grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
A Hurt Unlike Any Other
My grandmother Bertha was one of the most important people in my life. There wasn’t one step I took through life where she wasn’t right there beside me. Right there beside us all. She was the hand we had to hold, and the rock we didn’t deserve. While she had her flaws, as we all do, she was perfect in all of our eyes. With all of her roughness, her trauma, and her radiance, she was perfect.
By Malichi Neil Morris8 years ago in Families
Surviving Loss
People do not truly look at things in life. We experience so much during our every day but yet we miss it as it happens. We do not notice these things until they are brought to our attention. Today I notice every ounce of detail that God sends my way. Whether it's the gorgeous blue skies or the color of the mountains in spring. For the last year and 2 months, I have looked at everything and everyone in life so much more closely than I did back then. I take every day as a gift and every opportunity as a sign. In the past I was never one to preach to God for help or to pray for a sick friend. I always believed in God but on April 16, 2017, I really looked to him for guidance and strength. On April 16, 2017, I had woken up to a phone call that no mother ever wants to hear. A phone call that would put you in a state of shock, a phone call that you would never think you would recover from. My youngest son, Bretlin, who is 2-years-old and just a month shy of 3, did not wake up that morning. This day was Easter Sunday, and all kids on Easter Sunday run to their baskets and look for the goodies the Easter Bunny had left them. But God had a plan for Bretlin that no one knew of but God himself, and I believe Bretlin knew too. At the moment of receiving this phone call, I was in New Jersey visiting with family and Bretlin was spending the weekend with his father. I was three hours away from home! To get a call and to be that far away from him crushed me. I cried the whole way back. Still in shock and disbelief, I prayed to God to save him but it was too late. I praise the Lycoming County Coroner for waiting for my return, just so I could see him before he was taken away. My sweet Bretlin was healthy and was never sick! During the week he was fighting a head cold and was seen by the doctor. Medicine was prescribed to treat a small ear infection. He was perfectly fine and getting better come time for him to go to his father's. Later we were notified of his cause of death. They told us that the medicine was not treating the ear infection like it should have. While he laid to rest the night before, all ready to wake the next day for the Easter Bunny... Bretlin's heart stopped in his sleep at 4 AM Easter Morning. The infection in his body had attacked his heart, causing it to stop in his sleep. Going peacefully with the lord, I envision God holding his little hand and walking at his side to the gold gates. The day before I had spoken to Bretlin on the phone and the last thing he said to me was "Wuve you, Mama." My forever favorite words!
By Lindsey Bierly8 years ago in Families
My Prayer to You, Granny
Dear Granny, The morning I woke up to the horrifying phone call, I drove fast to your side; I prayed for God to wake you up. I prayed that you not have to go this way, because you deserved a peaceful eternal slumber. I prayed that you not live in a state of fear or pain, that you’d get better, wake up, and experience all of the love surrounding your bed. I prayed you stay with us a little longer so I can wish you a happy belated birthday from just days before, a happy belated Mother’s Day that I was drunk for, and only wrote a post on social media while feeling sorry for my stressed out self.
By Anna Paige8 years ago in Families
Letting Go
The sun was covered by a thick blanket of deep grey clouds that covered any blue for as far as anyone could see. On this cold, cloudy New York city morning, she walked quickly into her favorite bookshop. Just as she approaches the rain starts to fall, drizzles at first but as she makes it in the door it starts to pour. She finds at the front door a box with a sign that says “Take some inspiration to chase away a bad day.” She reached into the box and pulls out a slip of paper, she made her way to her favorite, oversized green chair; curled up into it. She opened up the slip of paper and read the words: “Don’t let anyone dim your shine.” She laid her head back and closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek and she thought of the words that he used to say. She tried to remember the words said in his voice, something he used to say to her almost daily and yet she couldn’t summon his voice to her memory. Tears started to fill her eyes as she thought about the fact that it had only been two weeks but had already begun to fade from her mind.
