Teenagers Running Away from Home, What Does This Reaction Say About Your Child?

About the teenager running away from home - what causes the teenager to leave home and what can parents do? Unfortunately, teenagers often choose this path and, unlike younger children, they threaten less, acting without warning. If a child runs away from a friend most often, his action is a request for help and attention, a teenager runs away in clear protest and is exposed to great dangers.

The teenager who runs away from home is extremely vulnerable to risky behaviors - substance abuse, sexual practices, criminal acts to obtain the necessary money. It is not always in danger: teenagers also often go home to a friend; but when there is no such option or when he does not want his parents to find him, he disappears, going to places where he will not be spotted and where he may be in danger.

Unfortunately, the teenager's flight from home can happen unexpectedly, the parents noticing one day that he is not in his room. Signs that he intends to leave can be, for example, an extremely ugly quarrel and the gradual disappearance of objects or money from the house (he collects a sum for when he leaves).

Teenagers running away from home - why?

Constant criticism. When the parents of a teenager have a habit of not talking to him at all, but of imposing and criticizing him for every wrong step (which are many at this age), the teenager can no longer stand and wants to escape.

When he is constantly reminded that he is not good enough, that he has disappointed his parents, that he does not live up to expectations, the teenager suffers, becomes angry, and even comes to believe that it is best for him, but also his parents. is to leave.

Far too strict rules. At the age of adolescence, he needs a margin of freedom and needs to impose his independence. In a strict, closed family, in which he is denied any freedom and in which the rules are unwavering, the teenager will rebel and will want to prove that he does not need parents.

The more parents stay locked up, the more they don't try to be more flexible with the rules, the more they will want to escape. When the rules limit almost everything they do, when the parents say things like "how long do you stay in my house, do what I tell you", "you have nothing to look for in my house if you do that / if you dress like that", "you don't come at 9 o'clock at home, don't even come anymore ", then running becomes a solution.

When the teenager is not allowed, in particular, to go out with friends, to have a relationship with someone with whom he is in love, he will consider running away from home as the only option. Remember: the teenager is no longer a child, so don't impose childish rules on him!

Manipulation. On the other hand, especially when there are threats or when he runs away for several days, it is just a way to manipulate and control parents! It is a way to persuade them to please him through this threat. This does not mean, of course, ignoring him or yelling at him: only communication between parents and adolescents, a sincere communication focused on expressing emotions, can solve something.

The ideal of freedom. Unfortunately, the teenager is not old enough to be aware of the consequences of running away and its risks. He is drawn to the ideal image of life on its own, of independent living and free from such unbearable constraints. He creates fabulous scenarios, where he manages on his own, finds a place to stay and a way to make money, or travels the world…

These scenarios never come true - the teenager is forced to do different things to get money. The scenario is all the more attractive, as the teenager plans to run away with his / her boyfriend/girlfriend, to get rid of the families: they see themselves as a strong and free couple, they are against the world…

Guilt and fear. Teenagers who know they would disappoint and anger their parents too much choice to run away from home. Adolescents who use substances and are afraid that their parents will find out, teenagers who become pregnant, teenagers who have serious problems at school and are afraid of their parents' reaction.

All this shows that the parents were too closed, that they did not communicate with their child, so he chooses to leave home rather than face their disappointment and anger. Parents need to show him that even if he is wrong, they love him and can help him (many teenagers think that their parents would kick them out of the house if they found out about their actions, so they leave).

No matter how serious the mistake, parents will want to help him and not throw him out - and the teenager should know that.

Parental indifference. The teenager can run away from home simply because he feels unloved and useless in the house! His parents do not appreciate him, do not help him, do not talk to him. When he feels that his parents are indifferent to him, he will consider that he doesn't even care what he does (on the other hand, he will think maliciously that maybe that's how his parents will care, that they will realize how wrong they were).

Believing that parents don't care is the most painful thing for children and teenagers (and if they keep throwing words like "how long do you live in this house, do you do it", put a lid on it).

Stress, depression. Sometimes a teenager can't stand it anymore: family stress, tense atmosphere, endless quarrels. And when there are many quarrels, but there are not many calm and open conversations, then the family environment is one he wants to get rid of.

And depression can lead him to leave - the depressed teenager doesn't care about anything anymore, he doesn't want anything anymore, and thinks that the best thing for everyone (including parents) is to disappear…

So why does the teenager choose to run away from home? Because there is a situation that he sees as unresolved, unbearable, and runaway, it seems to him that the only alternative is to escape.

Parents need to know a few essential things: when you yell at him, criticize and punish him constantly when your strict rules are unyielding and refuse to be more flexible when you don't try to talk to him - you make him run away; when you behave indifferently with him, without paying attention to him and talking to him, the same.

When a teenager threatens to run away, or even runs away and returns (he returns quite often in a few days), only communication and expression of emotions can help.

Ignoring the reality of running away from home or punishing him for it can lead to a repeat of the episode (and in any case, the parent-adolescent relationship does not help). It is not a sign of weakness to tell him that you love him, that his flight from homemade you / would make you suffer, that maybe you were wrong too, and that you can try to improve the relationship!

Also, to explain to him that running away from problems does not solve anything - you have to face them and find solutions; to explain to her that she is safe at home and that when she has a problem, the way is to discuss it, not run away.

All of the above does not mean that the parents are to blame for the teenager's running away from home (although it can happen anyway). The adolescent feels strong emotions and often acts exaggeratedly. A situation that causes him intense negative emotions can lead to his escape.

The key is for parents to try to communicate with him, to show that they are supportive, to show him that he is loved and wanted at home, regardless of his mistakes, and to try to be more flexible.