The eye of the beholder

On a cold November day, a human enters this realm of possibilities only to be stripped away from what would be considered "normal". Born with poison in their veins, forced to be separated from others and medically intervened. Why is this happening? How did this child survive the pregnancy? What purpose could be bestowed upon this person to allow them to overcome such hurdles not even moments after their first breath?

A little bundle of happiness, now 2 months later. Happy, healthy, spoiled to the core by a loving parent who against all odds gave his all to raise his children to the best of his ability. Helping hands were always at reach. So many loving aunts, uncles, and grandparents ready to get things done. This child grew in a mixture of love and hate. Love for those around them who cared for them. Hate for those who were not present. Deep down the feelings of guilt, confusion and resentment festered quietly.

Graduation day from elementary, someone close decided to secretly arrange a meeting between child and estranged parent. Late one night, nervous yet anxious they travel to a strange location. A coddled child who went nowhere without their parents was out of their depth. As they looked around the dark street, they suddenly felt a hug from someone completely unknown. All they could do was freeze and try to process who this person was. As if that wasn't enough, there was another sibling. "There were more?" "Is this my mom?" Thoughts raced through their mind trying to make sense of it all. Words were spoken, however not processed by the 8 year old brain they attempted to enter.

Years go by, little to no contact made with the parent who was so close to touch yet so far. Resentment and anger growing alongside the child. Stories shared about their origin by family members. Understandably biased stories by those who loved this child and favored the guardian. Eventually, as time passed so did the loving parent who had raised this child to be the person they are today. Passed and still no closer to receiving any clarity on who they came from.

What person wouldn't have questions? Things people commonly talk about were a mystery. Common topics like "what are my grandparents names "or "was it a natural birth" were foreign knowledge. So many questions remain unanswered. Will there ever come a time for a real heart to heart between this parent and child?

Now, don't misunderstand. This child was loved beyond measure and grateful for everything they had. None of these questions were a reflection of lacking anything other than the most basic feeling of being wanted. Being wanted by the person that by societal norms should be the first open arms to hold you and never want to let go. Except, in this case they did let go.

Now as we observe the opposite side of the coin. As a parent who was not part of their child’s life, did not witness their milestones and accomplishments. We can only wonder what they must feel.

Emotions are tricky. Attempting to look at a personal situation with unbiased eyes is a special skill not many have.

This parent must have been in such a dire mindset/situation to make the decisions they did. Maybe they had no voice or options based on their circumstances. And while that is understandable, how do you get the child to comprehend that their worth was not a factor.

While this story has yet to culminate and so much has been left unsaid, the blessings received from such unfortunate circumstances heavily outweigh the challenges brought on by those events.