The Smell of Hay

The barn looked like something out of a romantic novel. The roof was a sliver tin roof. The walls of the barn were apple red, and the doors had been painting a bright white but was now it was a dull white due to the dirt that has accumulated. The barn was a little run down but that is what years does to everything. Lillian looked at the barn and was taken back to when it was new and fresh.

“LILLIAN!!” G.W said, “Get the shovel, there a damn snake over here.” Lillian and G.W had just gotten married last November and had finished their little farm a month back. Her father’s wedding gift was land, so they could build a family and a life on it. She grabs the shovel and races to her newly husband. G.W, grabs the shovel and quickly beheads the snake. Then takes it and throws the snake in the woods. “Thank you, baby.” As he walked back and kissed her on the head.

“Your, welcome.” She said blushing. She still has not gotten use to the pet calling and the intimate affection. G.W, was nineteen years old and she was sixteen. Then that was the normal age in starting a family. “I have to get the pig in the pin now, because I ran over here without locking the gate when you called for me.” She said annoyed.

“I’ll help you baby.” He said, giggling at her annoyed face. The barn smelled of fresh paint, wood, and hay. They walked over to the pig who did not get far from the gate because it got distracted from the sweet grass by the fence. They both carefully herded the pig in its fence and locked the gate. “Well, I say we call it a day. I am hungry and I prefer we go to bed early.” He said with a smirk on his face, as he wrapped his arms around his newly wife. She elbowed him in the ribs and hid her face in his chest. G.W, just laughed and held her tighter as they walked to the house.

Lillian smiled at the memory and thought of how young they both were then. If she had known then what she knew now she would had walked a little slower to the house or hugged G.W, a little tighter. As in all things time marches on and just as there are seasons in a year there are also seasons in life. If she could pinpoint the spring in her life, it would definitely be the first four years of their marriage. It was just the two of them learning about each other, but after one of the hottest summers she ever lived, or maybe it was because she was very pregnant. Her summer to life began, on a brisk October day.

“G.W, did you feed the chickens already?” Lillian came around the barn waddling.

“Yes, baby I feed them that’s why they are in their coop.” he said as he was putting up the lead from the horses. “I fed the pig and cows too. I really wish you would stay inside. It’s getting cooler these days and I wish you would stay in the house. I don’t want you getting sick before the baby gets here.” In the fall time the barn always smells of fresh hay, fresh corn, and wood shavings from the horse’s stalls.

“I know.” She said in a pouting voice. “But I get tired just laying around the house.” This summer it was too hot for me to help out on the farm.” Tears started to form in her eyes and her voice begin to crack. G.W, wrapped her up in his arms.

“I know baby, but I just want to protect the two most important people that is in my life right now. That is, you and this baby.” He says whispering in her ears trying to calm down his very pregnant wife. Lillian knew she was being over dramatic, dang these durn hormones. If she didn’t have this baby soon, she was sure that not only drive her husband away but herself crazy too. Suddenly, a sharp pain in her stomach hit her, and then she felt all wet.

“Umm, honey I think my water just broke.” They both looked down and saw a puddle of water at her feet, then they looked at each other with wide eyes.

Lillian giggled as she remembers that day so well. G.W had to turn around because he had left his pregnant wife on the porch after he threw the bags in the truck. She may have been a little dramatic earlier that day, but he was the king of dramatics. Of course, her other two pregnancies had the same dramatics. The second child he had remember her but not their four-year old son. The third child he left all of them and didn’t return for a solid ten minutes. After that she told him she didn’t care if this one was another boy she wasn’t going to be left anymore and that this was the last child. Even thought they had both hoped for a girl luck wasn’t on their side. Raising all boys was a challenge. Endless insects that winding up in their pockets, boxes of band aids and bottles of alcohol to take care of the scraps and countless visits to the E.R. Oh, the life with boys. But nothing could prepare either of them when their oldest son told them he was going to enlist.

“I am going to go feed the chickens. Allan, you help your daddy with the horses.” Lillian walked out of the barn and started to make her way to the chicken coop when she realized she had forgotten her basket to get the eggs that they had laid for the day. She started back to the barn and over heard Allen speak to G.W.

