Tips to Protect Your Children During Divorce

Going through a divorce is hard. You are going to have many emotions, even conflicting ones. There are going to be times when you can’t stop crying, and other times you are going to feel relief. You may also feel guilty like you could have done more. Many feel angry.

Divorce is even harder on our children. They are losing their whole way of life since they aren’t going to have both of their parents in their lives anymore. There is also a good possibility that they will need to move out of the only home that they ever knew. They are going to get a second home. It takes time for both places to feel like home.

You should do everything you can to protect your children, even as you go through this difficult time. Here are some ways to protect your children through divorce and afterward.

Don’t ever talk to your children about their other parent, especially if you are criticizing them. Your children love both of you, and they don’t need to hear you bashing their mother and father. This can be very hurtful, especially if the other parent is asking about what was said about them.

Don’t put your children in the middle. Your children shouldn’t feel like they are in the middle of the divorce. Not only shouldn’t you fight around them, but you also shouldn’t use them to get messages back and forth. If you cannot communicate with your ex, keep all contact with them through email and even text messages.

Know that your children are going to need you, through this time. Your children are also going to be going through a lot of emotions. They may need to be cuddled more. They may also need some space, but not too much. Some will need to talk (and talk). It is your job to give your children what they need as they process the divorce!

You also need to give your children time with your ex. Make visitation a priority to ensure that both of your children’s parents are in their lives. Come up with a schedule that works for all of you and stick to it. However, if something comes up and your ex wants the children, be flexible. You never know when you might want some extra time with them to go to a birthday party!

If visitation isn’t possible (or even if it is), allow your children to call their other parent when they are with you. Phone calls are a great way to keep in touch, especially when the other parent isn’t always able to spend time with your children.

Be dedicated to your children’s welfare. No matter how badly you don’t get along, you have to think about your children first. They want and deserve to have both of you in their lives (without fighting). Make it a goal to be able to go to school events, sports games, and other events together because it is good for your children. You don’t even have to talk to each other. Showing up is enough to tell your children that you care about them.

If you have child support to pay, make sure you make your payments as requested. Splitting up a home and changing to one income can be hard. If your ex needs child support to care for your children, you need to give him or her all the help you can. Don’t make him or her beg for money, after all, they are your children too! It is your responsibility to help pay for them.

Take care of yourself. It is important that you take care of yourself during this difficult time too! If you are not healthy, you are going to struggle to raise your children. If you are not getting enough sleep, you might get angry at the littlest things. You need to find time to eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep.

Don’t be afraid to get some professional help. If you are really struggling, you might need to get some professional help. A therapist will allow you to talk through your feelings. They are great at helping people find a good way to deal with their emotions. Your children need you to be all right so that you can help them through their struggles.

While you are struggling through this difficult time, you are still a parent. You are going to have to take care of your children. They need you. It is important that you make it a point to keep your children out of the middle of the fighting. If you have to, only talk through text messages or emails until you learn a better way to communicate.

You also can’t keep your children away from their other parent. They deserve to have both of their parents in their lives, so you need to come up with a visitation plan that works for everyone and then stick to it! It also helps to be flexible. There are going to be times when you are going to want the children for a special event when you don’t have them, and your ex will too. The more flexible you are, the better off your children will be!

You also need to take care of yourself during this time. You are going through many changes and emotions. It is important that you eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. If that is not enough, you might want to consider therapy. There is nothing wrong with getting some professional help. In fact, it could make a world of difference.

Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.