parents
The boundless love a parent has for their child is matched only by their capacity to embarrass them.
When my Dad left
When I was a sophomore in high school I received a notice while in my biology class that there was a call for me at the front office and I should be ready to go home for the day. I grabbed my backpack, book and notebook and was ushered towards the office by some receptionist person that I had never seen before. I was getting sweaty walking the halls with this unknown woman, struggling to put my things away in my pack as we were walking. Part of me was excited to leave school, but another part of me felt like the reason I could be leaving might be serious so I was getting more anxious as we approached the office. Upon entering, I was instructed by the principal to pick up the phone on the counter. I picked up the phone and said hello, it was my mother letting me know she was going to pick me and my sister up to take us home and to be ready outside the school in 15 minutes. I hung up the phone and turned around and there was my sister, just as anxious as I was. She asked me what was going on, and I shrugged my shoulders and told her mom was coming to get us and we needed to meet her outside.
By HEATHER CLARIDGE5 years ago in Families
Things a smile can’t tell you
Today I am going to take you back to when I was about 15-16 years old give or take. I remember like it was yesterday. I love my mom, but, I would lying if I said there were times in my life, on multiple occasions where I felt less than loved. One would even argue that I was seemingly uncared for. The thing about familial relationships, especially those with our mothers, they tend to be complex. When you’re like me and understand people almost to a fault. You tend to not lay blame on them, and more so, turn the blame, guilt and shame on yourself. If you ask me what circumstances were leading up to this event in my life. I would not be able to tell you because there was no “moment”. There was not a single thing I did wrong to anger my mom as much as I did that day or need to go through that situation as young teenager. I remember we were talking in her room one moment, and another moment passed and it was like someone flipped a switch and my mom was gone. She was replaced by an angry, hateful women in front of me who seemingly was filled with rage. She made a comment and I responded, and I remember specifically that she lifted her hand to slap me, and I caught her wrist. I could feel the sensation of terror creeping up on me, realizing what I had just done. Defend myself, because in the Puerto Rican culture, god forbid you defend yourself from abuse. Let’s call it what it is, it’s not corporal punishment, it’s abusive behavior. After I caught her hand, any chance of my mom being in there had all but deminished by now. She kept at me and put both hands around my neck. She was now choking me and holding me against the wall. I was fucking terrified. I just started panicking thinking to myself “why the fuck didn’t you just let her slap you”. Her grip was tightening and I was choking. It started to really set in. Oh shit, my mom is choking me. I grabbed at her wrists until she let me go. I caught my breath for a second and ran to the phone. “If you fucking touch me again, I will call the cops on you for abuse”. My mom got this frightening look in her eyes like she might really hurt me, as though, hurting me might bring her some actual joy. She looked crazed, like she snapped. My stomach sank at her response “oh yeah you little bitch ? I’ll you a reason to call the cops. She kept at me again, we struggled against her bed because she was trying to pin me down, and, was just swiping at me and hitting me. I jumped on to the bed and grabbed her chair that was in front of her vanity. At this point I was fucking absolutely terrified. My mom had been long gone in this moment. Replaced by what I would later find out was likely the irrational, abusive behavior of a cocaine addict. Which, was not uncommon in my family, I was just a kid though, and, I didn’t know any better. I held the chair up to her, shaking, and yelling for my brother or sister. I was holding the chair with one hand with the legs facing towards her like a lion tamer trying to hold off a lion. I used the other hand to bang on the wall as hard as I could until my scared brother and sister ran across the street to get my grandparents. They showed up about 5 minutes later, which felt like an eternity. They escorted me out of the house, sobbing, and a mess. While I listened to my mom say awful things about me and how ungrateful I was. Me being an ungrateful little bitch, is a pattern in my family, you’ll learn more about that in another article. But for now, I wanted to share this experience because it is one that traumatized me, and stayed with me into adulthood. I can recall this as though it happened yesterday. I have had to examine a lot of not only friendships but familial relationships after having my daughter, because, it has triggered me into wondering what kind of parent I will be and want to be. Could I ever do those things to my own daughter ? Probably not. It also leads me to question, why, culturally this is acceptable behavior. Why is it that Puerto Rican parents are so suffocatingly controlling ? Why are you treated like an extension of them and not your own person ? So many questions and no real logical answers. The only thing I can do because I cannot change the past, is move forward and be a better parent, and, break the cycle. My daughter will NEVER know such pain, such guilt, such unresolved anger towards me. I will not put her through that, ever.
