Want kids to put down their phones and moderate their gaming? Try these five effective parenting tips

The simplest and most crude way to keep kids from getting addicted to the Internet and games is to give them no phones/tablets.

It really prevents kids from getting addicted before they can afford to buy a phone and have access to it. But that approach could have a very bad consequence: a backlash.

Where there is oppression, there is resistance.

If parents force their children not to do something by "absolute prohibition," there may be a backlash once the children are old enough to make their own choices. For example: every year, there are quite a number of college students, after leaving the supervision of their parents, addicted to games, skipping classes, resulting in unable to graduate, 12 years of efforts in vain.

So, on this issue, I always adhere to the principle is: blocking is better than sparse.

Specifically to the actual operation, what aspects can we start with?

The following contents hope to help you.

(a) as far as possible to delay children's contact with the game time

The younger the child, the weaker the self-control ability, the more susceptible to external influence, the more difficult to resist external temptation.

Here's an example:

For example, we always accompany our children to watch "Man and Nature", "Planet Earth" and other video content, the children do not feel boring, watching very seriously, but also very happy. However, when we show them dija Altman and Chibi Maruko-chan, they may not want to watch Man and Nature any more.

When we give the mobile phone to the child, the child is only used to query information, then the mobile phone is a "tool" for the child, can help him learn and grow.However, when a child picks up a mobile phone/tablet and only watches small videos and plays games, they become "entertainment" for the child, consuming a lot of time and energy. (Take a look at yourself and figure out how many hours a day we spend glued to our phones.)

Therefore, the earlier we let children contact the Internet, contact games, we will be more difficult to children's education and guidance. A mobile phone that adults can't stop, how to let children abstinence? From a biological point of view, the prefrontal cortex of the child's brain has not yet developed, self-control is far inferior to adults.

Of course, if the parents are excellent, have proper parenting methods, scientific guidance and a healthy family atmosphere, there is no need to be constrained to "delay" this matter.

(2) Admit that children also need to relax and guide them to view the Internet/games correctly

Seven emotions and six desires are a basic part of human beings. Children are ordinary people like us. We can't expect to cultivate them into people who only know how to study and not to relax and play.

This is distorted thinking.

You might say: We certainly wouldn't want to do that!

But consider carefully what we say and do:

Have only when the child is studying seriously, the mood is all the more comfortable?

When our children ask to watch TV, play video games or go outside, do we feel like saying no?

In one class, a teacher helped a distressed mother comb through her ideas until she finally realized, "She gets angry when the baby plays! She thinks the child is not good at school and is not qualified to play."

If it were not for the teacher to help her comb, she has always thought that they do very well, endure very well, is a good mother, for the good of the child was abandoned by the child.

How do we know that every command/advice we give our children is correct when we can't even see ourselves clearly?

If you have any of the above thoughts, now is the time to consciously change them.

Since we recognize that children have the right to "relax", we should not impose rules on going out to play or watching video at home. We can only guide them scientifically.

Such as:

· Gradually teach children to recognize and plan time.

· Tell your child that the Internet and games are both "double-sided" and have both advantages and disadvantages. They are neither delicacies nor monsters. They are the products of The Times and technological development. We should accept them, but at the same time, we should not be captured by them. Let them become our masters and dominate our lives.

When your child finishes watching a video or playing a game, talk to him or her about how you feel. What did you get? (Gaining happiness is also a kind of gaining.) If the child wants to answer, we listen. Children refused to answer, we do not force.

When the child answers, he will think and recall, which will help him correctly understand what the Internet and games bring to them.

For example: Once, my son was in a really bad mood after playing a game because he lost several times in a row.

I saw his state, my tone was very mild: "Hozi, you played games for an hour, what did you harvest?"

He thought and said, "I get angry! And lost so many points! ... It's all because... I'll play some more. I'll... Then I wouldn't have died so easily..." The tone from the initial angry, slowly transition to peace.

Although I did not understand what he said, I knew he had got his unhappiness off his chest, which helped to ease his mind. I also know he's trying to figure out why he lost, how to hold on longer next time.

He didn't know they were gains. These gains are the most valuable, because they can help children develop the thinking mode of "facing failure, summing up experience and looking for ways".

In the future, he will think like this when his grades are falling, his job is not going well, and his marriage is in conflict. So, is there any difficulty that he can't face or solve?

If he won several times in a row, he would say, "What a great day! So happy!"

And then, there is no then.

At this point, we should not ask what else the child has gained.

Being happy is enough.

Let the children immerse themselves in happiness, not so utilitarian.

(three) must cultivate children healthy and beneficial interests and hobbies

Must, must, must try to develop a healthy interest or two for the child!

Within the scope of ability, we want to take children as much as possible to try a variety of things, such as: roller skating, swimming, drawing, Musical Instruments, dancing, hosting, basketball, football, table tennis, skiing, sailing, robotics...

Although every child has a different personality and talent, he or she can always find one or two things that he or she likes as long as they have enough contact with things. Then, help the child to form a stable interest, when the child is free, can think of doing these things, willing to do these things.

Of these, the most economical and beneficial interest is reading.

There is no need to sign up for classes or spend much money. As long as parents insist on reading with their children for a period of time, most children can develop the habit of reading. Some children, even without their parents, are born with a love of books.

As long as "mobile phone/game" is not the only thing for children to spend time and relax, then children will not be easily addicted to it.

So it's very important to develop healthy interests.

Otherwise, if a child does not enjoy anything, then what can he do in his spare time? If parents are too busy with their cell phones or work to be with their children, then TV and cell phones are really all that's left.

Four) Put "attractions" in the distance, "beneficial things" in the near place

In one study, moving the TV remote control from the end table to a place that requires standing up and walking to reach it effectively reduced the number of times an adult turned on the TV each day. If you unplug your TV, you have to plug it in every time you want to watch it, and you turn it on even less.

People's self-control is different, and children are weaker than adults.

How can I help kids reduce screen time?

One of the most effective ways to do this is to keep your phone/tablet far away from your child.

Such as:

Put it on high. If the kids want to play, they need your help to take it off.

Set your phone/tablet to a passcode so you can play after you unlock it.

Keep electronic devices out of the child's bedroom.

Also, keep "good things" within easy reach of children.

Such as:

Put kid-friendly books on the arm of the couch, on the study table, on his nightstand...

Place educational toys on the living room floor mat or somewhere your child can see and reach.

If a child is bored, he may read a book for an hour and open a toy for half a day.

When the child is not addicted to the phone, as long as he is having fun, he will not think about playing the phone/tablet

(five) Don't expect children to be more self-discipline, parents should go up!

First of all, we must emphasize one point: we must try to cultivate children's ability of self-discipline! Because a self-disciplined life is more likely to be successful and happy.

However, "hard cultivation" does not necessarily mean that it can be cultivated.

So, we should be committed to cultivating children's self-discipline, while do not expect children to have more self-discipline, do not put all the responsibility of things on the child a person! That, in my view, is irresponsible.

We need to whisper "stop" in our children's ears when they lose control of time and are constantly indulging in games.

When children play beyond the agreed time, we will gently and firmly enforce the next "deduction time" policy.

When kids are thinking about games all day and falling behind in their studies, we need to ban a period of time to help kids get out of the Internet/games.

It takes pruning to plant a fruit tree, let alone to raise a child with growth and initiative. We want to be a dutiful gardener, on the basis of respecting children and conforming to nature, scientific guidance and reasonable education, so that children grow more and more robust, more and more tall!