Tips to Get Divorced as a Millenial

Divorce in millennials isn’t as common as it is in other generations. This may be because many wait to get married (or cohabitate instead of tying the knot). Also, the average age of divorce is around forty, so most millennials still have plenty of years to go.

Just because it isn’t as common doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It also doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard.

Here are some tips for millennials who are going through a divorce.

Know that your divorce is going to be online and on social media. Unfortunately, most millennials have had their whole relationship online. Their friends liked the pictures of their first dates, the amazing proposal, and the wedding pictures. If you had children together, they probably liked those pictures too.

These people will also be suspicious if they see you (or your ex) delete pictures with the two of you together (or family pictures). They will quickly note that one (or both of you) is marked separated, divorced, or single in the box for relationship status.

You are going to have to expect this fallout. You may lose friends and feel like you are being judged. However, now is the time to only worry about yourself (and your children). Don’t let the comments get to you.

Find others in the same boat, especially if you find yourself a single parent. Though you might not have any friends going through a divorce (or even a breakup), it can help. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people you know who have gone through what you are going through. They could become your newest best friends (and very helpful during this rough time).

If you have children, you are going to want to find a tribe of other single parents who can help you. You may need to trade babysitting time to help each other out. It can also help your children to have close adults of both sexes in their lives.

Be happy for those around you. During this time, you may also feel bombarded by your friends getting married and having children. This can really hurt when you are feeling so bad about your situation. However, you can’t avoid bridal and baby showers or weddings, so you will have to find a way to be happy for your friends who are so excited about this time in their life.

Don’t be afraid to get help. Divorce can be really scary and terrifying. Many millennials feel like they failed and won’t be able to have another relationship. However, that is not true.

Talk to a therapist to help you deal with your feelings. They will give you plenty of ideas on coping so you can start your new life off on a better foot.

Hire a lawyer. Though millennials like to do everything themselves, divorce is not one thing that you should try. You need to hire a professional to make sure that the divorce is done the right way.

That being said, you can easily figure out how you want to divide everything before you meet with the lawyer. In fact, the more that you have ready, the easier your divorce will be. All they will have to do is make sure that you didn’t miss anything and file the paperwork.

Getting divorced is never easy, especially when it plays out on social media. Your “friends” may take sides and write hurtful comments. However, you need to find a way to let it go. You also need to let go of the angry feelings to be happy for others who are getting married and starting the life that you always imagined you would have!

Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.