“Don’t tell mom just yet, but I enlisted yesterday when I went to town. I don’t want to upset her, but I feel like I need to do this.” Allen said. She couldn’t make out G.W’s, responds because he was extremely quiet. “Dad don’t look at me like that. I am nineteen. At nineteen you and mom where already married and had started this farm.” How does that equal out to putting your life in danger? Lillian thought to herself. G.W said something, but she couldn’t hear his low voice because the hay bells were stacked by the door and it made it hard to hear people that was further away from the door. She had hope he was trying to talk sense into his child. This was her baby, her first born how could she live if anything ever happens to her baby. She decided it was time to show herself now. She walked around the corner, and both of their eyes widen for they knew she had heard. Lillian put her hand up, to quite their responds in asking her if she heard them.

“We aren’t going to talk about this here. We can talk about it at the dinner table. I forgot the basket for the eggs. Now finish your work and head home. I will start dinner soon after I feed the chickens and gather the eggs.” in a matter-of-fact tone then walked out of the barn again with her basket.

If she could pinpoint when fall came to her life it would be that moment. For everything begin to change. Her oldest son went to war and stayed in the Navy for a few years. Her middle son moved to a different state to become a fashion designer. Her youngest son was the only one who got married, which lead to the best gifts of all, two little girls who was the light of their lives. Oh, how they adored their granddaughters especially the oldest, and not just because she was born the day after their wedding anniversary, but because she was a little fire ball. One would have thought that they were the only ones in the world that ever-received granddaughters. G.W would have agreed and said yes, because in his and her eyes they where the only two girls that matter the most. Just as they loved them so did the girls love them. One would think they didn’t have another set of grandparents the way they spent all their extra time with them. The oldest was always quick to tell them that they were the only ones who matter and not to worry about the other set of grandparents. She always said, they have other grandchildren to play with, but you only have us. She wasn’t wrong there where four other grandchildren they could do all the things with and we only have two, but they are the best two out of all the grandchildren in the world. Lillian came out of her memory lane trans when she heard a quite sob. She took a deep breath in and open the door. As she walked to see where the sob had come from, she saw the oldest granddaughter crying in the hay. Winter had now come and the worst thing possible has happen. On their anniversary G.W, as passed away. Everyone was taking it hard, and Pamela had disappeared. She always has had a hard time with showing emotion and Lillian knew that she had to be hiding somewhere crying. She was to turn 23 tomorrow and instead going out with her friends celebrating as she should, she will be tied down to a funeral home keeping friends and family company and listening to them talk about stories about her Papa. If you would have asked her, she would have said she couldn’t think of a better birthday party with all her family around, but she would had preferred that it be at the house with everyone including her Papa. I would have to agree with her. I much rather be spending our anniversary in the mountains or by the beach, but we both know G.W, didn’t mean to pass on such an important day. It was his time and Pamela and Lillian, both understood. It was just hard. They both loved him unconditionally in different ways. Lillian made her way over to her heartbroken granddaughter, the only thing she knew to do was to hold her. She patted her on the back and Pamela, looked up.

“Nanny, what are you doing here? You should be with the family.” Her face was all puffy and eyes red from all the tears she had already cried.

“They can take care of themselves. I notice you missing so I had to come find you.” Lillian said as she pushed back the teary wet hair out of Pamela’s face. “You, know if he could of, he would had never decided to pass today.”

“I know Nanny, its not that I really care about my birthday and all. I just miss him so much already.” She said as she tried not to let her voice crack.

“I know baby. How about we do this. You help me go through the pictures and help me pick out some for the memory video? Ok?” Lillian said as she tried not allowing her voice to crack either, while patting Pamela’s head.

“Ok.” She said nodding her head. They both stood up on wobbly feet.

“Maybe, we both should at least eat a little bit.” Lillian said trying to balance both. Pamela smiled and nodded her head.

“As long as you make biscuits and gravy.” She said.

“Deal!” She smiled. They both walked to together out the barn and as Lillian closed the door she stood back and thought, this barn holds so many memories. They say smells are associated with memories, and if you asked Lillian she would say, it’s the smell of hay.