for me.  And after living through my children's fathers' ... choices ... I am uncertain if my heart will ever be capable of trusting in another guy 

This entry from 2019 simply highlights what I have come to know and expect... if it isn't in my coparent's interest to do something, then it will not get done without me doing it.  I also was extremely gullible... 10 hour work days, 5 days a week - but only pulling in 38-ish hours of pay?  I do think that those rose colored glasses have been crushed though.

I am proud of how far I have come - and excited to see how far I'll go!  I hope that each of you can have similar feelings when you look back on your life.  *wink*

Delano Ramdas

Reflecting on Past New Years

Throwback Thursdays 1-1-2026

This year I can feel the changes that I have gone through.  Gone is the timid little thing that was often invisible, but I'm not sure if I have completed the transformation into the dragon that I knew was my destiny early last year.



Reflecting on Past New Years

Throwback Thursdays 1-1-2026

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The Last Day of 2025

Reflecting on Past New Years

Throwback Thursdays 1-1-2026

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The Last Day of 2025

This is an Exclusive Story for supporters of The Schizophrenic Mom