By Juli Cofresi5 years ago in Families
If Only I Was a Seer
It was 2016 and I was being promoted at work. I can't disclose business names or anything, but we will call the place 'W'. At W I was to become a bakery manager and I was excited to work in bakery. Quickly upon starting the training for my new job, I was informed that I was to be a Bakery and a Deli manager. Two departments for the same amount of pay. This did not sit well with me as I despised everything to do with the Deli department.
By Tayla Bennett5 years ago in Families
Mothering from Afar
I'm sitting here alone, eating some peanut butter toast with puffy eyes and a heart full of confusing emotions. Those of us who know, know: parenting teens is basically "WTF are they doing? Who TF are they? Who TF am I? Does anyone even know WTF they're doing or who they are anymore??". But then, parenting teens from afar half the time (DURING A PANDEMIC!) because you share custody is next level WTFuuuuuuuckkkk!!
By Janis Beke5 years ago in Families
A Spot for Me
I’m nearly 28 now, but in high school before I knew how the world worked and yet felt pretty dramatically confident there was no place for me- I would often skip class and sit on the floor of our local Borders bookstore on the corner of 59th and Columbus circle. It was there that I had created a safe space from the relentless tormenting of my peers. I would sit for hours, reading Calvin and Hobbes in the travel section where I would then sneakily slip the comics behind catalogues about Rome and Egypt so that no-one could buy them. And there they would safely wait for me until the next time I needed to get away. Eventually I left high school behind and found out later the book store had been permanently closed. To commemorate my time there, I had a tattoo made of Calvin and Hobbes sitting in a box (traveling through time).
By Allegra Louise5 years ago in Families
Adventures in Motherhood: How A Mom Can Make Anywhere That's Quiet Her Own
When I was a little girl I never had any dreams involving kids or of being a mother. As a matter of fact, I never even considered it. While the other girls were busy playing house or with their dolls, I was figuring out how to fit an old-school typewriter into the piece of carry-on luggage I'd be taking for my upcoming Amtrack adventure with my Abuelita.
By Francesca Crespo aka The Industry Momma5 years ago in Families
Alcohol and Motherly Parenting
So, here I am, age ten. I just started living with my father. We moved to a different town close by, to where my mother was left. I started going to a different school, which meant new people. I had just left all of my friends at my old school, left my mother, and lived in a new town. That's a lot for a young child to deal with and deal with that stress within a week time period. Please forgive me as you read; these memories aren't easy to accurately remember, let alone be painful to muster up.
By Jessica Girdler5 years ago in Families
Raw Meat vs Medium Rare
Over the past several weeks I have been binge-watching the hit show Master Chef on Hulu. Being a visual learner, this show has enlightened and inspired me to cook meals with more fresh, quality ingredients; to watch my temperatures, measurements, and time more closely; and to cook with love and passion with instinct and sensibility, always making sure my heart & soul are on every perfect plate I compose.
By Meg Thee Tiger5 years ago in Families
"Momma, why can't you love me?"
Mother and I have not spoken for two years. May of 2021 will be the 3 year anniversary of our failure to communicate. As my best friend recently lost her mother, and countless others die from Covid-19, I am reminded of the inability to know how my mother is doing. It doesn't matter anymore why we haven't communicated. I just believe it is important to be connected during such a dark and unprecedented time in our society.
By Davina Lyons5 years ago in Families
Confession Of A Dad.
I wonder how my life would have turned out, had I not lied to my then three year old daughter. Her favourite pastime was watching cartoons on our 40-inch television. Me, I was not content with my life or job and so I decided to pursue Garden-Designing. I found an online diploma course but I was short of money by a £300. I sold my television that day. Back then, garden-designing was more important to me, a selfish halfwit, than cartoons.
By Rajaroy Joseph Alphonse5 years ago in Families
How can you help your child with homework effectively?
Figure out the best working conditions for your child. Listen to them so that they can work productively. But remember, every person is different. You can be the person who can't stand working in noise while your child only manages to study with a background music! You need to be alone to concentrate? Your child may be different, they can only work in the kitchen!
By Catherine Curtis5 years ago in Families
Covid 19 Lockdown Means Children Need To Be Home Schooled Around The Country
Following UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson's decision to place England in a third lockdown, working parents are under increasing pressure on how to find ways to educate and occupy their children. There have been an increasing number of cases of a new variant of Coronavirus recently occurring in the UK and this is starting to put the health service under increasing pressure.
By Ashish Prabhu5 years ago in Families
