grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
The Wrong Funeral
Phillipe’s is a hotspot in Los Angeles. Hipsters fill the room for a good sandwich but complain about how there are no vegan options in a restaurant known for roast beef sandwiches. At least that’s what happens in today’s time. When I was younger it was our hotspot. Grandpa David's favorite joint. I can still smell the hay that covers the concrete floor, I can still see the crowds of people and taste the freshly cut roast beef on a homemade French roll. Phillipe’s also makes their own spicy mustard. The men in my family always get it and dump it on their sandwiches, but if I’m being honest, their mustard is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. It tastes like mud mixed with mustard seed and cayenne pepper. It completely overtakes the meal and leaves a raunchy taste in your mouth for the rest of the day.
By Madison York8 years ago in Families
Mommy to an Angel
2011 was by far the most traumatic event in my life. My daughter, Grace, was stillborn at 39 weeks and 3 days. My pregnancy with her was great and completely normal. I had my 39-week appointment on March 14th, 2011 and while the doctor flubs her heartbeat, I noticed it was 30 bpm slower than usual. I questioned her about it and she dismissed my fears. We were going to induce that day, but I wasn't dilated at all, so my doctor decided to wait three more days. Induction was then scheduled for March 17th, 2011, St. Patrick's day🍀 The night before my induction, I noticed that she wasn't moving. I figured she was sleeping. I was 21, I really wasn't educated about kick counting or normal fetal behavior. That night I had a dream... My daughter was dead. I woke up crying but dismissed my fears because babies don't die, right? I never thought it was possible. Naïve? Yes. I woke up at 5:30 the next morning and packed my stuff in the car. The whole 20-minute ride, I knew something was wrong. My mom and my cousin came with me to the delivery room. I changed into a hospital gown and sat on the bed while the nurse got the belly monitors ready. She tried for a good 5 minutes to find my daughter's heartbeat, nothing. She found my heartbeat and said, "I hear her in there, I know she's there." That was the biggest lie I've ever heard. She exited the room and another nurse came in. She also tried to find the heartbeat. The second nurse tried the fetal Doppler incase the belly monitors weren't working correctly. Again, no heartbeat was found. I knew something was wrong by the look in her eyes. She said nothing as she left. Both nurses entered the room a couple minutes later with my doctor. My doctor also tried to find the heartbeat with no luck. She called for an ultrasound machine. Something was very, very wrong. For what seemed like an eternity, the machine finally arrived along with my doctor and three nurses. She spent 10 minutes attempting to find my daughter's heartbeat on the ultrasound, but her face said it all. Tears came rolling down her cheeks. She touched my leg and said,"I'm so sorry, sweetie. I can't find her heartbeat." At that point, everyone in the room started crying. My baby was dead inside of me. I failed her, my body failed her. It's not fair! I begged for a C-section just to get it over with. I was told that I couldn't have a C-section because it was not medically necessary, so we started a regular induction with pitocin and a cervidil pill to dilate me. My grandma was supposed to come to the delivery after her hair appointment. My mom called her and told her what was going on. All I heard was, "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." This was fairly significant because my grandma is very religious and never takes the Lord's name in vain, nor does she swear. About an hour later my grandmother arrived with three angel necklaces, one for me, one for my mom and one for my two-year-old daughter. She was crying, and it broke my heart even more. My pastor was called and sat with all of us until an hour before I delivered. I attempted to nap and while I was sleeping, I woke up screaming and crying. "She's dead! She's dead, Mom!"
By Jessica Leigh8 years ago in Families
I Miss You
It's true what they say; losing a loved one changes you in ways you never know until it happens to you. Once upon a time, I was a happy young girl with a world of possibilities and a smile that never left. My family was my rock and my life was perfect. My parents both worked so hard so that my little brother Daniel and I could have everything we would need in life and grow up with a happy, big home. I was so lucky. I was always a daddy's girl and looked up to him always. Despite that, I never stopped loving my mum. She was always there for me, to give me a hug, to give me a kiss, or to answer my many many questions about how long rabbits live.
By Carrie-Ann Oliveira8 years ago in Families
A Tribute to Daddy
My daddy isn't and never was the real sappy type. We didn't have the typical relationship, and rarely said I love you. We were more likely to be fighting and telling each other to go to hell, or laughing and drinking tequila. We didn't need all that hugging, lovey stuff. We just knew we loved one another and that was, and still is, enough.
By Linda Bonnell8 years ago in Families
Getting to Know Grief
The thing about Grief that not everyone realizes is that it’s not just a word or a feeling or a pit stop on a journey. I capitalize it because Grief is the proper name of a living, moving presence. There are many different types of Grief, but for my purposes, I’m going to focus on the one that is the heaviest and most deeply permanent; the Grief that is formerly introduced upon losing a loved one.
By Meg Monthie8 years ago in Families
Before the 11 O'Clock Service
It was a cold December mourning and Esmee had lost it all. 10:10 AM She stood in black against the trunk of a huge evergreen, gazing down at the dirt, fingers clawing at her wrists. Her eyes red and bloodshot, hidden behind a cascade of blonde hair, that covered a young and innocent face - a face that was destined for greatness and so full of potential... but not anymore.
By Unity Addison8 years ago in Families
A Letter to My Parents, One They Will Never Read
As I lay in bed, a song comes on it reminds me of you as many things do. I am met with a wave of emotions, I am reminded of all the happy memories that I had with you, as well as all the terrible memories I have with you. As I remember every moment that ultimately led up to this moment, I think of all the times you told me you would stop, that you would get me back and give me a better life. Well that better life never came for me, but it did for you, in fact both of you. You have no more hurt, no more worries, while I am here stuck with just memories that are beginning to fade from the suppression that I put on them. I don't want to forget them, but you both left me with so much pain and at a young age and they hurt so much.
By Scarly Sunshine8 years ago in Families
He's Gone
I was sitting on the purple speckled floor of the relief society room, playing with the restless 2-year-old. I had a grey dress on covered in pink flowers, my hair at its best, and my emotion unreadable. My mother stood next to the grey open casket as person after person walked up and hugged her. The tears were rolling down everyone's faces, and it seemed at the moment, no one was breathing. This death was untimely; he was too young. The celebration that usually came with grandparents, the knowledge that he was in a better place, was all distant. Because we all wanted him back.
By Alyssa Martin8 years ago in Families