By Alexandrea Callaghan8 years ago in Families
Childhood's End
“Stop screaming, can’t you see the man over there is dying?” After hearing those words, I could not help but wonder why they were here. Was their child sick? Was her husband stabbed? Someone in dreary need of help for sure. For just a second I was curious instead of grieving. Because it was my dad the one being rushed in a stretcher to the surgeon. It amazes me how I can look back at that moment and be so calm, because I can remember how it felt, and it felt like the entire world was crumbling. You know, ever had those kinds of dreams in which things are just too much, like your head inflates out of proportion and it never stops. That’s kind of how it felt. It’s all clear, but sort of like a dream, it felt like an eternity. But we went in to the Carlos Fonseca Emergency room at 5 PM, and it was all gone by 10 PM. Looking back, it’s even funny, well, if I ever had a moment in my life I could write about was when he gave me his ring, his wallet, his watch, and said, “Let’s go son.” In that moment, I knew it was going to be the last time I was going to be with my dad. The thing is, we had had a conversation at some point where he said to me, “When I’m gone, this ring will be yours.” Only he and I knew that. And at that point I did not want the ring; it was his to wear. But he didn’t take it back. So I started wrapping my head around him no longer being around. We got to a bed; I was sitting next to him, massaging his feet because his legs were cramping. Now in hindsight, I realize this was because his heart was no longer pumping blood to his extremities as it was supposed to. He was too uncomfortable to be lying in bed so we decided to sit him in a chair. I don’t remember his very last words to me. I remember our last day. In the last minutes of his light I think he could only complain about the pain. He never complained. I saw the life leave his body. I know the exact moment in which he died. When he asked me to give him my hand, and as I was reaching for it, his hand fell; I couldn’t make it. Then I saw him sit there with his mouth open, no longer saying anything, no longer looking at anything. That has to be the moment. Because what came after was torture. “Call a doctor, someone!” my mom screamed. “A doctor please,” she cried. This was the very first moment I can recall feeling truly helpless. Not able to make up a single word. Bawling my eyes out. I was literally frozen. I couldn’t move. Somehow we got out of that room. But the room I went in after, what I saw, no kid ever should ever see.
By Enoc Aguado8 years ago in Families
The Grieving Process
My memorial weekend was rather uneventful in 2016. My parents went off to visit my brother and sister-in-law in Colorado over the holiday, and my son and I were looking over the farm for them while away. Sitting peacefully on the back steps listening to the birds chanting back and forth, I felt blissful. That feeling didn’t last long.
By Meagan Hagerman8 years ago in Families
It Killed Us All
Never did I think I would be standing in the room with my older cousin, no soul, just the body of someone I grew close to. 22 years young and so many goals he had yet to achieve. I get that it is a part of life and everyone passes at one point in their life, but never did I ever think that a beautiful soul, an amazing person would have gone like this.
By Candace Gamble8 years ago in Families
Habits
"There's coffee in the pot," someone says to me as I'm scooping out my Nescafé instant coffee into a mug and adding hot water from the dispenser. "All good, this is faster," I reply. I tell people I'm lazy for preferring instant coffee to the real stuff. I tell people it's because I don't know how to use the coffee machine (this much is true but I’m sure I could learn if I wanted), a variety of excuses that look like I'm making my usual self-deprecating jokes. All to avoid the truth because it's just too painful to explain and I don't want to bum any of my coworkers out first thing in the morning because of a cup of coffee. The truth is that drinking this coffee reminds me of someone—of a morning ritual I got into because of that someone—it reminds me of a time I don’t want to have turned into some distant, hazy memory. Sure, I've since made that over-burnt powder more palatable with a splash of hazelnut almond milk, but every time I take that first sip I'm briefly transported back to a small blue kitchen in Murrumba Downs, Australia.
By Postit Fox8 years ago in Families
An Incapability of Attachment . Top Story - May 2018.
An Incapability of Attachment It begins with a boy, six years of age, charcoal skinned and ashen. There was something about him then, the colours of the sky; the textures of hair; the bite of a lemon. All things were wonderful and fascinating.
By Jordan Ento8 years ago in Families
Life Is a Winding Road
One of the hardest things to go through is change. No matter what it is, leaving the comfort of normal is a scary thing. Even if you’ve gotten a promotion at work, it’s still very scary. Losing a job is scary as hell. Finding the new job is scary as hell. And when you finally find that new job, it’s ridiculously scary. The fear doesn't just come with employment, it comes with life. It comes with meeting someone new that you're interested in, breaking up with someone or even worse, when you lose a family member. Regardless of what change you're going through, what will make or break you is how you deal with the change, how your attitude guides you through.
By Vincent Graziano8 years ago in Families
