Undesired

There she lay for 3 days unnamed, alone, destined to die. Unwanted, unwished for, unplanned.

It was a dark and cold December, the doctors and nurses did not have hope for a happy ending, she was too small, born too early, only faith could carry this baby through. One loving grandma; who prayed, stayed, cared and loved as only a hero can until a miracle happened, the baby girl grew, she breathed, she thrived.

The two spent life together, inseparable, talking, singing and working with their hands; growing and harvesting on the farm until one day Grandma was gone. Again, the girl was alone and unwanted. From foster home to foster home she never connected or felt important. The girl was repeatedly told she would never be successful or become anything to matter in this world. Too many adults judged her as a book by the cover, her pale skin, thin frame and matted hair was only a reflection of lack of nurture not a vision of her future. A seed had been planted in the girls heart which no one could snuff out because grandma instilled this one confidence in her; she taught the girl to take time to concentrate to think of others before herself. Grandma taught through actions that it is greater to give than receive and she took the time to say out loud, “Always imagine being in the other persons’ shoes.” The girl continued to grow up, she had no idea how truly beautiful she was, she was unaware of the potential she had to impact the world one person at a time.

The girl had a dream, an intention that filled her thoughts day and night that she could be a glimpse of hope for someone who needed to be known, together and alive! Every year on her birthday she took out grandma’s little black leather notebook of phone numbers and photographs, she would imagine if grandma were here now she would have icing all over her apron from trying to make a more lovely cake than the previous year. Grandma’s worn book is a treasure she took with her from place to place. Luckily the cover was black to mask the years of frequented use. The inside was filled with names and addresses of old friends that grandma held dear, some of the names included tips such as their favorite treat, or names of their grandchildren. The pages were filled with notes for recipes and quotes, poems and sketches, some good ideas as well as some perceived incomplete thoughts. The pages also held expired coupons, pieces of used stamps, envelopes and cards. The girl cherished this book with the black leather cover, fraying seams and torn corners, and even after so many years it held a trace of grandma’s perfume. The cover was a reminder of grandma’s hands, soft and scarred. One of the girl's favorite pages was a page full of brainstormed baby names, including the name that Grandma picked for her: Edith. It is not the name she wished had been chosen; it was the worst choice Edie could think of. Grandma wrote out the meaning in her calligraphy cursive writing: “Edith” meaning: “riches or blessed”, or "prosperous in war" Edie didn’t believe her name had brought her any of these things. At times she wondered and wished why Grandma didn’t pick the name Ivy or Quinn which were clearly other favorite choices, surely one of those names could have brought better luck. Grandma’s favorite quote which was doodled and rewritten over for what seemed like a hundred times damaged the tattered pages, it said, “to have a friend is to be a friend” this was followed by a Bucket list of ideas from simple to more complicated. 1. Say hello to a stranger. 2. Smile and wave at everyone you see as you drive through town. 3. Secretly pay for the person behind you. 4. Drop off a meal to a family in need *side note: be sure to cook double. The list went on sometimes separated by other pages of things that came up. It seems grandma had a key to the secret of making sure to not get lonely when living life alone and that was to intentionally live for others. The list seemed to have given grandma the drive and energy to get up each day with purpose. On her 16th birthday Edie decided to complete item number 25 which was to send Christmas cards; seeking a way to help others feel and know the kind of love her grandma had; she took the time to write thoughtful handcrafted Christmas cards to grandmas’ old friends. Little did she know those friends knew all about the girl. Within a week, cards began to come back with encouraging notes. The first one she opened said, Dear: Edie, I have been waiting for you to write, since the day you were born I have wanted to bless you with riches, here is a cheque for $5000 not much perhaps but I trust you will use it wisely, Merry Christmas” and some of the others cards had photos, poems, scratchy handwriting and the one thing in common every single card contained cash or cheques. Edie didn’t know what was going on, by the time Christmas eve arrived, the girl had $20000! What an overwhelming shock and surprise one could only be left to wonder did grandma have this planned as a back up many years ago, perhaps when she knew Christmas would be her last?

It seems Edie was the most fitting name for the girl after all, a blessing brought about by some notes in an old, worn, loved black leather notebook brought riches and even more than that, taught Edie she was prosperous in war. Through all the trials life brought, she did not give up, she persevered, she was resilient. She was loved. Edie went to school, she became a teacher, and now gets to teach all children they are wanted, wished for and planned. Pridefully the children call her Mrs. Edith! Her blessing was that she was named, she was not alone, she was destined to live, to live out a legacy teaching the next generation they are wanted, wished for and planned.