satire
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns
A Place for Everything
(From my Annamaniacs column 2001.) Okay, I admit it. I am the stereotypical woman who knows nothing about cars. I know how to stick a key in the ignition, turn it on and drive it someplace. Frankly that’s all I want to know about cars. As long as it gets me from here to there, I’m happy.
By Anna Maria Junus3 years ago in Families
Your S/O's friends
My partner and I have a long and complicated past, made messy with alcohol use disorder on my end, being dishonest/unfaithful and other things neither of us is proud of. We have since addressed and continue to work on our defects of character as they arise. I find myself pretty damn agreeable to most people since I spent 20 years in the service industry and have had my run-ins with assholes, bullies, entitled dickheads and sexist jerks alike.
By Author shall remain nameless3 years ago in Families
Grandparents and Grandchildren Conspire
I am still investigating this story. Who is uprooting the authority of the parents in their own household? Who would be so brazen and bold to uproot the natural order of the parental units? Many mothers and fathers have sought asylums in neighboring countries like Mexico and France. Under the pretense of second honeymoons and anniversaries, parents have tried to escape to all-inclusive resorts. Without children without grandparents. Parents seem eager to get away and leave everything. After one week, the parents' request for parental asylum was rejected by the host nation and begrudgingly parents returned to their native country with long faces and regrets. Details are incomplete. My sources have become tight-lip and have recanted their statements. I am still trying to figure out who is the mastermind behind the coup to unseat the parents.
By Zante Cafe3 years ago in Families
The Biggest, Bestest, Bumper Book of Dad Jokes in the Multiverse!
Hello fellow humane beings , travellers and explorers of universes, please find my jokes here worth reading, i hope you do and you enjoy them as much as i do, future jokes will be available as i write them, my jokes are my own creations, enjoy everyone and best Ever-mores to you all, thanks!
By MR JOSEPH CLARK3 years ago in Families
Oh no!
Chapter 1 Part I In space your screams will not be heard. My decision to be a passenger on the colonizing ship "Principle 5", does not obey the need to explore new horizons, nor the tendency to create a new civilization, with new rules and virtues. For me, the world with all its defects, is so wonderfully natural, that the effort to change it, exceeds my potential capacities to adapt to any situation, no matter how adverse or unpleasant they may be. But there is one that exceeds my limits of tolerance. My mother in law.
By Ana Manrique3 years ago in Families
Five heartbreaking moments for men, how many more did you hit?
Why do so many people drive home and sit in the car for hours when they get downstairs?" One highly praised response was particularly poignant, with one saying: "A lot of times I don't want to get out of the car because it's a cut-off point. Open the door you are daily necessities, is a father, is a son, is a husband, but not yourself; In the car, a person in the car to quietly, smoke a cigarette, the body belongs to their own.
By Wilhelmina3 years ago in Families
The Chicken Knock
While raising my family out in the country chickens were a part of our unique little farm life and their purpose was to provide eggs for my family, and those hens did their job well. Those layers supplied my family, parents, and friends with farm-fresh eggs. They had free roam and we cooped them up only at night. My two youngest boys would find stashes of eggs all over. They would come running up to the house with more than a dozen eggs collected in their tee shirts. Everyone who visited would go home with at least a dozen eggs.
By Paula Cushman4 years ago in Families
Dear Ol' Dar
{SNI(long inhale, through the nose)FF!} {HAA(slow, exhaled sigh through the mouth)AH!} That’s my dad. Long, measured inhalation of breath through the nose. Hold it. Slow, breathy sigh out the mouth. This was usually followed by him placing his hand over his mouth, thumb on one cheekbone, index finger on the other, then slowly moving his hand downward, stroking his salt and paprika beard.
By M. Michael TRARP4 years ago in Families
The Jenkinson debócale
“Merry no!” Frank said within the fullness of concern. She was across the room. The party halted and all eyes were on him. Merry herself was quite startled and stood frozen, with a Christmas cookie in her hand. “Frank, don’t embarrass me” she stomped over in a huff as the crowd began to regain the momentum of the neighborhood party. It was being held at Jenkinson's this year and Merry felt pressured to look her best. The Jenkinson’s always had the best things and threw the best parties and always boasted of it as well. Frank hated the Jenkinson’s. “What is it?” asked Merry angrily. “Wait, wait look” said Frank pointing over at the snack table that Merry had just marched from. Merry looked over just in time to see George Jenkinson take a bit of the very same type of cookies that she was seconds from eating herself. Mr. Jenkinson ate. “Slam dunk” whispered Frank. “You didn’t” Merry whispered in response, though she needed no answer, the look in his eye was all she needed. “How much did you put in?”, “all of it”, “all of it?”, “Every. Last. Drop”. Merry looked up in desperation to see if anything could be done to change what had just happened, but to her dismay all she saw was George Jenkinson scarfing down their cookies. Helpless, she watched as he praised their freshly made cookies to all the guests and offered them to everyone. Everyone at the party had taken one at this point.
By Jedidiah Johnson4 years ago in Families
