The Power of Scissors

And then, she was gone. My machine sat dormant as my heart was broken. My mentor, my friend, my gallivanting buddy, my confidant, my heart - all that and so much more - left me with a hole that will never be filled. Gram was gone and each time I attempted to sew, my heart broke all over again as tears streamed down my face. What was once a sense of pride and accomplishment was now just pain.

Flashback to a week before her passing where I sat backstage waiting for any mishaps to our thespian's costumes and I happily chatted with the other high school volunteers. It was a relatively slow costume show as very few issues developed. The prior show had been at the Junior High a year ago. It had been much more intense. I had made almost all the costume for nearly 45 kids and literally made all the lead costumes. They sported posh medieval garb made of satins, velvets, and plenty of gold and silver trims fit for the kings, queens and court they portrayed. We even created banners for the set and dozens of Knight and Lady in Waiting costumes complete with headgear. I called Gram several times and chatted about the project. I was so proud to tel her what I was creating as she had been the one to teach me to sew. I even had the actors and actresses video a short spin with their costumes donned while saying, "Thanks, Gram!" I later shared the video with her.

As our high school had a musical skip year as they always go abroad to perform, so it was two years after her passing till I was asked to help with another production. Of course I said, "Yes."

Thank God for school musicals as it forced me to confront the pain. I don't even remember what my first project was. I just remember crying the entire time, almost sewing my fingers as I couldn't see. When I got it off the machine, it was so crooked! Then I heard it. "You have to do it right. Rip it out and start over." I smiled and knew she was still with me as I began again. When it was done, the pride and accomplishment feeling came back and I could hear her say, "That's good!"

My passion came back and the fun resumed. I created countless costumes for at least three schools and six musicals. I love creating and designing costumes. Now I only have good memories, albeit sometimes a stray tear still appears.

Memories flood my heart when I sew now. I feel closer to her and remember all the time my Gram and I spent at the local factories gathering supplies or sneaking fabric into the house passed my Pap to add to her stash. The dining room table converted to a cutting counter and, though at the time I didn't know it, quality time and memories were forged in my heart.

Thanks to her, my enjoyment starts with finding the perfect pattern or alteration to one, then shopping the material aisles or through the stash I inherited. My friends and family come to me when they need a repair (though not my favorite thing) or have a project in mind like an outdoor awning or prom dress alteration.

My latest project is probably my biggest challenge to date. I've been asked to create a look for an up and coming band! Five talented musicians are depending on me to create their look! It's exciting, overwhelming, daunting and a challenge that I can't wait to figure out.

All this started with the power of a simple pair of sewing scissors as I helped cut out the patterns and material for my Gram.

Thanks, Gram.